Post by stchristian on Mar 21, 2009 16:42:22 GMT -5
[Scatman is chowing down on sleeping pills, penis enlargement pills, jelly beans, aspirin and a couple of toy soldiers. "People = Shit" by Slipknot is being played on a stereo system set to repeat. He ate some mushrooms he found earlier under his right armpit and is enjoying his bad trip. This guy obviously gets more of a kick out of Satan than leprechauns.]
Scatman: Hail in the wind! Baton down the hatches, it’s gardening time!
[He starts twirling a stick in his hand like a cheerleader whilst grinding his teeth together.]
Scatman: Hail in the wind! Hail in the cyclone!
[Satan, who apparently looks like a melting bull elephant with three dozen eyes (funny, he always appeared as Osama in my trips), speaks to Scatman.]
Satan: Mr. Hands…
Scatman: It’s Scatman.
Satan: Dude from Kids In A Sandbox…
Scatman: It’s Scatman!
Satan: Weird tranny from Putrid Sex Object…
Scatman: It’s Scatman!!
Satan: That guy with the world’s loudest orgasm…
Scatman: It’s Scatman motherfucker!!!
Satan: Fine, Sandman, whatever.
Scatman: SCATman!!!!
Satan: Scatman… to truly be a vile being fit for the work of Satan you must make your very own viral video in the vein of the sickos I mentioned earlier.
[Scatman just kinda looks into the camera, shit dripping off him.]
Scatman: Ok?
[Satan turns into Jerri Li.]
Jerri: To truly truly be fit for Satan, you must make me fall in love with you.
Scatman: Why? You hurt people and yourself, but that’s hardly evil. I asked if you wanted to go surprise some old ladies by vomiting on them from behind in the supermarket and you just kinda shrugged the idea off. How the fuck can anyone shrug something like that off?!
[Satan looks into the camera, despite being a figment of Scatman’s hallucination.]
Satan: Maybe you do belong in hell.
Scatman: This isn’t hell?! I thought that was what tripping out was for. Like that song ‘two tickets to paradise’ only, ya know, to hell.
[Satan disappears and a bunch of leprechauns takes his place and start throwing shit about like a group of monkeys.]
Scatman: That’s more like it!
Scatman: Hail in the wind! Baton down the hatches, it’s gardening time!
[He starts twirling a stick in his hand like a cheerleader whilst grinding his teeth together.]
Scatman: Hail in the wind! Hail in the cyclone!
[Satan, who apparently looks like a melting bull elephant with three dozen eyes (funny, he always appeared as Osama in my trips), speaks to Scatman.]
Satan: Mr. Hands…
Scatman: It’s Scatman.
Satan: Dude from Kids In A Sandbox…
Scatman: It’s Scatman!
Satan: Weird tranny from Putrid Sex Object…
Scatman: It’s Scatman!!
Satan: That guy with the world’s loudest orgasm…
Scatman: It’s Scatman motherfucker!!!
Satan: Fine, Sandman, whatever.
Scatman: SCATman!!!!
Satan: Scatman… to truly be a vile being fit for the work of Satan you must make your very own viral video in the vein of the sickos I mentioned earlier.
[Scatman just kinda looks into the camera, shit dripping off him.]
Scatman: Ok?
[Satan turns into Jerri Li.]
Jerri: To truly truly be fit for Satan, you must make me fall in love with you.
Scatman: Why? You hurt people and yourself, but that’s hardly evil. I asked if you wanted to go surprise some old ladies by vomiting on them from behind in the supermarket and you just kinda shrugged the idea off. How the fuck can anyone shrug something like that off?!
[Satan looks into the camera, despite being a figment of Scatman’s hallucination.]
Satan: Maybe you do belong in hell.
Scatman: This isn’t hell?! I thought that was what tripping out was for. Like that song ‘two tickets to paradise’ only, ya know, to hell.
[Satan disappears and a bunch of leprechauns takes his place and start throwing shit about like a group of monkeys.]
Scatman: That’s more like it!