Post by Steve Studnuts on Mar 27, 2009 22:19:42 GMT -5
~~~Steve Studnuts is at home reading the booking sheet for iMPLOSION! 19, well actually...he had Connie Lingus read it to him because he was too damn lazy to give a shit.~~~
Studs: What the fuck? WHO?
Connie: Christian St. Christian.
Studs: Is that the motherfucker that has tin foil on his fuckin’ head?
Connie: No. That’s Human Foreign Object.
Studs: Oh fuck me. Not the guy that looks like the fuckin’ Creature from the Black Lagoon.
Connie: Yeah, so his roster pic needs some work, but his internal picture once you click his roster link looks a lot better. All leather and not so Black Lagoonish.
Studs: The dude’s a fuckin’ gimp?
Connie: You act like you don’t know who he is.
Studs: You actually think I do? I mean, come on… I’ve seen his picture on the gatdamn site and all but it’s not like I talk to the motherfucker. He runs around with that jerkweed that’s covered with shit. Why would I hang with those fucks?
Connie: Did you say covered with shit? You’re such an asshole.
Studs: No….I’m fuckin’ serious. The guy… is covered….with shit. Which reminds me, who booked that gatdamn tournament? How the hell can Trey Vincent make me a sixth seed and Scatman is a fuckin’ three seed? Did anybody research this? I mean, seriously, there could actually be a guy holdin’ BOB’s biggest title, a man THAT’S FUCKIN’ COVERED WITH SHIT.
~~~Steve pauses for dramatic effect.~~~
Studs: Think about that for a minute. Let it sink in. A guy that’s covered with shit could be THE ONLY WORLD CHAMPION THAT MATTERS. Fuckin’ Kansas is winnin’….
Connie: What’s the big deal? Didn’t you say the same thing about Axl when he won it?
Studs: No….that’s shit covered with guy. Big difference.
Connie: Well whatever. You better get to know Christian St. Christian, he’s your tag-team partner and you two have a NGETFA title match.
Studs: Fuckin’ bucket… I hate random draws. But I do like the bucket when I’m bashin’ Trey’s skull in with it. That’s right, Vincent… I bucket fucked your cranium until I got tired of beatin’ it… and the only reason I got tired was because I had just got finished stabbin’ Vicky Jean’s guts with my dick.
Connie: WHAT?!
Studs: Umm. It’s an insider wrestlin’ term, like takin’ a “bump” and lettin’ a babyface get “shine”. It just sounds like I fucked her, but it really means I’m callin’ a spot for Trey’s and my next encounter where I go through a table.
Connie: Oh, okay. You must think I’m really stupid. A table? You don’t take bumps on tables.
Studs: Heh. I’m expandin’ my repertoire.
~~~Steve gives Connie a look like he really can’t believe she’s that fucking stupid.~~~
Studs: So anyway, Trey… why do think Vicky Jean was so horny and dancin’ around you like a bitch in heat? ’Cause she WAS, my boy! I didn’t even give her a courtesy clit rub. Bang and shoot and I was out.
Kinda like what I did to you with that gatdamn bucket, Trey. And it ain’t over, either. This son of a bitch is just gettin’ started.
Connie: Why are you still talking about Trey? What about The Great and Pete Trable and the tag-team title match?
Studs: Fuck it. It’s all about Trey… but maybe I’ll pick up some tag straps along the fuckin’ way. Even with a motherfucker as a tag-team partner that looks like a fuckin’ trash bag with arms and legs. Ya dig?
Ooooh, hold up! I’m outta here, Michigan State has made a comeback….
~~~static~~~
Studs: What the fuck? WHO?
Connie: Christian St. Christian.
Studs: Is that the motherfucker that has tin foil on his fuckin’ head?
Connie: No. That’s Human Foreign Object.
Studs: Oh fuck me. Not the guy that looks like the fuckin’ Creature from the Black Lagoon.
Connie: Yeah, so his roster pic needs some work, but his internal picture once you click his roster link looks a lot better. All leather and not so Black Lagoonish.
Studs: The dude’s a fuckin’ gimp?
Connie: You act like you don’t know who he is.
Studs: You actually think I do? I mean, come on… I’ve seen his picture on the gatdamn site and all but it’s not like I talk to the motherfucker. He runs around with that jerkweed that’s covered with shit. Why would I hang with those fucks?
Connie: Did you say covered with shit? You’re such an asshole.
Studs: No….I’m fuckin’ serious. The guy… is covered….with shit. Which reminds me, who booked that gatdamn tournament? How the hell can Trey Vincent make me a sixth seed and Scatman is a fuckin’ three seed? Did anybody research this? I mean, seriously, there could actually be a guy holdin’ BOB’s biggest title, a man THAT’S FUCKIN’ COVERED WITH SHIT.
~~~Steve pauses for dramatic effect.~~~
Studs: Think about that for a minute. Let it sink in. A guy that’s covered with shit could be THE ONLY WORLD CHAMPION THAT MATTERS. Fuckin’ Kansas is winnin’….
Connie: What’s the big deal? Didn’t you say the same thing about Axl when he won it?
Studs: No….that’s shit covered with guy. Big difference.
Connie: Well whatever. You better get to know Christian St. Christian, he’s your tag-team partner and you two have a NGETFA title match.
Studs: Fuckin’ bucket… I hate random draws. But I do like the bucket when I’m bashin’ Trey’s skull in with it. That’s right, Vincent… I bucket fucked your cranium until I got tired of beatin’ it… and the only reason I got tired was because I had just got finished stabbin’ Vicky Jean’s guts with my dick.
Connie: WHAT?!
Studs: Umm. It’s an insider wrestlin’ term, like takin’ a “bump” and lettin’ a babyface get “shine”. It just sounds like I fucked her, but it really means I’m callin’ a spot for Trey’s and my next encounter where I go through a table.
Connie: Oh, okay. You must think I’m really stupid. A table? You don’t take bumps on tables.
Studs: Heh. I’m expandin’ my repertoire.
~~~Steve gives Connie a look like he really can’t believe she’s that fucking stupid.~~~
Studs: So anyway, Trey… why do think Vicky Jean was so horny and dancin’ around you like a bitch in heat? ’Cause she WAS, my boy! I didn’t even give her a courtesy clit rub. Bang and shoot and I was out.
Kinda like what I did to you with that gatdamn bucket, Trey. And it ain’t over, either. This son of a bitch is just gettin’ started.
Connie: Why are you still talking about Trey? What about The Great and Pete Trable and the tag-team title match?
Studs: Fuck it. It’s all about Trey… but maybe I’ll pick up some tag straps along the fuckin’ way. Even with a motherfucker as a tag-team partner that looks like a fuckin’ trash bag with arms and legs. Ya dig?
Ooooh, hold up! I’m outta here, Michigan State has made a comeback….
~~~static~~~
