Post by Britney Smears on Oct 20, 2005 11:16:37 GMT -5
[Fade in on a cheap-ass news looking set-up. "The Heart Of Rock & Roll" by Huey Lewis and the news is playing. A shadow of Britney Smears is seated behind a dinged up desk and shuffling through some papers. The lights fade up even further and Britney smiles.]
BS: Good, like, morning everybody! Heyyyyy! What's up! I'm Britney Smears and this is, you know, like, Thursday Update! Here are our top stories this morning!
BS: It seems like Wilma is the big topic of, uh, topics today. The legendary wife of Fred Flintstone finally has a hurrycane named after her. And I, for one, am, like, totally pumped about that! I wish Wilma good luck! It's about time cartoons started getting their respect.
BS: Also, the dreaded Evian flu is like, totally, scaring a bunch of people. But people, c'mon! It's really simple to stop the spread of this disease! Stop buying their bottled water! Duh! There are plenty of other brands out there, people. Like, duh? Hello?
BS: In California, YAY! Um, they're saying that people edumacated out here are not as smart as people edumacated in other states. But as a graduate of whatever high school I graduated from here, let me tell you. School is totally hard. But luckily, a lot of my teachers offered me multiple chances to make passing grades with oral quizzes and breast exams. They rawked!
BS: In business today, Katrina and Rita are being blamed for lots of people losing their jobs. Let me just say, I hope that we hunt down these two women and make them totally pay! How are they supposed to, like, shop and stuff? My gawd!
BS: In sports today, big ups to the Houston Assholes, who finally made it to the Super Bowl! Good luck boys! *Wink*
BS: Well, that's about it of note that I noted to note. So, like, join me next time in the Rant Zone for more updates! Bye-eeee!
[Fade to shadow. Cut Huey Lewis. Fade to black.]
BS: Good, like, morning everybody! Heyyyyy! What's up! I'm Britney Smears and this is, you know, like, Thursday Update! Here are our top stories this morning!
BS: It seems like Wilma is the big topic of, uh, topics today. The legendary wife of Fred Flintstone finally has a hurrycane named after her. And I, for one, am, like, totally pumped about that! I wish Wilma good luck! It's about time cartoons started getting their respect.
BS: Also, the dreaded Evian flu is like, totally, scaring a bunch of people. But people, c'mon! It's really simple to stop the spread of this disease! Stop buying their bottled water! Duh! There are plenty of other brands out there, people. Like, duh? Hello?
BS: In California, YAY! Um, they're saying that people edumacated out here are not as smart as people edumacated in other states. But as a graduate of whatever high school I graduated from here, let me tell you. School is totally hard. But luckily, a lot of my teachers offered me multiple chances to make passing grades with oral quizzes and breast exams. They rawked!
BS: In business today, Katrina and Rita are being blamed for lots of people losing their jobs. Let me just say, I hope that we hunt down these two women and make them totally pay! How are they supposed to, like, shop and stuff? My gawd!
BS: In sports today, big ups to the Houston Assholes, who finally made it to the Super Bowl! Good luck boys! *Wink*
BS: Well, that's about it of note that I noted to note. So, like, join me next time in the Rant Zone for more updates! Bye-eeee!
[Fade to shadow. Cut Huey Lewis. Fade to black.]