Post by MMR1 "Re-Generation-X" on Dec 18, 2007 21:38:28 GMT -5
(We find ReGeneration X back at their apartment after MegaBrawl. They are both pumped up about their victories but something is clearly troubling them.)
MMR1: Dude, we had great matches.
Jim: Yeah, but something is clearly troubling us.
MMR1: Why are we being subjected to mid-card storylines and lackluster matches?
Jim: Yeah, I mean you just had the sprit of Eddie “Latino Heat” Guerrero take over your body so you could totally “Ghostbuster” Kay Fabe /Chris Beniot’s ass, in a totally not gay way.
MMR1: Yeah and you just crushed a tard and a crappy white rapper in the same match.
Jim: Basically I feel like I just beat up the short bus.
MMR1: So how is it that we are wrestling losers and “The Great” is getting a shot at The Only World Title That Matters?
Jim: I don’t know know man…maybe he has good management, but at least I get a shot to be the number one contender.
MMR1: Maybe…but I have a feeling that Axl will have a few gay tricks up his sleeves.
Jim: You mean like the “Lube Lowdown”?
MMR1: What?
Jim: Nothing. What were you saying?
MMR1: Just that I think we you need to be prepared for anything. And since Trey the Gay has me booked to defend my Swiss Army Title against some bird brain later in the card I can’t be there.
(There’s a knock on the front door.)
MMR1: Thank God, the pizza’s here.
(Jim goes to the door and opens it. In walks a kid with a pizza.)
Pizza Guy: That’ll be $12.99.
(Jim reaches for his wallet.)
MMR1: Wait! Don’t we know you?
Pizza Guy: Probably I deliver to this place like 3 times a week.
Jim: It’s true we love our pie.
MMR1: No that’s not it. What’s your name kid?
Pizza Guy: Mike.
Jim: Mike the Pizza Guy, it’s all so clear now…dude can I just pay the guy I am freakin’ hungry.
MMR1: You wouldn’t happen to be Michael McIntosh would you.
Pizza Guy: Uh yeah!
MMR1: We all worked together in Bob’s
MM: I know but I figured you didn’t care much since I was a jobber and you guys were…less jobber.
Jim: Totally…
MMR1: Well we recently came into some trouble at work so how would you like to join our…
(We hear a crash MMR1 turns to find Jim…totally okay.)
MMR1: Dude aren’t you supposed to be laid out on the floor now?
Jim: I know dude I am just as surprised as you are.
(Jim and MMR1 stand puzzled.)
Voice: You sorry sum bitches couldn’t find a spot on Lady Macbeth’s unwashed hands.
MMR1/Jim: Huh?
(MMR1 and Jim turn to find Michael McIntosh laid out on the floor bleeding from his ears and Hardcore JJ standing over him drinking a Pepsi.)
Jim: JJ does you mommy know where you are?
JJ: Sure does I told her my Uncle Jimmy needs me and I told her some Nancy boy named Luke Warm is trying to monopolize a perfectly good parody gimmick.
MMR1: But why did you JJ drop Michael the Pizza Guy?
JJ: Cause Uncle Jimmy was on the other side of the room so I couldn’t drop his sorry ass and make a surprise entrance any other reasonable questions?
Jim: Wait, so you’re the one whose been laying me out all these weeks?
JJ: Actually I only did it once you did it the rest yourself.
MMR1: Dude I told you it was all because of that inner ear infection you got.
Jim: Well it looks like we got ourselves some good help…welcome to Re-X JJ.
JJ: Thanks but you better not try to get me to wear any of that sissy merchandise.
MMR1: You got it…but….
(There is another knock on the door. In walks a beautiful blonde)
MMR1: Dude I got this one.
(MMR1 walks over to the blonde)
MMR1: Hey you got the wrong address the nail salon is up the street a …
Blonde: Josh it’s me Amy.
MMR1: Amy? Hmm….oh shit! I swear I thought I was wearing a condom and…
(A somewhat familiar face appears in the doorway.)
Dude: Sup buddy?
MMR1: Jim he must be for you.
(Jim walks over to the guy.)
Jim: Hey dude with a beard.
Dude: Dude, it’s me Brandon.
Jim: Holy shit Brandon…
(Jim and Brandon hug)
MMR1: Oh gay…Dude what’s with the beard?
Brandon: Oh I didn’t know if you guys were heel or face now so I came prepared with my “Heel Beard”.
Jim: Wow, with a beard like that you can be in Da Sassy Bitch’s new faction “Totally Gay”.
MMR1 and Jim laugh and high five as the blonde walks over to Brandon and gives him a big wet kiss. MMR1 and Jim look at each other..)
MMR1/Jim (to each other): Shemale.
Brandon: You guys remember my wife Amy.
(Jim and MMR1 look blankly at each other.)
Brandon: You were at our wedding.
(Jim and MMR1 look blankly at each other.)
Brandon: Josh you were my Best Man.
MMR1: Dude when am I not the best man.
Brandon: We got totally hammered in Mexico..
Jim/MMR1: Oh yeah.
(While this is going on Amy walks over to JJ)
Amy: And who’s this little man..
(Amy pats JJ on the head and JJ looks pissed he walks over to get a chair, Jim runs to the kitchen and grabs a Pepsi and throws it to JJ right before he JJ dropped Amy to hell.)
Jim: That was a close one.
MMR1: No doubt.
(Pain and Pleasure walk in the apartment.)
MMR1: Guys don’t you knock?
SH: Nah, I never knock before I come in the backdoor.
MMR1: That was the front door.
SH: Oh, our bad.
JB: Hey JJ, how you doing eh?
JJ: Okay, I been there destroyed that. You sorry sum bitch.
Brandon: Big Sir, Hi.
SH: Brandon how are you?
Jim: Wait how did you know it was him with that gay beard?
SH: Come on you know how good I am with facials. And who is this lovely peach?
Brandon: This is Amy my WIFE.
(Big Sir hands Jean 5 dollars.)
MMR1: Jim we I think we found you some lumberjacks.
(A dude in all pink walks in)
Jim: Da Sassy Bitch you didn’t knock.
DSB: I never knock before I come in the back door.
(Everyone looks away and nearly throws up.)
Brandon: Bitch I thought you retired?
DSB: Nope just spent a little time touring with some friends in the musical “Taboo”.
Jim: This is great…with all of you Axl doesn’t have a chance at getting a shot at the OWTTM’s. (Jim looks at MMR1 who is now eating some popcorn and looking puzzled.) What is it?…You think we need one more…okay we’ll find one more.
(We do a classy fade out and fade up on a monastery where a 6’10” man in a monk’s robe is walking around. When Tom Cruise walks through the door.)
TC: Can I tell you about Scientology?
(The 6’10” man in the robe grabs Tom Cruise and puts him in the torture rack until his stops screaming and moving…and breathing…oh man.)
6’10” Man: Shhhhhhh
(Another man in a robe runs in to check on Tom and then turns to the tall man. And points at the door and in one flowing motion removes the mans robe and throws it at the camera. When the camera comes back into focus, thank you very much Mr. Monk, we see the 6’10” man walking out the door in a bright light….all we can make out is the back of his shirt which says “The Pacifier”. We fade out again…I know two fade outs in one promo we are breaking the bank…and fade back in on or newly formed mega faction….)
MM: Did anyone get the name of that cabbage patch kid that hit me?
MMR1: Holy Shit Michael McIntosh is okay
(Just then Brandon runs across the room jumps at McIntosh driving his knees into Michael’s chin grabs the back of his head and using his momentum to drive Michael backward where Brandon’s knees smash into Michael’s chest. Needless to say McIntosh is not getting up. And everyone is standing stunned except JJ who is a little miffed that Brandon beat him to the punch…literally.)
Brandon: No ticket…I love that line.
DSB: What was that?
Brandon: Oh that was my new finisher, I’ve been working on it for a couple years I call it “The BitchBreaker”.
MMR1: Okay, anyone else have anything to say?
Brandon: “That bitch got broke”
JB: “That bitch got broke” I love it…speaking of loving it…I love spaghetti-o’s
SH: Oh that reminds me of this scene I was doing in this independent foreign film “Beefaroni”, but speaking of spaghetti Tony you and raYne are gonna feel the paYne that falls mainly on the plaYn.
JB: Hey, that sounds like….
SH: Sounds like?
JB: …Did you ever know that you’re my hero eh?
SH: Oh geez, anyway…Come New Horizon you 2 are gonna feel the pain and pleasure of the slap and tickle.
JB: Oh what’s that?
SH: Jean you know what that is.
JB: What what is?
SH: The Slap and tickle.
JB: Oh what’s that?
SH: Forget it…(Big Sir starts jingling his car keys in front of Jean)
Jim: Axl I’m gonna start the new year with a bang, by kicking your ass to kingdom come at New Horizon. And there isn’t a thing your Hierarchy can do about it cause I got a butt-load of Bob’s Legends backing me up…(DSB starts to giggle)…I mean a lot and Da Sassy Bitch you’re not aloud to back me up because that would be a violation of the contractual agreement you made with Bob’s.
DSB: “I’m not gay!!!”
Jim: I knew you were gonna work that in.. So after I take out the top of the Hierarchy and that pyramid scheme comes tumbling down…I am coming for you Death…and don’t think I forgot about what you did to me…
MMR1: Yeah Jim wants his John Cougar Mellencamp cd back you jerk.
Jim: Oh thanks dude I forgot he had that…but I didn’t forget that you killed me…and after I take out Axl I look forward to returning the favor.
MMR1: Well said bro. Now Pigeon don’t think I forgot about you.
(MMR1 reaches into his pocket and pulls out a hand full of bird seed and lets it rain onto the floor.)
MMR1: Like seeds through my hand theses are the days of your short life. Oh and “We’re all back and we’re still better than ya’ll”.
JJ: And that’s the last line because my mommy….
(The scene hazes out and we come up pool side at cost effective hotel…otherwise known as a Best Western. There is man sitting on pool chair facing away from the camera. It’s very Charlie’s Angels. The man picks up a piece of paper from the pool table…opens it up and it reads “Joshitude conference 2007, Fort Lauderdale Fl”. The man rips the paper in half and then stands…)
The Man: It’s Time…Hmmm when was that movie again? Oh yeah Thurday Night.
(The scene hazes back to JJ who is looking at me rather rudely.)
JJ: Hmmmm…JJ grabs the Detached Narrator by his detached throat…Don’t you ever interrupt me when my mommy is saying something. And “That’s the last line cause my mommy said so.”
(Fade 2 Black)
MMR1: Dude, we had great matches.
Jim: Yeah, but something is clearly troubling us.
MMR1: Why are we being subjected to mid-card storylines and lackluster matches?
Jim: Yeah, I mean you just had the sprit of Eddie “Latino Heat” Guerrero take over your body so you could totally “Ghostbuster” Kay Fabe /Chris Beniot’s ass, in a totally not gay way.
MMR1: Yeah and you just crushed a tard and a crappy white rapper in the same match.
Jim: Basically I feel like I just beat up the short bus.
MMR1: So how is it that we are wrestling losers and “The Great” is getting a shot at The Only World Title That Matters?
Jim: I don’t know know man…maybe he has good management, but at least I get a shot to be the number one contender.
MMR1: Maybe…but I have a feeling that Axl will have a few gay tricks up his sleeves.
Jim: You mean like the “Lube Lowdown”?
MMR1: What?
Jim: Nothing. What were you saying?
MMR1: Just that I think we you need to be prepared for anything. And since Trey the Gay has me booked to defend my Swiss Army Title against some bird brain later in the card I can’t be there.
(There’s a knock on the front door.)
MMR1: Thank God, the pizza’s here.
(Jim goes to the door and opens it. In walks a kid with a pizza.)
Pizza Guy: That’ll be $12.99.
(Jim reaches for his wallet.)
MMR1: Wait! Don’t we know you?
Pizza Guy: Probably I deliver to this place like 3 times a week.
Jim: It’s true we love our pie.
MMR1: No that’s not it. What’s your name kid?
Pizza Guy: Mike.
Jim: Mike the Pizza Guy, it’s all so clear now…dude can I just pay the guy I am freakin’ hungry.
MMR1: You wouldn’t happen to be Michael McIntosh would you.
Pizza Guy: Uh yeah!
MMR1: We all worked together in Bob’s
MM: I know but I figured you didn’t care much since I was a jobber and you guys were…less jobber.
Jim: Totally…
MMR1: Well we recently came into some trouble at work so how would you like to join our…
(We hear a crash MMR1 turns to find Jim…totally okay.)
MMR1: Dude aren’t you supposed to be laid out on the floor now?
Jim: I know dude I am just as surprised as you are.
(Jim and MMR1 stand puzzled.)
Voice: You sorry sum bitches couldn’t find a spot on Lady Macbeth’s unwashed hands.
MMR1/Jim: Huh?
(MMR1 and Jim turn to find Michael McIntosh laid out on the floor bleeding from his ears and Hardcore JJ standing over him drinking a Pepsi.)
Jim: JJ does you mommy know where you are?
JJ: Sure does I told her my Uncle Jimmy needs me and I told her some Nancy boy named Luke Warm is trying to monopolize a perfectly good parody gimmick.
MMR1: But why did you JJ drop Michael the Pizza Guy?
JJ: Cause Uncle Jimmy was on the other side of the room so I couldn’t drop his sorry ass and make a surprise entrance any other reasonable questions?
Jim: Wait, so you’re the one whose been laying me out all these weeks?
JJ: Actually I only did it once you did it the rest yourself.
MMR1: Dude I told you it was all because of that inner ear infection you got.
Jim: Well it looks like we got ourselves some good help…welcome to Re-X JJ.
JJ: Thanks but you better not try to get me to wear any of that sissy merchandise.
MMR1: You got it…but….
(There is another knock on the door. In walks a beautiful blonde)
MMR1: Dude I got this one.
(MMR1 walks over to the blonde)
MMR1: Hey you got the wrong address the nail salon is up the street a …
Blonde: Josh it’s me Amy.
MMR1: Amy? Hmm….oh shit! I swear I thought I was wearing a condom and…
(A somewhat familiar face appears in the doorway.)
Dude: Sup buddy?
MMR1: Jim he must be for you.
(Jim walks over to the guy.)
Jim: Hey dude with a beard.
Dude: Dude, it’s me Brandon.
Jim: Holy shit Brandon…
(Jim and Brandon hug)
MMR1: Oh gay…Dude what’s with the beard?
Brandon: Oh I didn’t know if you guys were heel or face now so I came prepared with my “Heel Beard”.
Jim: Wow, with a beard like that you can be in Da Sassy Bitch’s new faction “Totally Gay”.
MMR1 and Jim laugh and high five as the blonde walks over to Brandon and gives him a big wet kiss. MMR1 and Jim look at each other..)
MMR1/Jim (to each other): Shemale.
Brandon: You guys remember my wife Amy.
(Jim and MMR1 look blankly at each other.)
Brandon: You were at our wedding.
(Jim and MMR1 look blankly at each other.)
Brandon: Josh you were my Best Man.
MMR1: Dude when am I not the best man.
Brandon: We got totally hammered in Mexico..
Jim/MMR1: Oh yeah.
(While this is going on Amy walks over to JJ)
Amy: And who’s this little man..
(Amy pats JJ on the head and JJ looks pissed he walks over to get a chair, Jim runs to the kitchen and grabs a Pepsi and throws it to JJ right before he JJ dropped Amy to hell.)
Jim: That was a close one.
MMR1: No doubt.
(Pain and Pleasure walk in the apartment.)
MMR1: Guys don’t you knock?
SH: Nah, I never knock before I come in the backdoor.
MMR1: That was the front door.
SH: Oh, our bad.
JB: Hey JJ, how you doing eh?
JJ: Okay, I been there destroyed that. You sorry sum bitch.
Brandon: Big Sir, Hi.
SH: Brandon how are you?
Jim: Wait how did you know it was him with that gay beard?
SH: Come on you know how good I am with facials. And who is this lovely peach?
Brandon: This is Amy my WIFE.
(Big Sir hands Jean 5 dollars.)
MMR1: Jim we I think we found you some lumberjacks.
(A dude in all pink walks in)
Jim: Da Sassy Bitch you didn’t knock.
DSB: I never knock before I come in the back door.
(Everyone looks away and nearly throws up.)
Brandon: Bitch I thought you retired?
DSB: Nope just spent a little time touring with some friends in the musical “Taboo”.
Jim: This is great…with all of you Axl doesn’t have a chance at getting a shot at the OWTTM’s. (Jim looks at MMR1 who is now eating some popcorn and looking puzzled.) What is it?…You think we need one more…okay we’ll find one more.
(We do a classy fade out and fade up on a monastery where a 6’10” man in a monk’s robe is walking around. When Tom Cruise walks through the door.)
TC: Can I tell you about Scientology?
(The 6’10” man in the robe grabs Tom Cruise and puts him in the torture rack until his stops screaming and moving…and breathing…oh man.)
6’10” Man: Shhhhhhh
(Another man in a robe runs in to check on Tom and then turns to the tall man. And points at the door and in one flowing motion removes the mans robe and throws it at the camera. When the camera comes back into focus, thank you very much Mr. Monk, we see the 6’10” man walking out the door in a bright light….all we can make out is the back of his shirt which says “The Pacifier”. We fade out again…I know two fade outs in one promo we are breaking the bank…and fade back in on or newly formed mega faction….)
MM: Did anyone get the name of that cabbage patch kid that hit me?
MMR1: Holy Shit Michael McIntosh is okay
(Just then Brandon runs across the room jumps at McIntosh driving his knees into Michael’s chin grabs the back of his head and using his momentum to drive Michael backward where Brandon’s knees smash into Michael’s chest. Needless to say McIntosh is not getting up. And everyone is standing stunned except JJ who is a little miffed that Brandon beat him to the punch…literally.)
Brandon: No ticket…I love that line.
DSB: What was that?
Brandon: Oh that was my new finisher, I’ve been working on it for a couple years I call it “The BitchBreaker”.
MMR1: Okay, anyone else have anything to say?
Brandon: “That bitch got broke”
JB: “That bitch got broke” I love it…speaking of loving it…I love spaghetti-o’s
SH: Oh that reminds me of this scene I was doing in this independent foreign film “Beefaroni”, but speaking of spaghetti Tony you and raYne are gonna feel the paYne that falls mainly on the plaYn.
JB: Hey, that sounds like….
SH: Sounds like?
JB: …Did you ever know that you’re my hero eh?
SH: Oh geez, anyway…Come New Horizon you 2 are gonna feel the pain and pleasure of the slap and tickle.
JB: Oh what’s that?
SH: Jean you know what that is.
JB: What what is?
SH: The Slap and tickle.
JB: Oh what’s that?
SH: Forget it…(Big Sir starts jingling his car keys in front of Jean)
Jim: Axl I’m gonna start the new year with a bang, by kicking your ass to kingdom come at New Horizon. And there isn’t a thing your Hierarchy can do about it cause I got a butt-load of Bob’s Legends backing me up…(DSB starts to giggle)…I mean a lot and Da Sassy Bitch you’re not aloud to back me up because that would be a violation of the contractual agreement you made with Bob’s.
DSB: “I’m not gay!!!”
Jim: I knew you were gonna work that in.. So after I take out the top of the Hierarchy and that pyramid scheme comes tumbling down…I am coming for you Death…and don’t think I forgot about what you did to me…
MMR1: Yeah Jim wants his John Cougar Mellencamp cd back you jerk.
Jim: Oh thanks dude I forgot he had that…but I didn’t forget that you killed me…and after I take out Axl I look forward to returning the favor.
MMR1: Well said bro. Now Pigeon don’t think I forgot about you.
(MMR1 reaches into his pocket and pulls out a hand full of bird seed and lets it rain onto the floor.)
MMR1: Like seeds through my hand theses are the days of your short life. Oh and “We’re all back and we’re still better than ya’ll”.
JJ: And that’s the last line because my mommy….
(The scene hazes out and we come up pool side at cost effective hotel…otherwise known as a Best Western. There is man sitting on pool chair facing away from the camera. It’s very Charlie’s Angels. The man picks up a piece of paper from the pool table…opens it up and it reads “Joshitude conference 2007, Fort Lauderdale Fl”. The man rips the paper in half and then stands…)
The Man: It’s Time…Hmmm when was that movie again? Oh yeah Thurday Night.
(The scene hazes back to JJ who is looking at me rather rudely.)
JJ: Hmmmm…JJ grabs the Detached Narrator by his detached throat…Don’t you ever interrupt me when my mommy is saying something. And “That’s the last line cause my mommy said so.”
(Fade 2 Black)