Post by BOB legend douja on Jul 26, 2005 20:20:39 GMT -5
(The camera fades into douja's messy, smoke filled shack in the heart of Parts, Forgotten. He is seated in his large, black leather recliner. A seven foot glass bong sits beside him. douja is puffing on a rather large joint while cracking a cigar and dumping the tobbacco in the floor. The man likes variety, what can I say? In record time he rolls a blunt and sticks it behind his ear. In another flash he has another blunt rolled and sticks it behind the other ear. He takes a large hit from his torpedoe-sized joint and exhales the smoke into the camera as it continues to fade in.)
douja: in my long ass career i have made a helluva lot of enemies that i just can't seem to get rid of... these motha' fucka's have been thorns in my motha fuckin' side for years... violent pacifist, bohemoth, homocidal hank, the list goes on an' on.. you see, i hate everyone one of dose diabolical sonnamabitches' with a fuckin' passion, yo'... BUT, at da top of my shit list has always been one man... SMP! how i fuckin' hate that titty destroyin' fuck face!!! i can't even think of a word for it! i just make up words to describe my hate for dis bitch ass cracka'.. like dis' one da other day i made up when i was putting burning wholes in a picture of SMP with a lit joint.. mookachicachi... i mookachicachi SMP more then i can imagine! den, you got a guy who is flying up my list the last couple of years like he has a rocket up his ass, steve onenut... when i think of dose assholes togetha' it makes me want to jump out of the nearest fuckin' window!! AHHHH, i just thought of it!!
(douja pops out of his recliner and does a swan dive right through the living room window. The sound of footsetps running around the house are heard. douja bursts s through the front door and plops back down on his recliner. He quickly takes a hit from his joint before he begins to speak again.)
douja: damnit, that is da 400th window i have been through since i saw SMP and onenut's cricle jerk the otha' day... if da reefer i have been smokin' lately didn't make my skin so unexplainably bouncy, i might have broke my motha' fuckin' fibula.. anyway, what i have been gettin' at is this... onenut, me and you in da ring has been a long time comin'.. that was enough to seal da motha' fuckin' deal for me.. douja and SMP, one FINAL time, you know i am down homie, you don't even have to ask! excuse me for a second, motha' fucka's.....
(douja runs off camera and comes back with a step ladder. He climbs up on it and takes a huge pull from the seven foot bong.)
douja: damn, dese bitches have my nerves all fucked up.. i have been smokin' like a train and jumpin' out of windows for days.. i don't know if i can keep dis shit up until december... onenut, you crossed the line.... there are three things i love in dis world.. number one is a fat bag of sweet, sweet cheeba.. number two is a whitegirl with a big ass.. and number three is da only world title dat matters! i went through death like chitlins through my mama and you came out and stole my shot from me!!! you stole my shot and da thing i love third most in dis' world and dat is a sin you will pay for... den, you go and cause me the pain of seeing SMP's sloppy ass jigglin' all over the screen again... well, bitch, you have gone too far!!! by da way, doc, damn you have let yourself go!!! da stretch marks on your fat gut kind of remind me of da map your mama drew me to her house.. remind me to find that map, cause i think it's about past due mama plants had somethin' long and strong in her life, if ya smell what im smokin'.. i miss da sound of her hittin' da high notes while i beat those guts.. she really know how to make a brotha' feel appreciated.. anyways, onenut, we have been jibber jabberin' back and forth for too long... it is go time, bitch, you better be ready... hell, i don't even care about dr. thrilla being my partner... thrilla, you just better be ready to go to war, you metal mouth cunt.. like SMP said, you don't belong in this match... but, your in it, so you better be in it to win it!!!
(douja grabs the blunt from his left ear and amazinly smokes the whole thing in one hit. He grabs the one from his left and somehow does the same thing. It is actually a pretty cool trick.)
douja: SMP, you said something about how dr. thrilla has not been in the ring with da guys you have been in there with... well, i have!!! i have been in the ring with all those motha' fucka's you named... just like you, i have been up and down the roads with guys like bohemoth, the tiger, hank, anyone you want to name... most importantly i have been in the ring with you more times den i can count... you know damn well that i have always had your number... i still got dat shit, bitch, expect a fuckin' call soon!! I BURN TREES LIKE FOREST FIRES AND I WILL WHOOP SMP'S ASS UNTIL THE DAY I RETIRE!!!! IF YA SMELL WHAT DOUJA IS SMOKIN'!!!
(The camera fades out. I think I have a contact buzz.)
douja: in my long ass career i have made a helluva lot of enemies that i just can't seem to get rid of... these motha' fucka's have been thorns in my motha fuckin' side for years... violent pacifist, bohemoth, homocidal hank, the list goes on an' on.. you see, i hate everyone one of dose diabolical sonnamabitches' with a fuckin' passion, yo'... BUT, at da top of my shit list has always been one man... SMP! how i fuckin' hate that titty destroyin' fuck face!!! i can't even think of a word for it! i just make up words to describe my hate for dis bitch ass cracka'.. like dis' one da other day i made up when i was putting burning wholes in a picture of SMP with a lit joint.. mookachicachi... i mookachicachi SMP more then i can imagine! den, you got a guy who is flying up my list the last couple of years like he has a rocket up his ass, steve onenut... when i think of dose assholes togetha' it makes me want to jump out of the nearest fuckin' window!! AHHHH, i just thought of it!!
(douja pops out of his recliner and does a swan dive right through the living room window. The sound of footsetps running around the house are heard. douja bursts s through the front door and plops back down on his recliner. He quickly takes a hit from his joint before he begins to speak again.)
douja: damnit, that is da 400th window i have been through since i saw SMP and onenut's cricle jerk the otha' day... if da reefer i have been smokin' lately didn't make my skin so unexplainably bouncy, i might have broke my motha' fuckin' fibula.. anyway, what i have been gettin' at is this... onenut, me and you in da ring has been a long time comin'.. that was enough to seal da motha' fuckin' deal for me.. douja and SMP, one FINAL time, you know i am down homie, you don't even have to ask! excuse me for a second, motha' fucka's.....
(douja runs off camera and comes back with a step ladder. He climbs up on it and takes a huge pull from the seven foot bong.)
douja: damn, dese bitches have my nerves all fucked up.. i have been smokin' like a train and jumpin' out of windows for days.. i don't know if i can keep dis shit up until december... onenut, you crossed the line.... there are three things i love in dis world.. number one is a fat bag of sweet, sweet cheeba.. number two is a whitegirl with a big ass.. and number three is da only world title dat matters! i went through death like chitlins through my mama and you came out and stole my shot from me!!! you stole my shot and da thing i love third most in dis' world and dat is a sin you will pay for... den, you go and cause me the pain of seeing SMP's sloppy ass jigglin' all over the screen again... well, bitch, you have gone too far!!! by da way, doc, damn you have let yourself go!!! da stretch marks on your fat gut kind of remind me of da map your mama drew me to her house.. remind me to find that map, cause i think it's about past due mama plants had somethin' long and strong in her life, if ya smell what im smokin'.. i miss da sound of her hittin' da high notes while i beat those guts.. she really know how to make a brotha' feel appreciated.. anyways, onenut, we have been jibber jabberin' back and forth for too long... it is go time, bitch, you better be ready... hell, i don't even care about dr. thrilla being my partner... thrilla, you just better be ready to go to war, you metal mouth cunt.. like SMP said, you don't belong in this match... but, your in it, so you better be in it to win it!!!
(douja grabs the blunt from his left ear and amazinly smokes the whole thing in one hit. He grabs the one from his left and somehow does the same thing. It is actually a pretty cool trick.)
douja: SMP, you said something about how dr. thrilla has not been in the ring with da guys you have been in there with... well, i have!!! i have been in the ring with all those motha' fucka's you named... just like you, i have been up and down the roads with guys like bohemoth, the tiger, hank, anyone you want to name... most importantly i have been in the ring with you more times den i can count... you know damn well that i have always had your number... i still got dat shit, bitch, expect a fuckin' call soon!! I BURN TREES LIKE FOREST FIRES AND I WILL WHOOP SMP'S ASS UNTIL THE DAY I RETIRE!!!! IF YA SMELL WHAT DOUJA IS SMOKIN'!!!
(The camera fades out. I think I have a contact buzz.)
