Post by Cyborg Paper Mr Fantastic on Mar 6, 2009 14:29:11 GMT -5
[Herbert Q Poindexter, a scientist specializing in the field of… who knows? is stood in his laboratory looking at a clipboard. He turns his neck to look at a less than attractive assistant wearing rubber gloves pulling some sort of metallic device out of liquid nitrogen. He turns back to the camera.]
HQP: One of the lamest *coughs* sorry, greatest wrestlers in the history of the sport… better than any Greek, better than any Russian, better than any Mongolian, better than Hogan, better than The Rock… hell, he was even better than John Cena… was cut down 40 years into his prime. BUT, we can bring him back. We can make him stronger, faster, more filled with pungent testosterone that attacks the nostrils like a sledgehammer dipped in sweat and pork rinds. We took DNA from the corpse, we fed it strawberries in stage one, freshly baked bread in the second and egg fried rice in the last. It grew. It festered. But it wouldn’t remain stable. We had to add extra elements to keep the living tissue alive.
HQP: Introducing… weighing in at 800 lbs… Cyborg Mr. Fantastic!
[Before the door can close a whole host of other weirdos step out.]
HQP: Also Werewolf Mr. Fantastic, Paper Mr. Fantastic, Midget Mr. Fantastic and Chocolate Mr. Fantastic. The NGETFA Tag Titles don’t stand a chance.
[The cyborg and paper Mr. Fantastics shuffle forward.]
Cyborg Mr. Fantastic: When the splash comes… Great and Pete Trable… you will… be wiped out.
[Herbert Poindexter and his assistant run out of the lab with a bottle of white lightning cider and a picnic basket.]
HQP: One of the lamest *coughs* sorry, greatest wrestlers in the history of the sport… better than any Greek, better than any Russian, better than any Mongolian, better than Hogan, better than The Rock… hell, he was even better than John Cena… was cut down 40 years into his prime. BUT, we can bring him back. We can make him stronger, faster, more filled with pungent testosterone that attacks the nostrils like a sledgehammer dipped in sweat and pork rinds. We took DNA from the corpse, we fed it strawberries in stage one, freshly baked bread in the second and egg fried rice in the last. It grew. It festered. But it wouldn’t remain stable. We had to add extra elements to keep the living tissue alive.
HQP: Introducing… weighing in at 800 lbs… Cyborg Mr. Fantastic!
[Before the door can close a whole host of other weirdos step out.]
HQP: Also Werewolf Mr. Fantastic, Paper Mr. Fantastic, Midget Mr. Fantastic and Chocolate Mr. Fantastic. The NGETFA Tag Titles don’t stand a chance.
[The cyborg and paper Mr. Fantastics shuffle forward.]
Cyborg Mr. Fantastic: When the splash comes… Great and Pete Trable… you will… be wiped out.
[Herbert Poindexter and his assistant run out of the lab with a bottle of white lightning cider and a picnic basket.]
