Post by @xL on Jul 12, 2007 18:42:35 GMT -5
:: Thursday, July 12th, 2007 - 11:11 a.m. ::
~ Location: JizzyWorld - Nowhere, Oklahoma ~
[JizzyWorld. The home estate of one; Jizzy the Clown. Jizzy is a clown who stays in character. From the minute he wakes up, to the minute he goes to bed, Jizzy is prepared. Prepared to perform. Prepared to make men, women, and children smile. Prepared... to do it.]
[And do it he does.]
[On this fine afternoon, a young boy, with spiked, blue hair, somewhere in the age range between 5 and three quarters and 5 and four quarters, has walked up to the gates of JizzyWorld... peering inside as his eyes fill with wonder... For JizzyWorld is a place of wonder and disbelief. Part mansion... part amusement park, the 3 hundred and fifty acre estate is a magical land of make believe. And young Timmy McJellin' is captivated by it all. Looking on with eyes filled with-]
Timmy: Wooooow!!!
[... Ahem. As I was saying, looking on with-]
Timmy: I nevew sawed such a pwace in AAALL my wife!
[... Looking on with eyes filled with glee and joy and-]
Timmy: Imma go inside and see aww da bwootifull thingies I could see! Hee-yah I comed!!!
[Ugh... no respect, I tell ya, no respect at all. Well, anyway, Timmy shoves the gate open, and steps inside. As he makes his way to the front door, he reaches into his pocket... and pulls out a LIGHTER?!?!?!]
Timmy: By da way! Aww da kids at schoo-wull caww me: Timmy the Pie-woh-manic! Wutt duff it mean? I DUNNO!!! [tries to start the lighter, but can't seem to] ARGGG! I'M PISSED NOWWW!!!
[Timmy continues to try and start the lighter, but as he tries, the door swings open... and out comes Jizzy. Only instead of dressed up as he was for his previous appearance in an Axl rant, this time, his poofy clown hair is replaced by long, rainbow-streaked hair with a black fedora stitched on top. And instead of his usual colorful clown get up, Jizzy is clad in a black suit with white shirt, a surgeon's mask over his mouth... and a single, sparkling glove on his right hand. His face paint... whiter than ever. His big, red, clown nose? Gone, and without it, we can see his small, entirely too thin nose...]
[Jizzy looks down at the boy...]
Jizzy: A-tee-hee-hee! Well little boy, what brings you to my house? Are you feelin... Bad? Ready for a... Thriller? Or do you just wanna... Beat It?
Timmy: Well... I... I...
Jizzy: Don't be afraid little guy, MJ won't hurt you!
Timmy: ... MJ?
Jizzy: You know! Michael Jizzy! My real name!
Timmy: ...
Jizzy: Come on inside! I've got candy, cookies, chocolate, phallic devices!
Timmy: Ph- ph-
Jizzy: I've got DONUTS!!!
[Suddenly, young Timmy is able to start the lighter... and the flame lights part of Jizzy's leg, which, just like most of the other parts of MJ, is made of 99% plastic. Jizzy immediately begins to melt...]
Jizzy: I'm melting... MELTING! Ohhh, what a world, what a world... And to think, that a perverted pedophile such as myself, could ever be killed... to DEATH! ... by such a small, pyromaniacal child such as you! Oooooo, what a world... Parting... is such sweet sorrow. *dies*
Timmy: Yay! Lightew fine-ah-wee wukked!! Nows I can light granny's birf day cake! ... Wait, what's dis hee-yah? A... a... mud puddle? Ooo, I get to pway! Yipee!
[Timmy begins to play in the puddle of charred flesh and melted plastic, but... before long, a figure descends into view. As Death is away resting, his cousin, Francis, has taken on the entity's duties. Francis, a skeletal figure bedecked in a black robe, carrying a scythe [sound familiar?], walks over to the puddle, to find Timmy splashing around.]
Francis: Hey, ya mashugina! What's wit' da splashing, and da splishing, and da OY VAY! Get out of here ya baba ganoosh! Don't ya know that's not kosher?!
Timmy: Awww... but I'm only havin' fun mistew!
Francis: Oiven... kids today. No repect for their elders. Why, back in my day, 3,000,000 years ago, we didn't even HAVE puddles of melted body parts! We had to make our own!
[As Francis goes on with his tales of an earlier time [waaay earlier...], neither boy nor reaper notice the back door opening... and the Metal God walking in, with Tifa right alongside.]
Francis: And ANOTHER thing-
Tifa: AHEM! Presenting, his most respected, his most courageous, his most EXHALTED... Leader of the Rock-O-Lution... Axl... Van... HALEN!!! Jeez, am I glad the pay is good. ... Oh... wait. Right...
Axl: ARE YOU READY TAH ROCCCKKK!!!
Francis: Huh?
Axl: ... I said... ARE... YOU... RRRRR-
Francis: Huh? Yer gonna have tah speak up there, wise-en-heimen!
Axl: Wise-en... ? I SAID... ... You know what? Nevermind. Let's see here...Tifa, I may not be seeing right, but is that a kid with a lighter and green hair I see?
Tifa: Well, it's blue... but close enough.
Axl: And that's a skeleton in a robe wielding a scythe, right?
Tifa: Yup. You got it, dude.
Axl: Well then. Kevin. Death. You may not be ready to rock... but let's... get... ready... to RUUUMMBBBLLLEEE!!!~1
Timmy: Kevin?
Francis: Death?
Timmy/Francis: [looking at eachother] *gulp*
::: ... to be concluded ... :::