Post by Trey Vincent on Apr 13, 2009 19:33:35 GMT -5
[Trey Vincent is seen at a strip club. The two blonde Sarah Michelle's from "Love Me THREE Times…I'm Not Going Away" are with him. Trey seems to be nicely buzzed, and has his arm wrapped around the neck of Sarah the Waitress. Sarah the Slayer is staring down at a shot glass filled with liquor of some sort.]
TV: Go for it, Sarah. You've earned it.
Sarah The Jobber Slayer: (Shrugs) What else am I going to do? Brag about winning a title from a site that has 12 visitors a day? I thinkest notest!
[Sarah downs the shot.]
TV: Me. Ow!
Sarah the Waitress: What's that, the BOB site?
TV: Well...
StJS: Yeah, actually. (Scratches head)
TV: We need more shots!
StW: And boobies. It's been like one minute since the last girl stopped dancing on the main stage.
TV: We should get a private lapdance.
StW: But...I don't wanna leave Sarah alone. It's like...creep central here.
StJS: I concur! Don't leave me alone. (Pouts)
TV: BOOOOOO!
FCW: What?
TV: Why aren't you more nakeder? *Hic*
FCW: Ah, but you forget that I can bring you more booze!
TV: Huzzuh! Bring us some shots. Surprise us.
FCW: You got it. Oh, by the way...I know this makes zero sense, but you should check the Rant Zone. Here, you can borrow my phone.
[The fully-clothed waitress hands Trey her phone. She winks at him and walks away to get some booze. Trey dials some digits.]
TV: Ted? Hey dude. I need you to read me whatever Dr. Silaconne M. Plants posted about me in the Rant Zone. Oh, what are you eating?... Is it good? ... Are you alone? Well, that's what microwaves are for. ... You don't own a microwave? Well, then, go out and buy a lighter and be really patient and hold each bite of food over the tiny flame to heat it up, what do I care? Just do it, underling.
StW: What a prick!
TV: Thanks for noticing.
[Sarah the Waitress giggles and falls into Trey's chest.]
TV: Go ahead.
Ted: (Reading) That prick! He wasn’t supposed to tell THAT!
TV: Everyone knows he's sexist. Hey, Sil. In case you haven't noticed a few other things...Scatman's covered in poo. Axl's a fag. And The Great's horny for Sarah.
StJS: Woohoo!
TV: If you need any more help, contact our old buddy Captain Obvious. Go on, Ted.
Ted: (Reading) Trey is playing dirty! I mean, James Varga promos? That’s beyond competitive spirit! What’s his angle in all this?
TV: My angle? I'm a Sarah mark. You already got Kid Pirate, so BOB needs a face figurehead. Simple as that.
Ted: (Reading) WHAT?! A quarter? That unimaginable bastard…that's made of gold and has diamonds on it!
TV: Oh, really? Well then...
[Trey begins laying dollar bills on the railing.]
TV: I'd rather pay some random girl for shaking her pussy in my face than giving you anything over...50 cents. Think about it. That's like...150 percent more than you have right now! Call me!
Ted: (Reading) Heidi? What the hell is going on here? Would Trey sell me out for another round with Sarah?
TV: Another round with Sarah? Nah. I've got new model Sarah here. She's younger, she looks like Kristen Stewart, and aside from that, The Great has told me nonverbally that he wants to hit that (he says pointing at the Jobber Slaying Sarah). I'm not gonna stand in his way. Aside from all that, The Great speaks in third person. And we all know Trey Vincent is a mark for cool faces who talk in third person.
Ted: (Reading) Sil spits out his orange juice. WHAT?! YOUR TITLE? And people think I’M insane? Sarah, you stupid, stupid little girl… I’VE ALREADY BEATEN YOU!
TV: I sense a diatribe. Hold on, Ted. Plants, let's be brutally honest here, shall we. There's only one reason YOU even got that title and didn't end up retired. And that's thanks to ME. Back in the day, Kamikazie Ken used to influence the outcomes of ONLY WORLD TITLE THAT MATTERS matches, but now Trey Vincent is that man. I defeated Bohemoth for the OWTTM. I lost the title to Kurt Angel, thus, influencing it's direction. Then I lost to Hardcore JJ. Then I became an alcoholic and who the fuck knows what happened from 2003-2007 or so.
TV: Fast forward to 2008. The iAd destroyed XXXtreme Machine, allowing Death to get the title. Then, I turned on my dead buddy and helped Sarah win her second title. I was even involved when Studnuts defeated Sarah for the title. Not to mention a little event called MegaBrawl II, where your CAREER was on the line, and who saved your crusty old ass? Trey Vincent. I beat Steve Studnuts! You pinned him. Don't forget THAT! Trey Vincent is the reason why you are now the champion. That, and the EOD is protecting that title like any good stable should.
TV: You will lose again some day.
StJS: LOSER!
[Sarah's head thumps down on the table.]
TV: All I know is that after all this excitement, I need to get you into bed and go ANAL.
StW: Cool. What about Sarah?
TV: I had invited The Great here. Hopefully he'll show up. And if he does, his handler has my permission to write as a drunken Sarah.
[The fully-clothed waitress returns with more shots. Trey grabs all three and downs them quickly. He hands the waitress a wad of cash and her cell phone back.]
TV: Thanksh, honey! Do me a favorrrr. Keep her safe, willa ya?
FCW: Sure.
TV: Some Keanu Reeves lookin' dude with a pony tail might stop by to drive her home or to a seedy motel. Or he might not. If he doesn't show up, get her a cab.
[Trey hands her some more cash. Trey slaps her on the ass and walks out with Sarah the Waitress.]
StJS: Brain floaty...hee...
[Fade to blur.]
StJS: Where did everybody go?
FCW: Hey, why don't you come with me to the VIP area.
StJS: You're pretty. Gravity is a meaniehead.
[Fade to black.]
TV: Go for it, Sarah. You've earned it.
Sarah The Jobber Slayer: (Shrugs) What else am I going to do? Brag about winning a title from a site that has 12 visitors a day? I thinkest notest!
[Sarah downs the shot.]
TV: Me. Ow!
Sarah the Waitress: What's that, the BOB site?
TV: Well...
StJS: Yeah, actually. (Scratches head)
TV: We need more shots!
StW: And boobies. It's been like one minute since the last girl stopped dancing on the main stage.
TV: We should get a private lapdance.
StW: But...I don't wanna leave Sarah alone. It's like...creep central here.
StJS: I concur! Don't leave me alone. (Pouts)
TV: BOOOOOO!
FCW: What?
TV: Why aren't you more nakeder? *Hic*
FCW: Ah, but you forget that I can bring you more booze!
TV: Huzzuh! Bring us some shots. Surprise us.
FCW: You got it. Oh, by the way...I know this makes zero sense, but you should check the Rant Zone. Here, you can borrow my phone.
[The fully-clothed waitress hands Trey her phone. She winks at him and walks away to get some booze. Trey dials some digits.]
TV: Ted? Hey dude. I need you to read me whatever Dr. Silaconne M. Plants posted about me in the Rant Zone. Oh, what are you eating?... Is it good? ... Are you alone? Well, that's what microwaves are for. ... You don't own a microwave? Well, then, go out and buy a lighter and be really patient and hold each bite of food over the tiny flame to heat it up, what do I care? Just do it, underling.
StW: What a prick!
TV: Thanks for noticing.
[Sarah the Waitress giggles and falls into Trey's chest.]
TV: Go ahead.
Ted: (Reading) That prick! He wasn’t supposed to tell THAT!
TV: Everyone knows he's sexist. Hey, Sil. In case you haven't noticed a few other things...Scatman's covered in poo. Axl's a fag. And The Great's horny for Sarah.
StJS: Woohoo!
TV: If you need any more help, contact our old buddy Captain Obvious. Go on, Ted.
Ted: (Reading) Trey is playing dirty! I mean, James Varga promos? That’s beyond competitive spirit! What’s his angle in all this?
TV: My angle? I'm a Sarah mark. You already got Kid Pirate, so BOB needs a face figurehead. Simple as that.
Ted: (Reading) WHAT?! A quarter? That unimaginable bastard…that's made of gold and has diamonds on it!
TV: Oh, really? Well then...
[Trey begins laying dollar bills on the railing.]
TV: I'd rather pay some random girl for shaking her pussy in my face than giving you anything over...50 cents. Think about it. That's like...150 percent more than you have right now! Call me!
Ted: (Reading) Heidi? What the hell is going on here? Would Trey sell me out for another round with Sarah?
TV: Another round with Sarah? Nah. I've got new model Sarah here. She's younger, she looks like Kristen Stewart, and aside from that, The Great has told me nonverbally that he wants to hit that (he says pointing at the Jobber Slaying Sarah). I'm not gonna stand in his way. Aside from all that, The Great speaks in third person. And we all know Trey Vincent is a mark for cool faces who talk in third person.
Ted: (Reading) Sil spits out his orange juice. WHAT?! YOUR TITLE? And people think I’M insane? Sarah, you stupid, stupid little girl… I’VE ALREADY BEATEN YOU!
TV: I sense a diatribe. Hold on, Ted. Plants, let's be brutally honest here, shall we. There's only one reason YOU even got that title and didn't end up retired. And that's thanks to ME. Back in the day, Kamikazie Ken used to influence the outcomes of ONLY WORLD TITLE THAT MATTERS matches, but now Trey Vincent is that man. I defeated Bohemoth for the OWTTM. I lost the title to Kurt Angel, thus, influencing it's direction. Then I lost to Hardcore JJ. Then I became an alcoholic and who the fuck knows what happened from 2003-2007 or so.
TV: Fast forward to 2008. The iAd destroyed XXXtreme Machine, allowing Death to get the title. Then, I turned on my dead buddy and helped Sarah win her second title. I was even involved when Studnuts defeated Sarah for the title. Not to mention a little event called MegaBrawl II, where your CAREER was on the line, and who saved your crusty old ass? Trey Vincent. I beat Steve Studnuts! You pinned him. Don't forget THAT! Trey Vincent is the reason why you are now the champion. That, and the EOD is protecting that title like any good stable should.
TV: You will lose again some day.
StJS: LOSER!
[Sarah's head thumps down on the table.]
TV: All I know is that after all this excitement, I need to get you into bed and go ANAL.
StW: Cool. What about Sarah?
TV: I had invited The Great here. Hopefully he'll show up. And if he does, his handler has my permission to write as a drunken Sarah.
[The fully-clothed waitress returns with more shots. Trey grabs all three and downs them quickly. He hands the waitress a wad of cash and her cell phone back.]
TV: Thanksh, honey! Do me a favorrrr. Keep her safe, willa ya?
FCW: Sure.
TV: Some Keanu Reeves lookin' dude with a pony tail might stop by to drive her home or to a seedy motel. Or he might not. If he doesn't show up, get her a cab.
[Trey hands her some more cash. Trey slaps her on the ass and walks out with Sarah the Waitress.]
StJS: Brain floaty...hee...
[Fade to blur.]
StJS: Where did everybody go?
FCW: Hey, why don't you come with me to the VIP area.
StJS: You're pretty. Gravity is a meaniehead.
[Fade to black.]
