Race to March Mayhem Mountain

[[Sir Zeno]]

*At an airport, [Sir Zeno] was seen waiting for a cab. He had several human-sized suitcases with him. Some of them were even moving. Zeno pulled out his sword and began hitting the bags with the handle.*

[SZ]: Why...won't...you...stay...unconscious?

*Once the bags are unmoving again, [Zeno] successfully hails a cab. The driver gets out and begins helping [Zeno] load up the cab.*

Cab Driver: Where to, jabroney?

*[Zeno] did a doubletake.*

[SZ]: The Domino?

Cab Driver: The Domino goes by "Wayne" these days. Those days are behind The Domino.

[SZ]: Are they now?

Cab Driver: The Domino says they're behind The Domino!

[SZ]: Yeah, you sure showed me.

*[Zeno] rolls his eyes. They finish loading and hit the road.*

[SZ]: I'm heading to BOB March Mayhem 2009. Do you know where that is?

Domino: It doesn't matter if the Domino knows where March Mayhem 2009 is, jabroney! Don't make The Domino turn this taxicab around, then turn it sideways and shove it straight up your brackety ass!

*[Zeno] consults his March Mayhem brackets.*

[SZ]: Says here you're gonna be facing Axl.

Domino: The Domino is gonna lay the Mayhem on his monkey ass! He's gonna take his left boot. Step on a glass filled with dookie and vomit. Then he's gonna take his right foot. Step in Courtney Love's panties. Turn that sumbitch sideways, and stick it straight up his grungy ass! Hey, look, we're right near the corner of Domino Rally Drive and Tip Over Avenue. The Domino lives near here, jabroney.

[SZ]: You realize you can never truly escape from BOB. Violent Pacifist, Billy Polar, Jim, Brandon and Josh were no match for me. Speaking of which, I hope your trunk is well ventilated.

The Domino: FINALLY….THE DOMINO….HAS….brought you to your destination. Now KNOW YOUR ROLE, and PAY YOUR CABBIE!

[SZ]: You will wrestle Axl. Jabroney.

*[Zeno] exits the cab, pulls out his katana, and slashes the nearest tire. Then the next. Then the other two. As The Domino surveys the damage, all while making cartoonishly exaggerated faces, [Zeno] grabs his bags of unconscious BOBsters.*

The Flunky: Hey, Zeno.

[SZ]: Do you suspect a thing?

The Flunky: A thing about what?

[SZ]: Nothing. What were you saying?

The Flunky: A bunch of crates have arrived from all over the country, all addressed to you for some reason.

[SZ]: Yes. They all belong in the March Mayhem tournament. I hope my bubble wrapping didn't suffocate too many of them.

The Flunky: Thanks for doing this.

[SZ]: Oh, it's the least I could do. After all, I'm trying to turn a new leaf here in BOB. Now start opening the crates. Release the jobbers!

*The Domino runs in.*

Domino: You're going to pay for those damages, jabroney!

[SZ]: Sure. All you have to do is win the tournament.

Domino: Oh, The Domino will, jabroney. Don't think The Domino won't, jabroney. Because The Domino WILL, jabroney. IF YA SMELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL.

*[Zeno] grabs Domino and hits the Eternal Question on him.*

[SZ]: If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?