Post by THE GREAT on Mar 20, 2009 10:44:29 GMT -5
(Open to a large map covering your television screen. There’s a red dot in the lower right side of Missouri labeled “St. Louis”. The only other dot on the map is another red one labeled “Sin City” in Nevada. A checkered red line leaves St. Louis and works itself across the map to Sin City, shoddily simulating a flight from one to the other. It’s apparent this technology was courtesy of The Great’s 10 year old son, Nick.
Cut to Sin City Airport, where several kids have assembled around Cyborg Angelina X. Not surprisingly, their fathers have also assembled as Angelina’s Stephen F. Austin jersey struggles to restrain her Pamela Anderson bosom. The Great and Pete Trable are looking at their boarding passes and talking.)
The Great: Well Pete, Total Non Action Wrestling iMPLOSION! 18 is in the books. You and The Great werefortunate to retain the tag-team titles fortunate to be victorious.
Pete: Yo? You kiddin’? Yo plan was on point! After I saw dat Trey Vincent was gon be Studnuts partna, shoot. I thought Aunt Bea was gon turn off dat oven ‘cause we be cooked, yo. But yo plan wit C-Angie X and tha doobie poundin’ saved tha day.
The Great: Pete? The Great feels like you lost whatever street cred you had with an Andy Griffith show reference.
Pete: Wha? Yo, A-Griff tha shizzle, dawg! Barney Fife? He da man! I be usin’ Barney in my rap since way back in tha day. And Opie? Shoot, dat small time G was workin’ Andy ev-ry time he turn around! He neva gots in ANY trouble! A true playa! He my hero.
The Great: The Great says you now have zero street cred.
(A small boy walks up to the duo.)
Boy: Neat robot! Does it do tricks?
Pete: I think it turned a trick last night, yo.
Boy: Huh?
The Great: The robot does not do tricks. Pete, you know the robot didn’t quite pay-up on yours and The Great’s deal just yet.
Boy: Does it talk?
The Great: Yes. The robot talks. But technically, The Great says this is a cyborg because it’s partially covered by a synthetic skin to cover its protective alloy frame.
Boy: Yeah, my dad called it hooters.
The Great: The Great is embarrassed.
Boy: Make it talk!
The Great: Just look at the cyborg and talk to it, it will respond.
Boy: (Looks at Cyborg Angelina X) Talk you robot!
(Cyborg Angelina X’s t.v. head screen lights up.)
tts.imtranslator.net/3YGi
The Great: Ummmm. The Great apologizes for that.
Pete: Yo,dawg--- Dat won’t cool even by a lil’ bit.
Boy: DADDY! The robot said tits!
Father: (from across the boarding area) GET OVER HERE, BOY!
(The Great and Pete looks around nervously, and then at each other.)
The Great: The Great is thinking yours and The Great’s airplanes need to hurry and board for so you and The Great can get to the sites for March Mayhem tournament matches.
Pete: Heard dat!
tts.imtranslator.net/3YHD
Pete: Yo! Can you unplug dat thing or sumthin’? And what up wit Da Fantastics jumpin’ all up in our bizzleness? And yo, I was gon axe you about Sarah, dawg. You hittin’ dat?
The Great: The Great doesn’t know which is worse, Cyborg Angelina X or you.
Pete: Wha? Don’t acts like you don’t know what I’m sayin’, know what I’m sayin’? You creepin’ on tha old lady? Side trimmin’? Steppin’ out? Gettin’ some strange stank?
The Great: The Great says this not the time to discuss this.
Pete: YO! Sarah was all up on yo tip durin’ commentary! You gots a fillet around da way! Girl down tha street, yep, yep.
The Great: Pete, you’re making something out of nothing. Sarah just seems unhappy in her current relationship. The Great is a married man. The Great is forbidden fruit. Men are much more desirable when they’re unattainable. The Great has had more offers when The Great was married than when The Great was single. Women do that, it’s what they can’t have that make them want it more.
Pete: Huh? No shizzle you gots mo' offas afta you gots balled an' chained, dawg. You knocked up yo boo when you was 15! You speakin’ jibber-jabba, yo! Just get wit it an' hit it.
The Great: Shut up, Pete.
OVERHEAD P.A.: NOW BOARDING. FLIGHT 316.
Pete: Dats me, yo! Here I come, Eliza! Good luck wit yo match, dawg---- and we ain’t finished wit dis Sarah convo, ya heard? See ya at tha Final Fo', neegrow!
(Pete picks up his luggage and walks off.)
The Great: Sarah. Oh, she’s a lovely Sarah.
OVERHEAD P.A.: NOW BOARDING. FLIGHT 619.
The Great: That’s The Great’s flight. The Great trusts that you can find your own way to your bracket, Cyborg Angelina X.
tts.imtranslator.net/3YJp
The Great: The Great highly doubts that.
(The Great pulls out a picture of Sarah)
The Great: Ahhhh. (sigh)
(The Great and Cyborg Angelina X head to their planes.)
Cut to Sin City Airport, where several kids have assembled around Cyborg Angelina X. Not surprisingly, their fathers have also assembled as Angelina’s Stephen F. Austin jersey struggles to restrain her Pamela Anderson bosom. The Great and Pete Trable are looking at their boarding passes and talking.)
The Great: Well Pete, Total Non Action Wrestling iMPLOSION! 18 is in the books. You and The Great were
Pete: Yo? You kiddin’? Yo plan was on point! After I saw dat Trey Vincent was gon be Studnuts partna, shoot. I thought Aunt Bea was gon turn off dat oven ‘cause we be cooked, yo. But yo plan wit C-Angie X and tha doobie poundin’ saved tha day.
The Great: Pete? The Great feels like you lost whatever street cred you had with an Andy Griffith show reference.
Pete: Wha? Yo, A-Griff tha shizzle, dawg! Barney Fife? He da man! I be usin’ Barney in my rap since way back in tha day. And Opie? Shoot, dat small time G was workin’ Andy ev-ry time he turn around! He neva gots in ANY trouble! A true playa! He my hero.
The Great: The Great says you now have zero street cred.
(A small boy walks up to the duo.)
Boy: Neat robot! Does it do tricks?
Pete: I think it turned a trick last night, yo.
Boy: Huh?
The Great: The robot does not do tricks. Pete, you know the robot didn’t quite pay-up on yours and The Great’s deal just yet.
Boy: Does it talk?
The Great: Yes. The robot talks. But technically, The Great says this is a cyborg because it’s partially covered by a synthetic skin to cover its protective alloy frame.
Boy: Yeah, my dad called it hooters.
The Great: The Great is embarrassed.
Boy: Make it talk!
The Great: Just look at the cyborg and talk to it, it will respond.
Boy: (Looks at Cyborg Angelina X) Talk you robot!
(Cyborg Angelina X’s t.v. head screen lights up.)
tts.imtranslator.net/3YGi
The Great: Ummmm. The Great apologizes for that.
Pete: Yo,dawg--- Dat won’t cool even by a lil’ bit.
Boy: DADDY! The robot said tits!
Father: (from across the boarding area) GET OVER HERE, BOY!
(The Great and Pete looks around nervously, and then at each other.)
The Great: The Great is thinking yours and The Great’s airplanes need to hurry and board for so you and The Great can get to the sites for March Mayhem tournament matches.
Pete: Heard dat!
tts.imtranslator.net/3YHD
Pete: Yo! Can you unplug dat thing or sumthin’? And what up wit Da Fantastics jumpin’ all up in our bizzleness? And yo, I was gon axe you about Sarah, dawg. You hittin’ dat?
The Great: The Great doesn’t know which is worse, Cyborg Angelina X or you.
Pete: Wha? Don’t acts like you don’t know what I’m sayin’, know what I’m sayin’? You creepin’ on tha old lady? Side trimmin’? Steppin’ out? Gettin’ some strange stank?
The Great: The Great says this not the time to discuss this.
Pete: YO! Sarah was all up on yo tip durin’ commentary! You gots a fillet around da way! Girl down tha street, yep, yep.
The Great: Pete, you’re making something out of nothing. Sarah just seems unhappy in her current relationship. The Great is a married man. The Great is forbidden fruit. Men are much more desirable when they’re unattainable. The Great has had more offers when The Great was married than when The Great was single. Women do that, it’s what they can’t have that make them want it more.
Pete: Huh? No shizzle you gots mo' offas afta you gots balled an' chained, dawg. You knocked up yo boo when you was 15! You speakin’ jibber-jabba, yo! Just get wit it an' hit it.
The Great: Shut up, Pete.
OVERHEAD P.A.: NOW BOARDING. FLIGHT 316.
Pete: Dats me, yo! Here I come, Eliza! Good luck wit yo match, dawg---- and we ain’t finished wit dis Sarah convo, ya heard? See ya at tha Final Fo', neegrow!
(Pete picks up his luggage and walks off.)
The Great: Sarah. Oh, she’s a lovely Sarah.
OVERHEAD P.A.: NOW BOARDING. FLIGHT 619.
The Great: That’s The Great’s flight. The Great trusts that you can find your own way to your bracket, Cyborg Angelina X.
tts.imtranslator.net/3YJp
The Great: The Great highly doubts that.
(The Great pulls out a picture of Sarah)
The Great: Ahhhh. (sigh)
(The Great and Cyborg Angelina X head to their planes.)