Post by THE GREAT on Nov 2, 2007 23:45:27 GMT -5
(A mailman walks up to a suburban home carrying a box. He rings the doorbell. He waits. He rings again. A man answers, he's about 5'11'' with a modest build. Nothing spectacular.)
Mailman: I think I have a package for you.
Man: Where's it from?
Mailman: It says "Bargain Sports Entertainer Boot Factory."
Man: THEY'RE HERE! My boots are here!
Mailman: You have to sign for them.
Man: Okay! Let me grab a pen!
(Several minutes pass. The man returns and quickly scrawls on an invoice.)
Mailman: Um, you signed it "The Great". I'll need your real name.
Man: That is--- MY REAL NAME. In fact, stop addressing me as simply "Man" when I speak. From now on, I want to see "The Great" over there. Just like that. "The Great."
Mailman: Please, sir. I have other deliveries.
"The Great": You don't understand. My boots have arrived. The legacy begins. The Great is now complete. The Great's career is set to begin.
Mailman: Okay.
"The Great": It's finally time. The Great is a sports entertainer like no other, because The Great is hungry for victory. The Great has a wife and three kids who think The Great is made out of money. They're bleeding The Great dry. They assume The Great has ATM tattooed on The Great's ass. So, now The Great must supplement The Great's income by joining Brawler's on a Budget. Probably not a good idea as far as earning extra cash, but The Great's gotta start somewhere. Maybe after a year or two, The Great is hoping WWECW will pick The Great up. The Great is every bit as good as Big Daddy V.
Mailman: Hey guy, you're scaring me.
"The Great": THE GREAT! Call The Great, THE GREAT!
Mailman: The Great what? White Hope? Gatsby? Balls of Fire?
"The Great": Don't you dare speak of The Great's genitals! Besides, The Great took medication and that's all cleared up. And since you're a mailman, you can deliver this message to the fans of Brawler's on a Budget:
Because soon, their arenas I'll populate.
All coming to see The Great.
The women, after seeing The Great.
Will want to procreate.
But The Great won't consummate.
The Great is not that kind of date.
But they might want me to sperm bank donate.
But something they'll hate.
That's not something that'll ever be done by The Great.
They'll just have to masturbate.
Hopefully for you, your pain will alleviate.
If you're the first victim of The Great.
Maybe your bones will just disintegrate.
The Great doesn't know, The Great is not a predictor of fate.
Don't hesitate.
Buy your tickets and don't be late.
You won't want to miss the debut of The Great.
If you do, you'll get sick and probably regurgitate.
Maybe suffocate.
Right after you defecate.
Tell the masses, Nate!
Mailman: Will do, um, mate. And my name is Jesse, not Nate.
"The Great": GREAT! Hurry on and don't forget, The Great is about to produce BOB's first sold out gate!
Mailman: I doubt that.
"The Great": Hey! Don't hate. Appreciate!
Mailman: By the way, is your daughter available?
"The Great": No! She's jailbait!
Mailman: Thought you'd have run out by now.
"The Great": Oh no, The Great has tons on The Great's plate! More than you can ate!
Mailman: That's eat.
"The Great": So you speculate? Try and investigate? How about The Great puts it this way--- more that you could possibly ever have ate?
Mailman: You win. I'm going now.
"The Great": That's great. I'm great. The Great.
And soon, you will all, fans of Brawler's on a Budget---
You will all love The Great. You will all praise The Great.
You will all think The Great--- is great.
And if you don't, The Great will make believers out of you.
The Great will manipulate.
The Great, WILL MANIPULATE!
Don't hibernate!
Come out and see The Great!
You won't--- um, re-GREAT-it!
(The Great. Out)
Mailman: I think I have a package for you.
Man: Where's it from?
Mailman: It says "Bargain Sports Entertainer Boot Factory."
Man: THEY'RE HERE! My boots are here!
Mailman: You have to sign for them.
Man: Okay! Let me grab a pen!
(Several minutes pass. The man returns and quickly scrawls on an invoice.)
Mailman: Um, you signed it "The Great". I'll need your real name.
Man: That is--- MY REAL NAME. In fact, stop addressing me as simply "Man" when I speak. From now on, I want to see "The Great" over there. Just like that. "The Great."
Mailman: Please, sir. I have other deliveries.
"The Great": You don't understand. My boots have arrived. The legacy begins. The Great is now complete. The Great's career is set to begin.
Mailman: Okay.
"The Great": It's finally time. The Great is a sports entertainer like no other, because The Great is hungry for victory. The Great has a wife and three kids who think The Great is made out of money. They're bleeding The Great dry. They assume The Great has ATM tattooed on The Great's ass. So, now The Great must supplement The Great's income by joining Brawler's on a Budget. Probably not a good idea as far as earning extra cash, but The Great's gotta start somewhere. Maybe after a year or two, The Great is hoping WWECW will pick The Great up. The Great is every bit as good as Big Daddy V.
Mailman: Hey guy, you're scaring me.
"The Great": THE GREAT! Call The Great, THE GREAT!
Mailman: The Great what? White Hope? Gatsby? Balls of Fire?
"The Great": Don't you dare speak of The Great's genitals! Besides, The Great took medication and that's all cleared up. And since you're a mailman, you can deliver this message to the fans of Brawler's on a Budget:
Because soon, their arenas I'll populate.
All coming to see The Great.
The women, after seeing The Great.
Will want to procreate.
But The Great won't consummate.
The Great is not that kind of date.
But they might want me to sperm bank donate.
But something they'll hate.
That's not something that'll ever be done by The Great.
They'll just have to masturbate.
Hopefully for you, your pain will alleviate.
If you're the first victim of The Great.
Maybe your bones will just disintegrate.
The Great doesn't know, The Great is not a predictor of fate.
Don't hesitate.
Buy your tickets and don't be late.
You won't want to miss the debut of The Great.
If you do, you'll get sick and probably regurgitate.
Maybe suffocate.
Right after you defecate.
Tell the masses, Nate!
Mailman: Will do, um, mate. And my name is Jesse, not Nate.
"The Great": GREAT! Hurry on and don't forget, The Great is about to produce BOB's first sold out gate!
Mailman: I doubt that.
"The Great": Hey! Don't hate. Appreciate!
Mailman: By the way, is your daughter available?
"The Great": No! She's jailbait!
Mailman: Thought you'd have run out by now.
"The Great": Oh no, The Great has tons on The Great's plate! More than you can ate!
Mailman: That's eat.
"The Great": So you speculate? Try and investigate? How about The Great puts it this way--- more that you could possibly ever have ate?
Mailman: You win. I'm going now.
"The Great": That's great. I'm great. The Great.
And soon, you will all, fans of Brawler's on a Budget---
You will all love The Great. You will all praise The Great.
You will all think The Great--- is great.
And if you don't, The Great will make believers out of you.
The Great will manipulate.
The Great, WILL MANIPULATE!
Don't hibernate!
Come out and see The Great!
You won't--- um, re-GREAT-it!
(The Great. Out)
