Post by MMR1 "Re-Generation-X" on Jan 22, 2006 21:30:40 GMT -5
(Scene opens on a Wyoming ranch. A young man in a cowboy hat, jeans, and no shirt is standing near a fence. He looks out over the field, but seems to be speaking to someone right next to him. The camera closes in on the young man.)
YM: I wish I knew how to quit you.
(The camera pans to see a Mark’s Hard Lemon Juice sitting on the fence. The young man turns around and it’s none other than Da Man’s Friend.)
DMF: I mean if this thing got a hold of us at the wrong time…we’d both be dead.
(Two other young men are riding up on horses. They look familiar with their torn jeans from Abercrombie and their Nike football jerseys. The dark haired man seems to be sporting a Boston College Doug Flutie retro jersey. The blonde is wearing a UCLA Troy Aikman jersey. Could this be the return of that ghetto-fabulous duo?)
MM: Da Man’s Friend, you have been here long enough. I think it’s time you came with us.
DMF: It can’t be. Rumors of your return have gone far and wide, but I never imagined that you would come back for me. Not here. Not now.
TP: We came back to get you because we need you and you need us.
DMF: I don’t understand.
MM: Dude, it’s us. Massive Man Josh and Totally Packaged Jim. The Kent State Krew. We’re making a return to BoB’s wrestling and we need you to be our manager.
DMF: I don’t know what to say.
TP: Just say you’ll do it. After what Da Man did to you and us….it’s just not right.
(Jim becomes a bit emotional.)
MM: Dude, pull yourself together. You start acting like that in Wyoming, people will think you’re a fag.
DMF: But what about the rest of your crew?
TP: Well Brandon is getting married in Mexico….to a girl.
DMF: Wait….I thought Brandon was gay.
MM: You’re thinking of Frank Jones.
DMF: Who?
TP: Sobriety doesn’t suit you.
MM: Frank Jones…Da Sassy Bitch?
DMF: I thought they were gay together.
MM: No, Frank is currently in France working on painting. He thinks it brings out his inner artist that was trapped by working in those horrific conditions with BoB’s wrestling.
DMF: So he’s gay then?
TP: Probably.
DMF: What about VP?
MM: He’s a member of some militia in Michigan?
DMF: Really?
TP: Nah, he’s just joshin’ ya. VP is involved with inner city youth back in his hometown of Seattle.
MM: Yeah, JC Long is working on his music career and hopes to be a B-list movie star soon.
DMF: Wow, things have really changed.
TP: Speaking of change, Candy Cantelopes is now hosting a children’s television program. Candy’s Playground.
DMF: Are you kidding me?
MM: No, we laughed when we heard about it too. But they have a web site and everything.
DMF: And Pain and Pleasure?
TP: Jean went to play hockey in Europe during the NHL lock-out, but ended up in the circus as the lion tamer.
DMF: How did that happen?
MM: Don’t ask. And the Big Sir is in Hersey, Pennsylvania as the weatherman.
DMF: You mean Sir Hungalot is a weatherman in the chocolate capital of the world.
TP: Yeah, except now he goes by Hugh G. Rection.
DMF: It just doesn’t seem right. Why have you come back for me?
MM: BoB’s wrestling needs us. We have been gone for too long. We’ve moved in all different directions and after the way Da Man treated you because Britney decided to marry a back-up dancer instead of the former multi-millionaire, it just seemed to be right.
DMF: But I’ve been through rehab. My gimmick is gone.
TP: Not so our good friend. You see, every good tag team needs a manager. And every good manager needs a cowboy hat.
DMF: I do have a cowboy hat.
MM: Now all you need is a shirt. You look ridiculous without one.
TP: Let’s go Da Man’s Friend.
(Da Man’s Friend tries to get on Jim’s horse.)
TP: Dude, get your own horse. What do you think this is a gay cowboy movie?
DMF: Sorry, I forget myself sometimes.
(Da Man’s Friend looks at the bottle of Mark’s Hard Lemon Juice.)
DMF: Good bye dear friend.
(The three young men ride off in the sunset as we fade to black.)
YM: I wish I knew how to quit you.
(The camera pans to see a Mark’s Hard Lemon Juice sitting on the fence. The young man turns around and it’s none other than Da Man’s Friend.)
DMF: I mean if this thing got a hold of us at the wrong time…we’d both be dead.
(Two other young men are riding up on horses. They look familiar with their torn jeans from Abercrombie and their Nike football jerseys. The dark haired man seems to be sporting a Boston College Doug Flutie retro jersey. The blonde is wearing a UCLA Troy Aikman jersey. Could this be the return of that ghetto-fabulous duo?)
MM: Da Man’s Friend, you have been here long enough. I think it’s time you came with us.
DMF: It can’t be. Rumors of your return have gone far and wide, but I never imagined that you would come back for me. Not here. Not now.
TP: We came back to get you because we need you and you need us.
DMF: I don’t understand.
MM: Dude, it’s us. Massive Man Josh and Totally Packaged Jim. The Kent State Krew. We’re making a return to BoB’s wrestling and we need you to be our manager.
DMF: I don’t know what to say.
TP: Just say you’ll do it. After what Da Man did to you and us….it’s just not right.
(Jim becomes a bit emotional.)
MM: Dude, pull yourself together. You start acting like that in Wyoming, people will think you’re a fag.
DMF: But what about the rest of your crew?
TP: Well Brandon is getting married in Mexico….to a girl.
DMF: Wait….I thought Brandon was gay.
MM: You’re thinking of Frank Jones.
DMF: Who?
TP: Sobriety doesn’t suit you.
MM: Frank Jones…Da Sassy Bitch?
DMF: I thought they were gay together.
MM: No, Frank is currently in France working on painting. He thinks it brings out his inner artist that was trapped by working in those horrific conditions with BoB’s wrestling.
DMF: So he’s gay then?
TP: Probably.
DMF: What about VP?
MM: He’s a member of some militia in Michigan?
DMF: Really?
TP: Nah, he’s just joshin’ ya. VP is involved with inner city youth back in his hometown of Seattle.
MM: Yeah, JC Long is working on his music career and hopes to be a B-list movie star soon.
DMF: Wow, things have really changed.
TP: Speaking of change, Candy Cantelopes is now hosting a children’s television program. Candy’s Playground.
DMF: Are you kidding me?
MM: No, we laughed when we heard about it too. But they have a web site and everything.
DMF: And Pain and Pleasure?
TP: Jean went to play hockey in Europe during the NHL lock-out, but ended up in the circus as the lion tamer.
DMF: How did that happen?
MM: Don’t ask. And the Big Sir is in Hersey, Pennsylvania as the weatherman.
DMF: You mean Sir Hungalot is a weatherman in the chocolate capital of the world.
TP: Yeah, except now he goes by Hugh G. Rection.
DMF: It just doesn’t seem right. Why have you come back for me?
MM: BoB’s wrestling needs us. We have been gone for too long. We’ve moved in all different directions and after the way Da Man treated you because Britney decided to marry a back-up dancer instead of the former multi-millionaire, it just seemed to be right.
DMF: But I’ve been through rehab. My gimmick is gone.
TP: Not so our good friend. You see, every good tag team needs a manager. And every good manager needs a cowboy hat.
DMF: I do have a cowboy hat.
MM: Now all you need is a shirt. You look ridiculous without one.
TP: Let’s go Da Man’s Friend.
(Da Man’s Friend tries to get on Jim’s horse.)
TP: Dude, get your own horse. What do you think this is a gay cowboy movie?
DMF: Sorry, I forget myself sometimes.
(Da Man’s Friend looks at the bottle of Mark’s Hard Lemon Juice.)
DMF: Good bye dear friend.
(The three young men ride off in the sunset as we fade to black.)