Post by Kevin the Pyromaniac on Sept 7, 2007 7:15:34 GMT -5
['Eye Of The Tiger' fades out as our scene begins. Kevin, BOB's most lovable jobber, is in his mother's backyard being trained by a heavyset guy in a black leotard known only as The Trainer. Nearby is a vicious looking dog wearing a pink collar and chewing grass.]
The Trainer: Drop down and give me 50!
[He thrusts his fist in the air threateningly.]
Kevin: 50 what?
The Trainer: Push ups!
[Kevin removes his light red glasses.]
Kevin: You mean this isn't a written exam?
The Trainer: I'm here to whip you into peak condition, now shut your mouth before I give you 100 push ups!
[Kevin rubs his eyes.]
Kevin: But I have a headache.
The Trainer: Listen up dog food face, if you don't get on the ground right now you'll get a punch in the jaw and 500 push ups!
[Kevin talks under his breath as he begins exercising. He collapses after 4.]
Kevin: You're fucking with my mind you bastard! What the fuck do push ups have to do with wrestling?
The Trainer: Everything maggot teeth! You'd better do one more or I'll throw you in the lake!!
[Kevin grabs a can of nearby gasoline and throws it on himself instead.]
Kevin: You're a pussy The Trainer!
[Kevin ignites himself and hurls himself head first into The Trainer's gut. But The Trainer is too big to knock over and he crushes poor little Kevin.]
Referee: 123!
[The dog then runs over and bites The Trainer's ass.]
The Trainer: Drop down and give me 50!
[He thrusts his fist in the air threateningly.]
Kevin: 50 what?
The Trainer: Push ups!
[Kevin removes his light red glasses.]
Kevin: You mean this isn't a written exam?
The Trainer: I'm here to whip you into peak condition, now shut your mouth before I give you 100 push ups!
[Kevin rubs his eyes.]
Kevin: But I have a headache.
The Trainer: Listen up dog food face, if you don't get on the ground right now you'll get a punch in the jaw and 500 push ups!
[Kevin talks under his breath as he begins exercising. He collapses after 4.]
Kevin: You're fucking with my mind you bastard! What the fuck do push ups have to do with wrestling?
The Trainer: Everything maggot teeth! You'd better do one more or I'll throw you in the lake!!
[Kevin grabs a can of nearby gasoline and throws it on himself instead.]
Kevin: You're a pussy The Trainer!
[Kevin ignites himself and hurls himself head first into The Trainer's gut. But The Trainer is too big to knock over and he crushes poor little Kevin.]
Referee: 123!
[The dog then runs over and bites The Trainer's ass.]