Post by Steve Studnuts on Mar 12, 2009 9:31:51 GMT -5
~~~Steve Studnuts is pacing his living room in Phoenix, Arizona. He looks slightly perturbed. Alright, he’s more like pissed off. Steve doesn’t waste any time and goes right to the ranting, baby! ~~~
Studs: Axl, you motherfucker. I just got finished watchin’ your promo, jerkweed. Let me ask you this, do you have a fuckin’ death wish or somethin’? Seriously, dude. What the fuck is your major malfunction, numb nuts?
Oh, you wanna come out and make the galaxians believe you don’t wanna fight me because YOU’LL WIN and deny me my match with Trey Vincent at fuckin’ MEGABRAWL III? Is that a fuckin’ joke?
Listen up, faggot… the reason you don’t want any of this, in reality, is because you know I’ll beat the shit out of you and then make you eat it. THEN, I’ll break your fuckin’ back and bend you backwards around so you can watch yourself shit your own eaten shit eye to big brown eye. Ya dig?
~~~Steve shakes his head in disbelief.~~~
Studs: Really? You really think YOU can beat ME? I could chop off my fuckin’ legs, chop off my fuckin’ arms, wrap a gatdamn Ziploc baggie over my head until I suffocate to death, have the gatdamn Flunky wheel me to the fuckin’ ring in a fuckin’ crate, roll my dead torso into the fuckin’ ring, and STILL whip your gatdamn ass into a bloody fuckin’ stump.
And THAT, jerkweed…. IS A FACT!
I’ll get my match with Trey because this son-of-gatdamn-bitch has been brewin’ since ’01. We’ve known each other this long and have never sports entertained against the other. It’s a dream match, motherfucker. What? Did you think YOU were gonna headline MEGABRAWL III? Pffffft! Maybe if we were going for a wrestling show where NO FUCKIN’ GALAXIANS SHOWED UP.
~~~Steve stops himself for a second.~~~
Studs: Why the fuck are we callin’ BOB fans “galaxians” any fuckin’ way?
~~~Steve shakes the cobwebs and continues…~~~
Studs: Okay, meat. I’ll give you your fuckin’ props on your last bit. It was way less stupid than most of the other shit you do and slightly entertainin’. Especially for a non-entertainin’ motherfucker such as yourself.
Too bad you had to rip off my SPACEDICK gimmick to finally do somethin’ watchable. Ya know what? Maybe not! Keep stealin’ my shit so it’ll be good enough for me to fuckin’ watch it. Ya dig?
Which reminds me.
~~~Steve walks over to his computer.~~~
8========D: HELLO AGAIN, YOU GIMMICK STEALING FAG JIZZ GULPER! YOU KNOW, IT’S A KNOWN FACT THAT I STOLE THIS SHIT FROM SPACEDUCK AND SPACECOP. BUT SO THE FUCK WHAT? I’M THE TYPE OF MOTHERFUCKER THAT CAN PULL IT OFF.
YOU CAN’T EVEN GET THIS MICHAEL SPACE VICK MOTHERFUCKER RIGHT.
:^()
WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? DOES THAT MOTHERFUCKER LOOK BLACK TO YOU? HIS NOSE IS WAY TOO FUCKING POINTY AND HIS LIPS AIN’T NEAR BIG ENOUGH.
8----()()
THERE YA GO. FLAT NOSE AND FULL LIPS. YOU CAN’T EVEN DO YOUR OWN SHIT RIGHT. I MUST ADMIT THOUGH, MIXED MARTIAL-BARKS WAS PRETTY GOOD. BUT YOU FUCKED UP WHEN YOU WERE POSING AS ME AND SAID I HAD A FUCKIN’ DOG NAMED WHAT? FUCKING SHAFTY? WHAT WAS IT? I DON’T HAVE A FUCKING DOG NAMED SHAFTY AND IF I DID I’D HAVE HIM CHEW YOUR FUCKING PUSSY LIPS OFF JUST FOR BEING A STUPID HOSE BAG.
FUCK YOU!
~~~The camera is back on Steve.~~~
Studs: Another point I need to make, it appears I overlooked the fact that my rumble with The Great and Malibu’s Most Wanted is a fuckin’ non-title match. I’m a busy fuckin’ guy, it’s not like I have a lot of time to read the gatdamn bookin’ sheet for minor details such as title or non-title. Doesn’t matter ANY-way, fucker named Axl. EVERY match I’m in is a title match whether there’s fuckin’ titles involved or not. My matches just have that championship feel. Ya dig? In fact, I'm the uncrowned "MOTHERFUCKER THAT'S ABOUT TO WHOOP YOUR FUCKIN' ASS WORLD CHAMPION" and that title is ALWAYS on the line. And guess what? I never lose that title.
You, on the other hand, wouldn’t know a title match if it punched you in the fuckin’ tits. You’re gonna beat ME? How many GRAND SLAMS have you won? Oh yeah, that’s what I fuckin’ thought.
Go have your little feud with Sam, Sam the Male Cabaret Dancin’ Bearded Clam and leave me the fuck alone. You’re wastin’ my time… I could be off fuckin’ Sarah Whatbody right now and makin’ Scotty think he’s keepin’ her satisfied.
Now go away. Go away back to your mid-card feud and leave the main events to the main eventers. Ya dig? Or else…maybe, just maybe, I'll give you "that chance" to stop my run at Trey. Good fuckin' luck with that.
~~~static~~~
Studs: Axl, you motherfucker. I just got finished watchin’ your promo, jerkweed. Let me ask you this, do you have a fuckin’ death wish or somethin’? Seriously, dude. What the fuck is your major malfunction, numb nuts?
Oh, you wanna come out and make the galaxians believe you don’t wanna fight me because YOU’LL WIN and deny me my match with Trey Vincent at fuckin’ MEGABRAWL III? Is that a fuckin’ joke?
Listen up, faggot… the reason you don’t want any of this, in reality, is because you know I’ll beat the shit out of you and then make you eat it. THEN, I’ll break your fuckin’ back and bend you backwards around so you can watch yourself shit your own eaten shit eye to big brown eye. Ya dig?
~~~Steve shakes his head in disbelief.~~~
Studs: Really? You really think YOU can beat ME? I could chop off my fuckin’ legs, chop off my fuckin’ arms, wrap a gatdamn Ziploc baggie over my head until I suffocate to death, have the gatdamn Flunky wheel me to the fuckin’ ring in a fuckin’ crate, roll my dead torso into the fuckin’ ring, and STILL whip your gatdamn ass into a bloody fuckin’ stump.
And THAT, jerkweed…. IS A FACT!
I’ll get my match with Trey because this son-of-gatdamn-bitch has been brewin’ since ’01. We’ve known each other this long and have never sports entertained against the other. It’s a dream match, motherfucker. What? Did you think YOU were gonna headline MEGABRAWL III? Pffffft! Maybe if we were going for a wrestling show where NO FUCKIN’ GALAXIANS SHOWED UP.
~~~Steve stops himself for a second.~~~
Studs: Why the fuck are we callin’ BOB fans “galaxians” any fuckin’ way?
~~~Steve shakes the cobwebs and continues…~~~
Studs: Okay, meat. I’ll give you your fuckin’ props on your last bit. It was way less stupid than most of the other shit you do and slightly entertainin’. Especially for a non-entertainin’ motherfucker such as yourself.
Too bad you had to rip off my SPACEDICK gimmick to finally do somethin’ watchable. Ya know what? Maybe not! Keep stealin’ my shit so it’ll be good enough for me to fuckin’ watch it. Ya dig?
Which reminds me.
~~~Steve walks over to his computer.~~~
8========D: HELLO AGAIN, YOU GIMMICK STEALING FAG JIZZ GULPER! YOU KNOW, IT’S A KNOWN FACT THAT I STOLE THIS SHIT FROM SPACEDUCK AND SPACECOP. BUT SO THE FUCK WHAT? I’M THE TYPE OF MOTHERFUCKER THAT CAN PULL IT OFF.
YOU CAN’T EVEN GET THIS MICHAEL SPACE VICK MOTHERFUCKER RIGHT.
:^()
WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? DOES THAT MOTHERFUCKER LOOK BLACK TO YOU? HIS NOSE IS WAY TOO FUCKING POINTY AND HIS LIPS AIN’T NEAR BIG ENOUGH.
8----()()
THERE YA GO. FLAT NOSE AND FULL LIPS. YOU CAN’T EVEN DO YOUR OWN SHIT RIGHT. I MUST ADMIT THOUGH, MIXED MARTIAL-BARKS WAS PRETTY GOOD. BUT YOU FUCKED UP WHEN YOU WERE POSING AS ME AND SAID I HAD A FUCKIN’ DOG NAMED WHAT? FUCKING SHAFTY? WHAT WAS IT? I DON’T HAVE A FUCKING DOG NAMED SHAFTY AND IF I DID I’D HAVE HIM CHEW YOUR FUCKING PUSSY LIPS OFF JUST FOR BEING A STUPID HOSE BAG.
FUCK YOU!
~~~The camera is back on Steve.~~~
Studs: Another point I need to make, it appears I overlooked the fact that my rumble with The Great and Malibu’s Most Wanted is a fuckin’ non-title match. I’m a busy fuckin’ guy, it’s not like I have a lot of time to read the gatdamn bookin’ sheet for minor details such as title or non-title. Doesn’t matter ANY-way, fucker named Axl. EVERY match I’m in is a title match whether there’s fuckin’ titles involved or not. My matches just have that championship feel. Ya dig? In fact, I'm the uncrowned "MOTHERFUCKER THAT'S ABOUT TO WHOOP YOUR FUCKIN' ASS WORLD CHAMPION" and that title is ALWAYS on the line. And guess what? I never lose that title.
You, on the other hand, wouldn’t know a title match if it punched you in the fuckin’ tits. You’re gonna beat ME? How many GRAND SLAMS have you won? Oh yeah, that’s what I fuckin’ thought.
Go have your little feud with Sam, Sam the Male Cabaret Dancin’ Bearded Clam and leave me the fuck alone. You’re wastin’ my time… I could be off fuckin’ Sarah Whatbody right now and makin’ Scotty think he’s keepin’ her satisfied.
Now go away. Go away back to your mid-card feud and leave the main events to the main eventers. Ya dig? Or else…maybe, just maybe, I'll give you "that chance" to stop my run at Trey. Good fuckin' luck with that.
~~~static~~~