Post by MMR1 "Re-Generation-X" on May 11, 2006 19:37:38 GMT -5
(Somewhere on the west coast of Mexico…somewhere called Puerto Vallerta. We close in on the Puerto Vallerta international soccer stadium, eatatorium, and brothel. In which a wrestling ring has been erected…Oh my god I can’t believe I got away with saying erected in this. Anyway, we find our newly reformed duo of Totally Packaged Jim and Josh Massive Man standing around listening to their new manager Da Man’s Friend.)
DMF: Alright guys I flew down here, set this ring up and now its time to practice. We have to be ready for SMC this Sunday I mean you haven’t been seen in the ring for a year and people are just looking for an excuse to laugh at you.
MMR1: Yeah! I mean who do these jokers think they are dealing with I am a freaking former Only World Champion That Matters, and I want….no no no I demand respect!
DMF: That’s really good Josh but I think we all would have taken you a little more serious if your fly wasn’t down the whole time you were talking. Now back to the problem at hand we need to practice to get rid of that ring rust and prepare for whatever match they have in store for you.
TPJ: Yeah and we need a new gimmick.
DMF: WHAT!
TPJ: A new gimmick. I mean we can’t be the Kent State Krew anymore. I mean for crying out loud Josh hasn’t been in college for over two years and I am about to start collecting social security.
DMF: WHAT!
(Suddenly a short fat midget comes out of nowhere and sets up a chair and hits DMF with a stunner. Wait that’s no midget that’s former Bob’s Legend Hardcore JJ.)
MMR1: Where the hell did you come fro….
(JJ Sets up another chair and nails Josh with a JJ Drop in mid sentence.)
TPJ: JJ how did you get to Mexico?
JJ: On Delta kids under 3 ride for free…*burp*
TPJ: But your not under 3.
JJ: That’s what that gay ass steward said. Until I JJ Dropped his ass right off the plane…then I ask for one bag of peanuts…
Crowd: What!
JJ: Two bags of peanuts..
Crowd: What!
JJ: an in-flight magazine
Crowd: What!
JJ: a Pepsi
Crowd: What!
JJ: And a pair of those plastic pilots’ wings.
Crowd: What!
TPJ: JJ where’d you get that crowd from?
JJ: Oh they followed me from the airport. They only spoke Spanish until I taught them how to say what.
Crowd: What!
TPJ: JJ what happened you to you used to be in peak physical wrestling condition…and now you don’t even look like to are in peak physical anything.
JJ: Well my Blue Clues watch is telling me ….
TPJ: What Blues Clues watch?
JJ: Oh that’s right JJ for got that JJ pawned his watch for a fiesta platter at Pipi’s and a happy ending at Prestige. But anyway my Blues Clues watch tan line is telling me that all this is just baby fat and I can lose it anytime I want...and that’s my last line cause my Mommy said so…
(JJ hops off his chair and walks out of the arena.)
TPJ: Hmm that was odd and yet somehow not totally unexpected.
(Massive Man begins coming too.)
MMR1: Where the hell is that little SOB, I’ll kill him. I’ll teach him to sucker punch me.
TPJ: Sucker punch? You stood there and waited for him to set up a chair you knew it was coming.
MMR1: Hey! Whose side are you on?
TPJ: Yours, totally yours…until JJ comes back.
MMR1: That’s right!
DMF: A little help here.
(Josh and Jim run to help up DMF)
TPJ: Sorry about my nephew he gets a little cranky without his nap.
DMF: Yeah whatever...but anyway…new gimmicks you want a new gimmick…I thought this was the case soo I took the liberty of picking a little something up and a local store.
(DMF pulls out a suitcase and opens it.)
DMF: I call this gimmick the Esta Noche Connection.
(DMF holds up two luchedore masks)
TPJ: Sweet!
(Jim grabs his mask and puts it on, Josh folds his arms and looks like he’s pouting)
DMF: Josh what’s up?
MMR1: I’m not gonna put that on, its stupid, embarrassing, doesn’t go with my outfit and it covers up my face…how will the ladies know it’s me?
DMF: I thought that might be a problem for you so I picked up a special mask for you.
(DMF hands Josh a clear plastic bag.)
MMR1: Yes that’s great I can show team unity and show everyone how good I look…but what’s this word on the back…Ziploc?
DMF: Oh that’s your new alter ego.
MMR1: Good my old ego was getting to big.
(Josh slips on the “Mask” and he and Jim start working in the ring a little.)
DMF: I call you Esta Noche…I’m not sure what it means but I bet it makes you totally come off as BAMF’s.
TPJ: BAMF’s? What’s that mean?
DMF: Bad Ass Mother F@#kers
TPJ: That’s awesome we should be called BAMF’s
DMF: No, no your name is Esta Noche.
TPJ: NO! BAMF’s
DMF: ESTA NOCHE
TPJ: BAMF’S
DMF: ESTA…NOCHE
TPJ: Josh what do you think about it?
(They both turn to find Josh pass out in the corner turning blue with the bag over his head.)
DMF: Damn it Josh! You are so freakin lazy.
TPJ: I don’t think he’s resting.
(Jim walks over to Josh and pulls the bag off his head, and Josh gasps for air.)
MMR1: Dude that mask sucks…I don’t want to wear that.
(Jim rips off his mask.)
TPJ: Don’t worry buddy you won’t have to we are gonna be The BAMF’iest, BAMF’s that ever BAMF’d a BAMF.
MMR1: Dude why are to talking like a freaking smurf? Are you making fun of me because I’m blue?
TPJ: Nah bro. I think we just figured out who we are. Right DMF?
DMF: Right!
TPJ: So look out BOB’s because we’re back and we’re comin’ to your city.
MMR1: Now let’s kill those bitches.
Da Sassy One: I’m Not Gay!
(Fade to Black)
DMF: Alright guys I flew down here, set this ring up and now its time to practice. We have to be ready for SMC this Sunday I mean you haven’t been seen in the ring for a year and people are just looking for an excuse to laugh at you.
MMR1: Yeah! I mean who do these jokers think they are dealing with I am a freaking former Only World Champion That Matters, and I want….no no no I demand respect!
DMF: That’s really good Josh but I think we all would have taken you a little more serious if your fly wasn’t down the whole time you were talking. Now back to the problem at hand we need to practice to get rid of that ring rust and prepare for whatever match they have in store for you.
TPJ: Yeah and we need a new gimmick.
DMF: WHAT!
TPJ: A new gimmick. I mean we can’t be the Kent State Krew anymore. I mean for crying out loud Josh hasn’t been in college for over two years and I am about to start collecting social security.
DMF: WHAT!
(Suddenly a short fat midget comes out of nowhere and sets up a chair and hits DMF with a stunner. Wait that’s no midget that’s former Bob’s Legend Hardcore JJ.)
MMR1: Where the hell did you come fro….
(JJ Sets up another chair and nails Josh with a JJ Drop in mid sentence.)
TPJ: JJ how did you get to Mexico?
JJ: On Delta kids under 3 ride for free…*burp*
TPJ: But your not under 3.
JJ: That’s what that gay ass steward said. Until I JJ Dropped his ass right off the plane…then I ask for one bag of peanuts…
Crowd: What!
JJ: Two bags of peanuts..
Crowd: What!
JJ: an in-flight magazine
Crowd: What!
JJ: a Pepsi
Crowd: What!
JJ: And a pair of those plastic pilots’ wings.
Crowd: What!
TPJ: JJ where’d you get that crowd from?
JJ: Oh they followed me from the airport. They only spoke Spanish until I taught them how to say what.
Crowd: What!
TPJ: JJ what happened you to you used to be in peak physical wrestling condition…and now you don’t even look like to are in peak physical anything.
JJ: Well my Blue Clues watch is telling me ….
TPJ: What Blues Clues watch?
JJ: Oh that’s right JJ for got that JJ pawned his watch for a fiesta platter at Pipi’s and a happy ending at Prestige. But anyway my Blues Clues watch tan line is telling me that all this is just baby fat and I can lose it anytime I want...and that’s my last line cause my Mommy said so…
(JJ hops off his chair and walks out of the arena.)
TPJ: Hmm that was odd and yet somehow not totally unexpected.
(Massive Man begins coming too.)
MMR1: Where the hell is that little SOB, I’ll kill him. I’ll teach him to sucker punch me.
TPJ: Sucker punch? You stood there and waited for him to set up a chair you knew it was coming.
MMR1: Hey! Whose side are you on?
TPJ: Yours, totally yours…until JJ comes back.
MMR1: That’s right!
DMF: A little help here.
(Josh and Jim run to help up DMF)
TPJ: Sorry about my nephew he gets a little cranky without his nap.
DMF: Yeah whatever...but anyway…new gimmicks you want a new gimmick…I thought this was the case soo I took the liberty of picking a little something up and a local store.
(DMF pulls out a suitcase and opens it.)
DMF: I call this gimmick the Esta Noche Connection.
(DMF holds up two luchedore masks)
TPJ: Sweet!
(Jim grabs his mask and puts it on, Josh folds his arms and looks like he’s pouting)
DMF: Josh what’s up?
MMR1: I’m not gonna put that on, its stupid, embarrassing, doesn’t go with my outfit and it covers up my face…how will the ladies know it’s me?
DMF: I thought that might be a problem for you so I picked up a special mask for you.
(DMF hands Josh a clear plastic bag.)
MMR1: Yes that’s great I can show team unity and show everyone how good I look…but what’s this word on the back…Ziploc?
DMF: Oh that’s your new alter ego.
MMR1: Good my old ego was getting to big.
(Josh slips on the “Mask” and he and Jim start working in the ring a little.)
DMF: I call you Esta Noche…I’m not sure what it means but I bet it makes you totally come off as BAMF’s.
TPJ: BAMF’s? What’s that mean?
DMF: Bad Ass Mother F@#kers
TPJ: That’s awesome we should be called BAMF’s
DMF: No, no your name is Esta Noche.
TPJ: NO! BAMF’s
DMF: ESTA NOCHE
TPJ: BAMF’S
DMF: ESTA…NOCHE
TPJ: Josh what do you think about it?
(They both turn to find Josh pass out in the corner turning blue with the bag over his head.)
DMF: Damn it Josh! You are so freakin lazy.
TPJ: I don’t think he’s resting.
(Jim walks over to Josh and pulls the bag off his head, and Josh gasps for air.)
MMR1: Dude that mask sucks…I don’t want to wear that.
(Jim rips off his mask.)
TPJ: Don’t worry buddy you won’t have to we are gonna be The BAMF’iest, BAMF’s that ever BAMF’d a BAMF.
MMR1: Dude why are to talking like a freaking smurf? Are you making fun of me because I’m blue?
TPJ: Nah bro. I think we just figured out who we are. Right DMF?
DMF: Right!
TPJ: So look out BOB’s because we’re back and we’re comin’ to your city.
MMR1: Now let’s kill those bitches.
Da Sassy One: I’m Not Gay!
(Fade to Black)