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Post by jerri on Apr 1, 2009 13:00:52 GMT -5
[Jerri Li is sat in a bamboo chair, sipping at a hot cup of green tea and munching pork dumplings. She is visiting her Grandmother, to get away from Scatman’s April Fool’s Day shenanigans. She didn’t mind the ceran wrap over the toilet bowl or the shit he stuffed in the exhaust pipe of St. Christian’s mercury, but the replacement of Count Chocula with bird droppings had been the last straw.]
Grandma Li: Yoo rike dumpling Geraldine?
[Jerri rolls her eyes.]
Jerri: Grandmother, please don’t call me Geraldine anymore. It’s Jerri.
Grandma Li: Yoo want eggroll Geraldine? I get yoo eggroll!
Jerri: Jesus Christ Grandmother, you’re from New Jersey!
[Grandma Li waddles off to get some store bought eggrolls. As soon as she is out of the room Jerri starts fidgeting in her seat. She tries rubbing the cup against her skin, but it is barely even luke warm. She thinks about stuffing dumplings down her throat until she chokes, but she only has two left. She sighs and resorts to jamming her finger as far up her nose as she can. A few minutes later Grandma Li returns with a plate of eggrolls.]
Grandma Li: Geraldine! Yoo nose bleed! Me get paper towel! Made of rice paper!!
[Jerri holds her head in her hands.]
Jerri: I hate Scatman.
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