Post by @xL on May 2, 2007 2:45:38 GMT -5
It's been three weeks...
Three weeks.
SMP... douja...
I have something very important to tell you both.
...
You're both... OLD!!!
... Ahem.
Ladies and gentlemen. Good evening.
You've seen... that seeing is believing.
Your ears and your eyes? They'll be bleeding.
Please check to see if you're still breathing.
Hold tight, because the show is not over.
If you will, PLEASE... move in closer.
You're about to be bowled over...
By the wonders you're about to behold here.
Welcome... to the show.
Please. Come inside.
Ladies... and gentlemen.
====================================
For eight years. A promotion, that was once a small time, untelevised, poorly run company that held their shows in school gyms... has slowly... but surely, lifted itself from the doldrums. Brawlers on a Budget. Now, a small time, poorly run company that airs on Comedy Central at 3 am, running events from a casino. Yes, BoB has finally reached the pinnacle of the sports entertainment landscape. ... Or... well, atleast, as high as it's going to reach. Which isn't that far at all. But hey, atleast they're not dead like 80% of the e-feds that have existed since 1999. On life support? HELL YES, SEND US MONEY, NOW! ... But dead? ... Uhm... oh, no, no, not dead. Sorta... had to think about that one.
Brawlers on a Budget has witnessed some of the strangest occurances in the history of proffesional wrestling. Things that would make the angles WCW played host to seem absolutely ordinary. From championships winning themselves, to washing machines winning battle royales, to disembodied voices becoming one of the most recognizable characters on the program, to the Pope himself facing off in the squared circle. BoB has had a long and storied history. One that may be filled with more plot holes and needless twists and turns than a Vince Russo storyline... but through it all, BoB has managed to entertain. Well... to entertain those that have actually went to a show or stayed up till 3 in the morning to watch wrestling on Comedy Central. And the S.U.M.'s. SEND US MONEY, I SAID!!! ...
But... tonight. Tonight... is a night that could very well change the course of BoB history... forever. For tonight, one man, the infamous Metal God and Swiss Army Belt Champion himself, Axl VanHalen, has taken it upon himself to ressurect an event created by two men. The aforementioned Vince Russo, and his protege; Reeve Gordon. But this time, Axl has vowed to bring together the best of the best BoB superstars... both past, AND present. Don't believe me? The card itself speaks volumes as to how far this very event could take BoB into a direction it's never been... away from the gutter. And into the hearts, minds, and souls of every last man, woman and child across the nation. By tomorrow, Brawlers on a Budget could very well be a household name. The card, as it stands:
Kurt Angel, Rob Van Spam, douja, Alan Qaida vs Death, Lord Athackkimentham, Uber Vampire Warrior, Lord Lestat Von Sexbat
Peter "X Factor" Trable and The Snapmare Kid vs The Undietaker and the Undietaker - Six Sides of Electrified Triple Steel Cage Hell in an Annhilation Chamber Tag Team Tornado Table Match of Much Sports Entertainment
"Slightly Gay" Ray vs Double Gay - Flaming Queer Death Dildo on a Pole Match
Wayne and Garth vs Travis and BoBhead vs BoB newcomers: Bill and Ted - Triple Threat Tag to crown brand new "You Gotta Have Friends" Champions
Billy Polar vs Patrick Fitzgerald and Gerald Fitzpatrick - Typical Handicap Squash Match Used to Build Monster Heat... even though Polar's technically retired. As are Pat and Gerry...
Captain Twilight vs Captain Comb Over vs Captain Whacked vs Captain Obvious - Captain America Tribute 4-Way Dance
Dyslexic Avenger vs BoB newcomer: Obsessive Compulsive Avenger - First Ever "Hey, Don't Forget About Us Avengers, You Captain Fanatics!" Match
Premslwvk vs Bobo Q. Fiendish vs Sir Ronald Killalot vs Billy Polar vs Bohemoth vs Trey Vincent vs Hardcore JJ vs Coma vs Massive Man Rendition First vs Violent Pacifist vs Sarah "The Jobber Slayer" vs Axl VanHalen - 12 Person Gauntlet Match for OWTTM #1 Contendership
Sillacone M. Plants vs a whole bunch of random jobbers - Very Special "SMP's going to lose, and he's going to lose BAD!" Match
OWTTM: Sir Zeno vs Axl VanHalen ... er, #1 Contender from 12 Person Gauntlet [could very well be anyone besides Axl. I mean... Premslwhatever! Yeah!]
Looks good, doesn't it? You KNOW it does! So without further adieu, ladies and gentlemen... welcome. To WrassleMania... 2007!!!
====================================
:: Wednesday, May 2nd, 2007 - 1:30 a.m. ::
~ Location: The Middle of Nowhere... outside. ~
[The camera opens to the backyard of Axl VanHalen's Metal Manor. A ring has been set up, along with a few seats on either side. A stereo is set up on a tv-tray. And the only two people within the vicinity are Axl and Tifa.]
Axl: Uhm... Tifa?
Tifa: Yeah?
Axl: Where the hell is everybody?
Tifa: Well... it IS 1:30 in the morning...
Axl: Yeah. Thing is, the show was supposed to start last NIGHT! At 7:30 pm!!! I sent every single guy on the card an invite... I posted advertisements all over my site, all over forums and message boards... I mean, what in the hell happened here? This was supposed to be THE biggest event in BoB history! ...
Tifa: Well... there could be that one thing.
Axl: What... thing?
Tifa: You know... the thing about everybody despising you with a passion?
Axl: Heh, yeah, you're right!
*they high five*
Axl: Well, if I can't get some of BoB's biggest stars of all time to show up... maybe I can get the next best thing.
Tifa: You... you mean?
Axl: Yup. It's time to break out a few bucks, and pay a few talentless hacks to show up! Which... really, is basically the same as paying the talentless BoB roster, only difference is, these guys will actually show up. God bless "card subject to change"...
[And so, Axl made a few calls to some old friends, and put together a line-up at the last minute. Not exactly a card that will shake BoB to its very core, but hey, Axl rented that ring for a purpose, and he's NOT going to let it go to waste!]
:: Wednesday, 4:20 am ::
Axl: Ok guys, you know why you're here. To put on the best show possible, for the thousands and thousands in attendance.
Random Crappy Wrestler: But... dude. There's just about twenty or so chairs out here. And they've got stuffed animals sitting in them. Not exactly what I'd call a packed house... besides, this is a damn backyard!
Axl: Ok, enough with the harrasment. Tifa will be the ref and ring announcer for this event, and I've got my old friend Ben Joss on commentary. And I'll be sitting next to him so I can make sure the action goes down smoothly. The show will be starting in 40 minutes, so you guys just warm up and... stuff. Just don't go inside the house, as... well, I really don't care that much for any of you, and don't want to worry about you filthy jackasses getting your damn dirty hands on any of my good crap. Tifa, you stay out here and keep an eye on them.
Tifa: Sure. ... Wait, huh? Wasn't paying attention.
Axl: WATCH THESE SHMUCKS!!!
Tifa: Aye aye, captain! *under breath* As if...
[Axl eyes Tifa suspicously, before turning on his heel and heading inside the lavish mansion. Axl scratches his head a bit, before-]
*WAM!!!*
[The camera suddenly falls to the ground, along with Axl, who doesn't notice how the camera is positioned, and obviously lifts a packet of ketchup to his mouth. He puts it in between his teeth... before chomping down hard on it, sending "blood" splattering all over the place.]
[The camera picks up two black boots behind Axl, with golden P's etched across the sides. A black baseball bat drops to the ground from the assailant's hands... before the masked person heads out of camera range. Axl slowly reaches over, and grabs the bat in his fist.]
:: 40 minutes later... ::
[We open to the Manor's backyard, where Good ol' Ben Joss is sitting at ringside, with Tifa looking worried inside the ring, wondering what's keeping Axl. After a short time, she heads inside... only to find a black bat and a ketchup... er, BLOOD stain. She shrieks, and runs outside, over to Ben Joss.]
Tifa: Ben! Axl has been mugged! And he's nowhere to be found!
Ben: ... Wait, how do ya know the guy's been mugged if ya ain't even seen him?
Tifa: Well, there was a baseball bat! And a ketchup stain!
Ben: ... A jigga what?
Tifa: I'm telling you, somebody... or some THING, is after Axl!
Ben: Well folks, I've just received a message from backstage. It looks like someone's comin' out tah this here very ring, BAH GAWD!
Tifa: ...
Ben: That's yer cue, young lady.
Tifa: Oh, right.
[Tifa heads over to the stereo, presses play, and "Why Can't This Be Love", by Van Halen plays, as the stuffed animals are going WILD!!! Why, I can hardly fathom, as this is the music of noone from BoB, Axl couldn't be using it as a theme, as... well, he's supposedly knocked out somewhere. And... well, they're a bunch of stuffed animals. Anyway, the Manor's back door opens, and out comes... the man in black. The masked man holds in his hand a black bat, perhaps the same one from the attack on Axl. He heads across the yard, toward the ring, with a black trenchcoat flowing in the wind. The man slides into the ring, and grabs the microphone from Tifa on the outside.]
Man in Black: Mmmphafuffle Eckamp... ...
[The mystery man decides to pull his mask up a bit so he can speak.]
MiB: Ahem. Everyone in BoB is DYING to know just who the hell I am! They're all wondering how I could take down their hero Axl so easily!
Tifa: ... Actually, everyone hates Axl. He's noone's "hero". And really, it's no surprise that you beat him up. I mean... hasn't everybody?
MiB: Well, I think it's time the mystery was revealed! Ladies and gentlemen... this coming Chloroform, Axl faces a man known the world over... as Premlvs... uh... Primullvuss... let's just call him P-man. You see, P-man is not afraid of Axl! No, not in the least! And how would I know, you may ask? Well... it's quite simple. For I am-
[Suddenly, Tifa presses play on the stereo, and "Bust a Move" by Young MC plays, as the Leader of the Rock-O-Lution, Axl VanHalen, emerges through the backdoor, with a face full of ketchup. ... Blood. I meant blood. Axl stares intensely down at the stranger in the ring, before Axl quickly rushes down to the ring, slides in, and stands face to face with the Man in Black.]
Axl: You've got a few questions to answer... first off. WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!?!?!
MiB: YOU WANNA KNOW WHO I AM?! YOU WANNA KNOW... WHO I AM?! Well then... I'll just SHOW you.
[The Man in Black lifts a hand to his mask... the other hand lifted to his trenchcoat. And within a second, both are removed.]
[Leaving one being standing before Axl.]
Axl: ... Jigga WHAT?! Dude... you're... HUH?!
Sheep: Baaah.
Axl: ...
:: Wednesday, 4:20 am ::
[Axl suddenly awakens in bed, his hot pink night gown soaked with sweat. His eyes... bulging from their sockets.]
Axl: God that was a weird dream...
[Axl heads downstairs from his room into the living room, where Tifa has just gotten off the phone.]
Tifa: Well I just called the last guy on your list, and it seems like even THEY have excuses for not showing up. Axl, you really should think about paying those guys for jobbing to you all those times before you think about inviting them to some show in front of a bunch of stuffed animals.
Axl: Tifa... I just had the weirdest of all weird dreams. I dreamed that I was attacked by that guy in black again. And he turned out to be... a sheep.
Tifa: ...
Axl: I'm serious!
Tifa: Axl, get some water. And go to sleep. You need some rest...
Axl: Yeah... you're right. Sorry, babe...
[Axl makes his way toward the kitchen, picking up a glass and filling it with water. But before taking a sip, he glances over at the camera.]
Axl: Premslwhatever! Dude... good job. I know what you've done. You've psyched me out with your little sheep mind games! But babe... that crap just isn't gonna cut it. The Metal God's Metal Rod WILL delve straight into your backside, and rip through your chest! I'm going to nail you HARD... with the Rock-O-Lution Bomb! And not even a dream about a masked sheep attacking me with a baseball bat is going to keep me from bringing your ass crashing down! P-man... I'll see YOU... at Chloroform. Bring your little sheep. I'll send him crashing too, as long as it gets me that much closer to my destiny... The Only... World... Title... That... -
*WAM!*
[The sound of a bat to the spine reverberates through the room.]
[The glass of water tumbles to the floor... and upon impact, shatters into a thousand seperate pieces.]
[The camera follows Axl... down... down... down... as they both end up, laying, motionless, on the floor...]
[In a pool of water... and ketchup- BLOOD! Blood, dammit, BLOOD!]
[And the only other thing in view is a pair of boots... with a golden 'P' written across the side.]
"This beatdown brought to you by the fine folks at Parodyox Inc. , official sponsor of MAYhem in MAYday. See you there, Axl..."
- cut -
Three weeks.
SMP... douja...
I have something very important to tell you both.
...
You're both... OLD!!!
... Ahem.
Ladies and gentlemen. Good evening.
You've seen... that seeing is believing.
Your ears and your eyes? They'll be bleeding.
Please check to see if you're still breathing.
Hold tight, because the show is not over.
If you will, PLEASE... move in closer.
You're about to be bowled over...
By the wonders you're about to behold here.
Welcome... to the show.
Please. Come inside.
Ladies... and gentlemen.
====================================
For eight years. A promotion, that was once a small time, untelevised, poorly run company that held their shows in school gyms... has slowly... but surely, lifted itself from the doldrums. Brawlers on a Budget. Now, a small time, poorly run company that airs on Comedy Central at 3 am, running events from a casino. Yes, BoB has finally reached the pinnacle of the sports entertainment landscape. ... Or... well, atleast, as high as it's going to reach. Which isn't that far at all. But hey, atleast they're not dead like 80% of the e-feds that have existed since 1999. On life support? HELL YES, SEND US MONEY, NOW! ... But dead? ... Uhm... oh, no, no, not dead. Sorta... had to think about that one.
Brawlers on a Budget has witnessed some of the strangest occurances in the history of proffesional wrestling. Things that would make the angles WCW played host to seem absolutely ordinary. From championships winning themselves, to washing machines winning battle royales, to disembodied voices becoming one of the most recognizable characters on the program, to the Pope himself facing off in the squared circle. BoB has had a long and storied history. One that may be filled with more plot holes and needless twists and turns than a Vince Russo storyline... but through it all, BoB has managed to entertain. Well... to entertain those that have actually went to a show or stayed up till 3 in the morning to watch wrestling on Comedy Central. And the S.U.M.'s. SEND US MONEY, I SAID!!! ...
But... tonight. Tonight... is a night that could very well change the course of BoB history... forever. For tonight, one man, the infamous Metal God and Swiss Army Belt Champion himself, Axl VanHalen, has taken it upon himself to ressurect an event created by two men. The aforementioned Vince Russo, and his protege; Reeve Gordon. But this time, Axl has vowed to bring together the best of the best BoB superstars... both past, AND present. Don't believe me? The card itself speaks volumes as to how far this very event could take BoB into a direction it's never been... away from the gutter. And into the hearts, minds, and souls of every last man, woman and child across the nation. By tomorrow, Brawlers on a Budget could very well be a household name. The card, as it stands:
Kurt Angel, Rob Van Spam, douja, Alan Qaida vs Death, Lord Athackkimentham, Uber Vampire Warrior, Lord Lestat Von Sexbat
Peter "X Factor" Trable and The Snapmare Kid vs The Undietaker and the Undietaker - Six Sides of Electrified Triple Steel Cage Hell in an Annhilation Chamber Tag Team Tornado Table Match of Much Sports Entertainment
"Slightly Gay" Ray vs Double Gay - Flaming Queer Death Dildo on a Pole Match
Wayne and Garth vs Travis and BoBhead vs BoB newcomers: Bill and Ted - Triple Threat Tag to crown brand new "You Gotta Have Friends" Champions
Billy Polar vs Patrick Fitzgerald and Gerald Fitzpatrick - Typical Handicap Squash Match Used to Build Monster Heat... even though Polar's technically retired. As are Pat and Gerry...
Captain Twilight vs Captain Comb Over vs Captain Whacked vs Captain Obvious - Captain America Tribute 4-Way Dance
Dyslexic Avenger vs BoB newcomer: Obsessive Compulsive Avenger - First Ever "Hey, Don't Forget About Us Avengers, You Captain Fanatics!" Match
Premslwvk vs Bobo Q. Fiendish vs Sir Ronald Killalot vs Billy Polar vs Bohemoth vs Trey Vincent vs Hardcore JJ vs Coma vs Massive Man Rendition First vs Violent Pacifist vs Sarah "The Jobber Slayer" vs Axl VanHalen - 12 Person Gauntlet Match for OWTTM #1 Contendership
Sillacone M. Plants vs a whole bunch of random jobbers - Very Special "SMP's going to lose, and he's going to lose BAD!" Match
OWTTM: Sir Zeno vs Axl VanHalen ... er, #1 Contender from 12 Person Gauntlet [could very well be anyone besides Axl. I mean... Premslwhatever! Yeah!]
Looks good, doesn't it? You KNOW it does! So without further adieu, ladies and gentlemen... welcome. To WrassleMania... 2007!!!
====================================
:: Wednesday, May 2nd, 2007 - 1:30 a.m. ::
~ Location: The Middle of Nowhere... outside. ~
[The camera opens to the backyard of Axl VanHalen's Metal Manor. A ring has been set up, along with a few seats on either side. A stereo is set up on a tv-tray. And the only two people within the vicinity are Axl and Tifa.]
Axl: Uhm... Tifa?
Tifa: Yeah?
Axl: Where the hell is everybody?
Tifa: Well... it IS 1:30 in the morning...
Axl: Yeah. Thing is, the show was supposed to start last NIGHT! At 7:30 pm!!! I sent every single guy on the card an invite... I posted advertisements all over my site, all over forums and message boards... I mean, what in the hell happened here? This was supposed to be THE biggest event in BoB history! ...
Tifa: Well... there could be that one thing.
Axl: What... thing?
Tifa: You know... the thing about everybody despising you with a passion?
Axl: Heh, yeah, you're right!
*they high five*
Axl: Well, if I can't get some of BoB's biggest stars of all time to show up... maybe I can get the next best thing.
Tifa: You... you mean?
Axl: Yup. It's time to break out a few bucks, and pay a few talentless hacks to show up! Which... really, is basically the same as paying the talentless BoB roster, only difference is, these guys will actually show up. God bless "card subject to change"...
[And so, Axl made a few calls to some old friends, and put together a line-up at the last minute. Not exactly a card that will shake BoB to its very core, but hey, Axl rented that ring for a purpose, and he's NOT going to let it go to waste!]
:: Wednesday, 4:20 am ::
Axl: Ok guys, you know why you're here. To put on the best show possible, for the thousands and thousands in attendance.
Random Crappy Wrestler: But... dude. There's just about twenty or so chairs out here. And they've got stuffed animals sitting in them. Not exactly what I'd call a packed house... besides, this is a damn backyard!
Axl: Ok, enough with the harrasment. Tifa will be the ref and ring announcer for this event, and I've got my old friend Ben Joss on commentary. And I'll be sitting next to him so I can make sure the action goes down smoothly. The show will be starting in 40 minutes, so you guys just warm up and... stuff. Just don't go inside the house, as... well, I really don't care that much for any of you, and don't want to worry about you filthy jackasses getting your damn dirty hands on any of my good crap. Tifa, you stay out here and keep an eye on them.
Tifa: Sure. ... Wait, huh? Wasn't paying attention.
Axl: WATCH THESE SHMUCKS!!!
Tifa: Aye aye, captain! *under breath* As if...
[Axl eyes Tifa suspicously, before turning on his heel and heading inside the lavish mansion. Axl scratches his head a bit, before-]
*WAM!!!*
[The camera suddenly falls to the ground, along with Axl, who doesn't notice how the camera is positioned, and obviously lifts a packet of ketchup to his mouth. He puts it in between his teeth... before chomping down hard on it, sending "blood" splattering all over the place.]
[The camera picks up two black boots behind Axl, with golden P's etched across the sides. A black baseball bat drops to the ground from the assailant's hands... before the masked person heads out of camera range. Axl slowly reaches over, and grabs the bat in his fist.]
:: 40 minutes later... ::
[We open to the Manor's backyard, where Good ol' Ben Joss is sitting at ringside, with Tifa looking worried inside the ring, wondering what's keeping Axl. After a short time, she heads inside... only to find a black bat and a ketchup... er, BLOOD stain. She shrieks, and runs outside, over to Ben Joss.]
Tifa: Ben! Axl has been mugged! And he's nowhere to be found!
Ben: ... Wait, how do ya know the guy's been mugged if ya ain't even seen him?
Tifa: Well, there was a baseball bat! And a ketchup stain!
Ben: ... A jigga what?
Tifa: I'm telling you, somebody... or some THING, is after Axl!
Ben: Well folks, I've just received a message from backstage. It looks like someone's comin' out tah this here very ring, BAH GAWD!
Tifa: ...
Ben: That's yer cue, young lady.
Tifa: Oh, right.
[Tifa heads over to the stereo, presses play, and "Why Can't This Be Love", by Van Halen plays, as the stuffed animals are going WILD!!! Why, I can hardly fathom, as this is the music of noone from BoB, Axl couldn't be using it as a theme, as... well, he's supposedly knocked out somewhere. And... well, they're a bunch of stuffed animals. Anyway, the Manor's back door opens, and out comes... the man in black. The masked man holds in his hand a black bat, perhaps the same one from the attack on Axl. He heads across the yard, toward the ring, with a black trenchcoat flowing in the wind. The man slides into the ring, and grabs the microphone from Tifa on the outside.]
Man in Black: Mmmphafuffle Eckamp... ...
[The mystery man decides to pull his mask up a bit so he can speak.]
MiB: Ahem. Everyone in BoB is DYING to know just who the hell I am! They're all wondering how I could take down their hero Axl so easily!
Tifa: ... Actually, everyone hates Axl. He's noone's "hero". And really, it's no surprise that you beat him up. I mean... hasn't everybody?
MiB: Well, I think it's time the mystery was revealed! Ladies and gentlemen... this coming Chloroform, Axl faces a man known the world over... as Premlvs... uh... Primullvuss... let's just call him P-man. You see, P-man is not afraid of Axl! No, not in the least! And how would I know, you may ask? Well... it's quite simple. For I am-
[Suddenly, Tifa presses play on the stereo, and "Bust a Move" by Young MC plays, as the Leader of the Rock-O-Lution, Axl VanHalen, emerges through the backdoor, with a face full of ketchup. ... Blood. I meant blood. Axl stares intensely down at the stranger in the ring, before Axl quickly rushes down to the ring, slides in, and stands face to face with the Man in Black.]
Axl: You've got a few questions to answer... first off. WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!?!?!
MiB: YOU WANNA KNOW WHO I AM?! YOU WANNA KNOW... WHO I AM?! Well then... I'll just SHOW you.
[The Man in Black lifts a hand to his mask... the other hand lifted to his trenchcoat. And within a second, both are removed.]
[Leaving one being standing before Axl.]
Axl: ... Jigga WHAT?! Dude... you're... HUH?!
Sheep: Baaah.
Axl: ...
:: Wednesday, 4:20 am ::
[Axl suddenly awakens in bed, his hot pink night gown soaked with sweat. His eyes... bulging from their sockets.]
Axl: God that was a weird dream...
[Axl heads downstairs from his room into the living room, where Tifa has just gotten off the phone.]
Tifa: Well I just called the last guy on your list, and it seems like even THEY have excuses for not showing up. Axl, you really should think about paying those guys for jobbing to you all those times before you think about inviting them to some show in front of a bunch of stuffed animals.
Axl: Tifa... I just had the weirdest of all weird dreams. I dreamed that I was attacked by that guy in black again. And he turned out to be... a sheep.
Tifa: ...
Axl: I'm serious!
Tifa: Axl, get some water. And go to sleep. You need some rest...
Axl: Yeah... you're right. Sorry, babe...
[Axl makes his way toward the kitchen, picking up a glass and filling it with water. But before taking a sip, he glances over at the camera.]
Axl: Premslwhatever! Dude... good job. I know what you've done. You've psyched me out with your little sheep mind games! But babe... that crap just isn't gonna cut it. The Metal God's Metal Rod WILL delve straight into your backside, and rip through your chest! I'm going to nail you HARD... with the Rock-O-Lution Bomb! And not even a dream about a masked sheep attacking me with a baseball bat is going to keep me from bringing your ass crashing down! P-man... I'll see YOU... at Chloroform. Bring your little sheep. I'll send him crashing too, as long as it gets me that much closer to my destiny... The Only... World... Title... That... -
*WAM!*
[The sound of a bat to the spine reverberates through the room.]
[The glass of water tumbles to the floor... and upon impact, shatters into a thousand seperate pieces.]
[The camera follows Axl... down... down... down... as they both end up, laying, motionless, on the floor...]
[In a pool of water... and ketchup- BLOOD! Blood, dammit, BLOOD!]
[And the only other thing in view is a pair of boots... with a golden 'P' written across the side.]
"This beatdown brought to you by the fine folks at Parodyox Inc. , official sponsor of MAYhem in MAYday. See you there, Axl..."
- cut -