Post by Not telling on Nov 26, 2006 3:19:49 GMT -5
Hell isn't a nice place to be. I don't mean the BOB-hell (which is terrible in it's own right) I mean the fiery inferno hell, demons with pitchforks up your ass as my sweet satan laughs is demonic lungs out. Yeah, I suppose it is kinda funny.
Within this burning dimension of everlasting torment and despair, one very deserving former BOB ultra-jobber knelt in chains before the lord lucifer. He had been killed by Death on some show last year or something (like I'm gonna look it up) and spent all his time since then being punished for being such a terrible gimmick. His body and face were scarred and burnt and all his teeth had been knocked out.
Lucifer: So, Kevin the Pyromaniac... hot enough for ya?!
Kevin: phtafvs vurfs vam uh deph yoke!
Lucifer: As eloquent as ever, eh Kevin? Well, let's forget humour, shall we?
Kevin: fhamks.
Lucifer: SILENCE! Listen, I've had my demons roasting you for months and you just seem to like it. We tried putting you in the bottomless pit of burning acid but you just spent the whole time splashing your other inmates. We couldn't burn you at the stake of immortal fire, because you fucking broke free and started hitting everybody with it!
Kevin: aym kehbun zah paimrobaneeak~!1 zitz bah doody poo buhn zapfh boodee!
Lucifer: Did you just say doody poo?
Kevin: zhup yurh broody fpuu kaandeh asfh!
Lucifer: Never mind! God, you make Ken War and XXXtreme Machine look like queen's english BBC news reporters.
Kevin: hoo za fhuk isf kenb waahr?!1
Lucifer: Look, I've tried everything I can to punished you for your crimes. Nothing works! You just fucking cause trouble and throw yourself into the molten fire lakes.
Kevin: PIEFROMBAMIAAAH#11!
Lucifer: I've come to the conclusion that the only punishment bad enough for you is to send you back to Brawlers on a Budget. Sometimes I think that place is worse than here with people like you there.
Kevin: bfuht zhey mai mie jobf allt hza taimn!!! keipf nee heer,, ay wun jyupm un rava agin!
Lucifer: SILENCE! This is the only punishment truly terrible enough for you; you weird, creepy little kid. And, oh-ho, you thought you were a jobber before. Losing to Unit 5 will be like putting you over compared to the opponents I've got whipped up for you. Now BE BANISHED BACK TO BOB FOR ALL TIME!!
Some sort of weird, black and purple vortex opens up above Kevin and pulls him up with howling winds. The young jobber's screams vanish as the portal closes back up and Satan if left to the soothing sounds of screaming once again.
Lucifer: What a douche.
Within this burning dimension of everlasting torment and despair, one very deserving former BOB ultra-jobber knelt in chains before the lord lucifer. He had been killed by Death on some show last year or something (like I'm gonna look it up) and spent all his time since then being punished for being such a terrible gimmick. His body and face were scarred and burnt and all his teeth had been knocked out.
Lucifer: So, Kevin the Pyromaniac... hot enough for ya?!
Kevin: phtafvs vurfs vam uh deph yoke!
Lucifer: As eloquent as ever, eh Kevin? Well, let's forget humour, shall we?
Kevin: fhamks.
Lucifer: SILENCE! Listen, I've had my demons roasting you for months and you just seem to like it. We tried putting you in the bottomless pit of burning acid but you just spent the whole time splashing your other inmates. We couldn't burn you at the stake of immortal fire, because you fucking broke free and started hitting everybody with it!
Kevin: aym kehbun zah paimrobaneeak~!1 zitz bah doody poo buhn zapfh boodee!
Lucifer: Did you just say doody poo?
Kevin: zhup yurh broody fpuu kaandeh asfh!
Lucifer: Never mind! God, you make Ken War and XXXtreme Machine look like queen's english BBC news reporters.
Kevin: hoo za fhuk isf kenb waahr?!1
Lucifer: Look, I've tried everything I can to punished you for your crimes. Nothing works! You just fucking cause trouble and throw yourself into the molten fire lakes.
Kevin: PIEFROMBAMIAAAH#11!
Lucifer: I've come to the conclusion that the only punishment bad enough for you is to send you back to Brawlers on a Budget. Sometimes I think that place is worse than here with people like you there.
Kevin: bfuht zhey mai mie jobf allt hza taimn!!! keipf nee heer,, ay wun jyupm un rava agin!
Lucifer: SILENCE! This is the only punishment truly terrible enough for you; you weird, creepy little kid. And, oh-ho, you thought you were a jobber before. Losing to Unit 5 will be like putting you over compared to the opponents I've got whipped up for you. Now BE BANISHED BACK TO BOB FOR ALL TIME!!
Some sort of weird, black and purple vortex opens up above Kevin and pulls him up with howling winds. The young jobber's screams vanish as the portal closes back up and Satan if left to the soothing sounds of screaming once again.
Lucifer: What a douche.