Post by Dr. Silaconne M. Plants on Aug 15, 2007 11:08:01 GMT -5
[The scene takes place in a seedy bar. The seediness of said bar is indicated by its seedy patrons ---- countless thugs, hoodlums, goons, and toughs. There's a guy wearing a Hannibal Lecter mask, and several "women of the night". To top it all off, there is an evil ---- and undeniably seedy ---- midget standing in the corner bedecked with an eye patch. You can talk seedy all you want, but unless you've got an one-eyed midget you're really just talking out of your ass.
SMP and Nurse Heidi are seen at a table, generally more seedy than usual. The Doc is wearing a wrinkled suit soiled with yesterday's breakfast of egg and gravy biscuits and Heidi is dressed like a French Maid. The less said about that that better. Or is it? French Maids ROCK! Especially to guys that have fetishes of women in uniform, i.e. nurses, now dressed up as French Maids. I'm rambling, huh?
Ummmm. Cut to dialog...]
NH: Hey Sil? [she takes a swig from a mug which is OBVIOUSLY full of dark beer like SAMUEL ADAMS or something.] Why are we here? What are we doing?
SMP: [OBVIOUSLY DRUNK and slurring his words, which is only as obvious as I can type "slurred" speech patterns.] Thatsh the peeoint, Heidish. There ish NO point. *hic*
NH: Oh I see. Has this anything to do with Josh and Jim cornering the market on dead wrestlers? And Death cornering the market on dead wrestler's souls? Coma and several others playing up to our, how should I say this? Mentally Handicapable fan-base...
douja has the drug demographic, Axl has the gays...
SMP: SILENTH! I shall have thisth make senth. *hic*
NH: Oh, now I get it... you're struggling so much for promo fodder you're now using ideas from so-and-so's airplane reading material? You've stooped to an all-time low...
SMP: NO! [SMP leaps to his feet and flips the table over, from four different camera angles just like in the "Hungry Like The Wolf" video.]
[He is no longer drunk. It was an act, you see? A metaphor. An indication as to how The Smooth Operator feels he's being treated at the announcement of the Mano e Zeno card.]
SMP: This whole bit sucks and is getting suckier by the minute. I'm basically being treated like a bum in a shithole tavern, hence the set-up. But since it's going downhill, I'm just going to pop off about my displeasure about the recent handling of my status and power in this promotion.
Why am I, the GREATEST PROFESSIONAL WRESTLER of all times reduced to possible "random drawing" to get on a show? Does that increase buy rates? How so, to see if fans will buy to see if I DON'T get put in that match, randomly or not so randomly, that I don't find myself a machine gun and start mowing down people?
What's the reasoning?
All I have is that dumbass Axl VanHalen challenging me to every match under his sun in an attempt to get me on one of his shows and job me out. Like that stupid D.U.M.P. character...
NH: I thought we cleared that up...
SMP: Oh no! Let me tell you this... I will never meet Axl on his terms because he is beneath me. I have no reason to wrestle him, especially on one of his makeshift fly-by-night shows. That's career suicide.
I'll meet him in BOB, when he deserves the honor of getting his ass handed to him by me.
He hasn't earned that right. Yet...
NH: Okay, but can we go? There's a lot of people in here that's looking at me in a very unsavory way.
SMP: Yeah, let's just end this abruptly and without reason. To symbolize the thinking of the booking around here.
[END]
[Un-End]
[To be continued...]
[Re-End]
SMP and Nurse Heidi are seen at a table, generally more seedy than usual. The Doc is wearing a wrinkled suit soiled with yesterday's breakfast of egg and gravy biscuits and Heidi is dressed like a French Maid. The less said about that that better. Or is it? French Maids ROCK! Especially to guys that have fetishes of women in uniform, i.e. nurses, now dressed up as French Maids. I'm rambling, huh?
Ummmm. Cut to dialog...]
NH: Hey Sil? [she takes a swig from a mug which is OBVIOUSLY full of dark beer like SAMUEL ADAMS or something.] Why are we here? What are we doing?
SMP: [OBVIOUSLY DRUNK and slurring his words, which is only as obvious as I can type "slurred" speech patterns.] Thatsh the peeoint, Heidish. There ish NO point. *hic*
NH: Oh I see. Has this anything to do with Josh and Jim cornering the market on dead wrestlers? And Death cornering the market on dead wrestler's souls? Coma and several others playing up to our, how should I say this? Mentally Handicapable fan-base...
douja has the drug demographic, Axl has the gays...
SMP: SILENTH! I shall have thisth make senth. *hic*
NH: Oh, now I get it... you're struggling so much for promo fodder you're now using ideas from so-and-so's airplane reading material? You've stooped to an all-time low...
SMP: NO! [SMP leaps to his feet and flips the table over, from four different camera angles just like in the "Hungry Like The Wolf" video.]
[He is no longer drunk. It was an act, you see? A metaphor. An indication as to how The Smooth Operator feels he's being treated at the announcement of the Mano e Zeno card.]
SMP: This whole bit sucks and is getting suckier by the minute. I'm basically being treated like a bum in a shithole tavern, hence the set-up. But since it's going downhill, I'm just going to pop off about my displeasure about the recent handling of my status and power in this promotion.
Why am I, the GREATEST PROFESSIONAL WRESTLER of all times reduced to possible "random drawing" to get on a show? Does that increase buy rates? How so, to see if fans will buy to see if I DON'T get put in that match, randomly or not so randomly, that I don't find myself a machine gun and start mowing down people?
What's the reasoning?
All I have is that dumbass Axl VanHalen challenging me to every match under his sun in an attempt to get me on one of his shows and job me out. Like that stupid D.U.M.P. character...
NH: I thought we cleared that up...
SMP: Oh no! Let me tell you this... I will never meet Axl on his terms because he is beneath me. I have no reason to wrestle him, especially on one of his makeshift fly-by-night shows. That's career suicide.
I'll meet him in BOB, when he deserves the honor of getting his ass handed to him by me.
He hasn't earned that right. Yet...
NH: Okay, but can we go? There's a lot of people in here that's looking at me in a very unsavory way.
SMP: Yeah, let's just end this abruptly and without reason. To symbolize the thinking of the booking around here.
[END]
[Un-End]
[To be continued...]
[Re-End]