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Post by @xL on Oct 30, 2007 4:44:35 GMT -5
- Black screen. -
[...]
- cut -
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Post by doucheah on Oct 30, 2007 4:46:21 GMT -5
yo, dawg, that be some crazy mixed up tom-foolery... dawg.
- cut. ... dawg. ... -
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Sil M Putz and Nurse Spankey
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Post by Sil M Putz and Nurse Spankey on Oct 30, 2007 5:21:10 GMT -5
Sil M. Putz and Nurse Spankey's response:
[The camera opens to "Cut 'Em Up, Cut 'Em Up, Raw, Raw, Raw" surgical office, in Nipples, Alaska. Sil M. Putz and Nurse Spankey are looking onward toward the tv set.]
SMPutz: Yo, dawg, that be some crazy mixed up-
Nurse Spankey: Doctor... erm... wrong promo. Try something "new".
SMPutz: Try something NEW?! Why, that's CRAZY talk!
- cuz if it ain't old, it just ain't B... o... B. -
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Massive Ego Man and Jimbo
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Post by Massive Ego Man and Jimbo on Oct 30, 2007 5:24:25 GMT -5
[The camera opens to an empty arena. "Slowly Degenerated" by Geezer Generation Zzz hits, and after a bit of time, Massive Ego Man Air Conditioner First and Jimbo walk out... well, MEMAC1 using a cane, and Jimbo a walker, but you get the point. They try to lift their arms up in an 'X'... but they fall over onto the stage.]
[...]
[An 'X' of green pyro blasts off in the ring, all the while "D-Generated Hip" lay on the stage... sorta drooling.]
[...]
- scene -
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Post by Francis on Oct 30, 2007 5:26:03 GMT -5
"Francis'" response:
[The NetherRegionsWorld, Alaska. Francis, Death's cousin or uncle or nephew or whatever the fuck, is sitting in a rocking chair in a nursing home. His scythe, splintered and weathered with time, lays before the chair... as Francis slowly rocks, to and fro.]
Francis: Halloween... all Hallow's Night.
A night upon, which there is fright.
Fright from kids, who monsters scare.
Fright from those who enter, dare
A haunted house... a graveyard too.
Fright they me, and fright they you.
Fright they must, and fright they do.
But in the end, the most who's frightened...
Are the ones who aren't...
Enlightened.
["Francis" removes his hood, revealing it was Axl all along. In fact, it was Axl who played SMPutz, Tifa who played Nurse Spankey, and Joey, Jimmy, and Jonny who played "douche-ah", as well as "D-Generated Hip". A cavalcade of costumed Hierarchy members, with one goal; humiliate... the elderly.]
Axl: Yes... Halloween. In which one tradition has always been to pick on the poor, defenseless, helpless elderly. Whether they live by themselves in old houses, or if they be in nursing homes, the elderly have always been a target of the young in their Halloween pranks. Well, BoB's elderly. You clinging-to-your-last-strands-of-glory-in-a-show-of-not-being-able-to-pass-the-torch-when-you-know-your-time-is-well-and-gone old coots! It's time. It's time... that a new era. A new dawn. A new... Horizon. A new blood. A new BREED... played the ultimate prank, on your pathetic, washed up old asses.
Axl: And that prank... is called "Revenge". Revenge upon each and every one of you for holding on PAST your expiration date! It's time... oh, it's DAMN time.
Axl: For I... am evil.
Axl: I am sinister.
Axl: I am unHOLY.
Axl: I am a messiah... a savior... a... God.
Axl: I am a God of Metal... as well as Sports Entertainment.
Axl: I am the Leader of the Hierarchy...
Axl: And I am...
Axl: I Am...
I AM...
- better ... than ... you. -
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Reply with Extra mayo
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Post by Reply with Extra mayo on Oct 30, 2007 8:24:53 GMT -5
[Black screen]
"Poink"
[Blue Screen]
"My watermelon crashed again. Hit the shiny rockmelon, George!"
[Green screen]
"The weather today remains insipid, with flurrys of apathy about the lakes and highlands..."
[Black screen again]
"Zoot!"
[Cut]
*snip, snip, snip*
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Post by Dr. Silaconne M. Plants on Oct 30, 2007 17:03:21 GMT -5
[Dr Silaconne M. Plants has settled down for a bowl full of delicious, nutritious cereal... probably some kind featuring whole grain and nuts. Maybe some raisins too.
He walks over to the fridge and pulls out a carton of milk. On its side, the following can be read:]
MISSING:
AXL'S ENTERTAINMENT VALUE.
SMP: [sniffs] Hmmm, this milk smells old. Kinda like a guy telling another guy he's old, for no less than the fifteenth thousand time. Or something to that effect...
Oh well, off to J-Mart, I need some milk.
[He sits down the milk and leaves. On the other side of the carton, this message can be seen:]
MISSING:
NURSE HEIDI'S VIRGINITY.
[cut]
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Post by @xL on Nov 1, 2007 0:57:20 GMT -5
Axl: Entertainment? Value? Two things that are meaningless in proffessional sports entertainment. Of course, I couldn't expect a guy that still believes wrestling belongs in pro wrestling to understand the Truth behind the business. Behind the Industry. Behind...
tHe HiErArChY...
Axl: I will continue to call you as well as your brethren... old. Until the day you all admit it to yourselves... to the fans... to the world. When you step aside... and pass the torch.
Axl: It's time for a new generation. A generation that understands that times have changed... and so has the business. A generation that isn't afraid to step up... and sell out.
Axl: Times have changed, dear Sil. And it's time for you to as well.
- 01101110 01100101 01111000 01110100 01100111 01100101 01101110 -
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Post by Dr. Silaconne M. Plants on Nov 2, 2007 15:16:19 GMT -5
SMP: Entertainment? Value? You say? Two things that are meaningless in sports entertainment? Maybe meaningless to you, but not as meaningless as that extra "F" in professional. But whatever...
Let me tell you something, boy, for you have lots to learn.
Wrestling is hundreds of years old, it's rumored to have even been around during the Roman Gladiator times. I wonder if they had anybody named Nitro. Man, I miss American Gladitors...but that's not quite the same thing now is it?
Anyway, as long has wrestling has been around, there has been been interesting *ahem* performers. Without these, there are no paying customers. Without paying customers, there is no production. Without production, I'll just go on back to butchering titties.
Guys like you are killing the industry. BOB has enough problems getting people in the door... and by you, YOU claiming to be the saviour of this place? Do you really hear the cash register chiming in? I don't.
So, you can call me old all you like. I still know how to somewhat pack one side of the building.
You? *pffft* Whatever.
The day I "pass the torch", it will certainly not be to guys of your mold. Because you see... the symbolism of passing the torch is graciously stepping down to allow the "next generation" to carry on and having them steer the ship.
With you at the helm, we might as well rename BOB the Titantic Wrestling Federation...
I'm not pasing the torch because I'm not ready to watch the biz hit that iceberg.
The Smooth Operator is still The Captain. And you're like Tennille... in more ways than one I might add.
I love this business, and "Love Will Keep Us Together"...
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Post by @xL on Nov 2, 2007 17:00:15 GMT -5
[The camera opens to the front deck of a ship. On the side of the ship it reads; "S.S. Budgetanic". Aboard the ship are a variety of people... some, older people with receding hairlines, wrinkled faces, and splotched skin. These people are seen playing shuffleboard, as well as simply lounging in deck chairs, drooling profusely. All of these people are at the back of the ship...]
[And then... there are their much younger shipmates.]
[On the front deck, there is a pool set up, where 20 something year olds are drinking from margarita glasses... the women, in itty bitty bikinis, some even dancing around poles... in the background, techno music is playing, and some people are enjoying themselves by waving glowsticks and snorting - er, hey, look, there's Axl!]
[Axl is standing at the very front of the deck, playing the part of DJ. The track currently playing is "Believe" by Digital Funk Monkiiz, an Icelandic duo famous for this very single. As the entrancing melody plays, Axl peers up from his set, looking at the ship patrons... He smiles, and scratches one of the records really quickly... and as he does, the trance-like sound of the music somehow suddenly becomes even more trance-y. All of the young people on deck suddenly stop what they're doing and look up at Axl, with wide eyed stares, frozen stiff... As he continues the music, he looks off to the side, at the camera, and speaks.]
Axl: Sil... I guess you'll just never realize, will you? Wrestling... it's just like this ship. There are those older members that believe they know what this business needs... those that believe they've got it all figured out. Those that think for themselves... and end up passed by in the long run.
[Axl looks back at his shipmates... but now, instead of simply standing, glassy eyed, they are bowing before him, heads lowered... not a single standing on their own two feet.]
[Axl speaks... looking at his new followers.... as the techno beat continues in the background.]
Axl: And then? There are those... the new regime. Whereas the older regime is like a democracy, where all have their say, and work together, to help eachother? Well...
[The techno music slowly builds... before picking up into a loud beat, with hard drums, and a fast tempo.]
Axl: The new regime... is a dictatorship. With one leader. Under which these fools... whether they be on a ship or in a federation... they follow. For they know no better... All they want is to get ahead. And if they have to suck up to get there? They shall. And they will. Orders must be followed... no matter how "stupid" or "uneccessary" they may appear on the outside. For in the end... it is all for the greater good. The new generation... they don't know how to lead themselves. And the fans... too fickle, with the lowest attention span in ages.
[As Axl continues, words can be heard in the music... "You know what I need... not what I want. You know what I need... not what I feel. I will give in to you... I will give in to you... I Believe..."]
Axl: They need a leader that KNOWS what's best for them. They need someone who knows, better than they, what is BEST for this business... and the future of sports entertainment.
Axl: That is why, Sil, the generation I herald is sooo much better than that which you try and prolong. Because, Sil... my new blood... my... Hierarchy? Is willing to surrender unto me... and hand me the reigns. It's how the younger generation always has been... they're willing to follow anything as long as it appears "cool" and "hip". As long as IT appears to know what it's talking about... they will follow.
Axl: They're willing to follow any trend that is deemed to possess the "It" factor. And Sil... as far as BoB is concerned? I AM... it.
Axl: Whether you Believe it or not... whether you ACCEPT it or not... I am the only thing... the ONLY thing... in this company worth plunking down one's hard earned cash on.
Axl: Regardless of wrestling's long history in the past, there have NEVER been sports entertainers quite like the ones I shall soon lead. These men... they are unlike ANYTHING this business, or BoB, has ever been subject to. They have more skill in their little pinkies than people like you... douche-ah... and D-Generated Hip pack in your entire bodies, combined. Sure, they may be terrible on the microphone, and sure, they may not be able to lead a storyline to save their lives... that's where I come in. Whereas they may lack anything resembling charisma, I have charisma in SPADES. That's why they need me as a leader... and together, we shall, we WILL, bulldoze over each and everyone of you dried up old wind bags.
Axl: You claim that I'm not worthy of passing the torch to... that my claiming to be the savior of this company is driving people away from the arena even moreso than they have been already.
Axl: But Sil... the Truth is? It doesn't MATTER what you say... because the FACT is, I am... and forever WILL be, the only star capable of steering this ship to the new land...
Axl: You don't see the Horizon... but I do.
[As the techno music culminates, Axl scratches the record once again...]
Axl: Sometimes... you don't need an iceberg to bring an entire ship into the depths of the ocean. All you need... is a voice. A voice that a few dozen feeble minded lemmings will listen to... follow... right into their deaths.
[Axl scratches the record again, and this time, "Believe" skips into "2-D-Deth"... As Axl continues his work on the record set, every one of the young members of the ship walk toward the front of the ship... in two single file lines...]
[... Before willingly falling into the sea.]
[Axl smiles... demonically... as the camera catches a glint in his eye, peering ever so slightly up from his set up at the camera...]
Axl: I am...
- king of the world -
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