Post by dave on Jun 1, 2010 17:30:18 GMT -5
NH: The following contest is a six-man tag team match scheduled for one fall!
[“Spiritual Savagery” by Vomitorial Corpulence plays.]
NH: Introducing first… Jerri Li, Scatman & Christian St. Christian; The Fetish Freaks!
Styles: I’m not sure I even want to commentate on a match involving these three sickos anymore.
SW: Jerri’s fucking hot though.
Styles: She doesn’t even have sex Scotty, she only gets off on pain!
SW: Yeah, I know… eye candy’s eye candy though. Scatman grosses me out sometimes, and St. Christian is a self sucking faggot, but Jerri is a fun, hot and VIOLENT wrestler… even against the big boys.
[“Skeletons Of Society” by Slayer plays.]
NH: And their opponents, the number one stable in BOB history… Trey Vincent, Steve Studnuts & Seth Harker… THE INCURABLE APATHY DISORDER!
SW: No fucking way!
[Steve Studnuts walks ahead of his teammates with a mocking smile on his face. He adjusts his gray sweat pants and muscles his way into the ring.]
Styles: Steve Studnuts curls the top of his lip at the Freaks and climbs to the top rope, the fans giving him a huge pop as he raises his arms in the air.
SW: This match is weird, both teams are faces for being heels.
Styles: I’m not entirely sure the Fetish Freaks could ever be described as face.
[The bell rings.]
Styles: Here we go folks! Studnuts and the much smaller Scatman starting this match out. Studnuts blows snot out both of his nostrils and flexes his muscles.
Studnuts: I don’t want you, I want HIM!
[He points at St. Christian.]
CSC: Yeah?
[Studnuts makes a mock jerking off motion and laughs.]
Studnuts: Yeah you, you fucking bitch.
Styles: Scatman tags out to St. Christian. Here we go folks! Studnuts and St. Christian locks horn with a collar and elbow tie up. Studnuts knees him in the crotch and slams him down HARD with a spinebuster. He stands over him and waves his hands in front of his eyes.
Studnuts: You can’t be me!
Styles: Fuck Knuckle Shuffle! 1, 2, and no! St. Christian rolls the shoulder up in time.
TV: Tag me in, I want a piece of this fag too!
[Studnuts snickers.]
Styles: Studnuts roughs St. Christian up and lifts him by the legs. Runs and drives him into the turnbuckles. He follows up with a series of powerful shoulders to the midsection.
Scatman: Come on Christian, suck it up buddy!
Styles: Studnuts lifts him again and throws him over his shoulder into the mat with a mountain bomb.
TV: Tag me in already!
Studnuts: Fine… you wanna beat on this homo too?
Styles: Studnuts makes the tag to Trey Vincent.
SW: I can’t believe this match is happening.
Styles: Trey Vincent copies St. Christian’s arsenal and double stomps him in the stomach. He then runs up and elbows both Jerri and Scatman out onto the floor.
[The fans boo.]
Styles: Trey hooks St. Christian up and lands a spinning neckbreaker. He starts ascending the ropes and looks back over his shoulder… diving elbow drop to the heart! 1, 2, no! He almost had him, but St. Christian kicked out before three!
[Trey shrugs his shoulders at the easy competition and tags Seth Harker into the match.]
Styles: St. Christian is getting manhandled!
SW: The Fetish Freaks are a strong team, but nowhere near as strong as the iAd. Christian St. Christian is one of the reasons why.
Styles: Seth Harker with a slow motion standing shooting star press on the crush fetishist! 1, 2, and thre… NO! St. Christian has his foot on the rope!
[Seth Harker brushes off his leather coat.]
Styles: St. Christian is clawing his way towards his tag partners. Seth Harker turns a blind eye and chats with his teammates.
[St. Christian tags out to Jerri Li. Seth Harker looks over his shoulder and smiles.]
SH: Oh, ok.
Styles: Seth and Jerri lock horns with a collar and elbow. Seth turns it into a top wristlock, quickly grabs the wrist and turns it into a hammerlock. Seth dodges a back elbow from Jerri and wrenches on the hold tighter. Jerri reaches her free arm up and over, clasping around Seth’s neck, and takes him over with a headlock takedown. She tries to keep the hold locked in, but Seth kips up out of it and spins on his heels, diving at Jerri and trapping her in a scarf hold. Jerri tries to struggle out of it, but the hold is locked in too tight.
SW: Seth Harker has no ring rust whatsoever.
Styles: Jerri hops her back up and down towards the ropes and holds on tight when she gets there. Seth breaks the hold immediately and stands. Soccer kick delivered to the spine sharply, Seth then lifts Jerri up into a reverse waistlock. German suplex attempt countered by Jerri into a rollup, but they are too close to the ropes. Jerri dives away to her corner and makes the tag to Scatman.
SW: This wont be good, Scatman doesn’t have a technical bone in his body.
Styles: Seth Harker is up and we have a staredown! Seth slaps the taste out of Scatman’s mouth and rolls him up with a small package. 1, 2, and Scatman manages to kick out!
[Seth pinches his nose from the smell and makes the tag to Trey Vincent.]
Styles: Trey is in and stomps away at Scatman. He hauls him up by the waist, Scatman’s legs wrapped around his, and takes him up and over with a wheelbarrow suplex. 1, 2, and no!
SW: I still can’t believe this match is happening.
Styles: Trey drops a leg and covers again. Gets a two count only.
TV: Come on ref; 1, 2, 3!
Styles: As Trey roughs the referee up, Scatman defecates into his own hand. He goes to slap it across the back of Trey’s head, but Trey anticipates the attack and hooks around his thighs backfirst and lifts him up. Scatman slaps the shit into the side of Trey’s head repeatedly as he is driven back first into the turnbuckles.
[Trey wipes the feces away.]
TV: You’re gonna pay for that big time!
Styles: Trey with a lariat nearly crushes the windpipe of Scatman. He hooks around his neck and hauls him up onto the second rope. Trey follows after him and punches Scatman so hard he breaks his frickin nose. Trey hooks up again aaand… superplex from the top rope! Trey claws at the side of his face, desperately trying to cleanse himself, as he tags Studnuts back into the match.
TV: Fuck him up Studnuts, I’ve had it up to here with these douchebags.
Styles: Studnuts does a Flair strut and drops a huge elbow to the chest of Scatman. He turns him over and sets him up for a powerbomb, but St. Christian and Jerri storm into the ring and kick him right out of the ring.
SW: Studnuts is fucking pissed.
Styles: Seth Harker is up on the top rope and takes Jerri down with a plancha!
SW: That was picture perfect!
Styles: Trey comes in but gets taken down by a big boot by St. Christian. The self proclaimed ninja-gimp jumps into the air and brings his knees up high before delivering a VICIOUS double stomp to the chest. He then climbs the ropes and flips the audience the bird… moonsaults off the top rope, Ultimate Crush to the heart of Trey Vincent!
[Steve Studnuts slides a table into the ring.]
SW: Studnuts, like a wild fucking animal, kicks every fucking person including his own teammates out of the ring; except Scatman. He sets up the table before lifting Scatman up onto his shoulders. He spits at the crowd. DEATH VALLEY (OF THE SUN) DRIVER THROUGH THE TABLE! 1, 2, 3!
Studnuts: How do you like that? You’re flavor of the fucking year is a shithead that sucks himself off! Put that in your pipe and smoke it!
[He throws the mic at the canvas with a loud thud.]
NH: The winner of this match… Trey Vincent, Steve Studnuts & Seth Harker; The iAd!!!
[Trey Vincent, Jerri Li, Seth Harker & Christian St. Christian continue to brawl on the outside, oblivious to the outcome of the match.]
[“Spiritual Savagery” by Vomitorial Corpulence plays.]
NH: Introducing first… Jerri Li, Scatman & Christian St. Christian; The Fetish Freaks!
Styles: I’m not sure I even want to commentate on a match involving these three sickos anymore.
SW: Jerri’s fucking hot though.
Styles: She doesn’t even have sex Scotty, she only gets off on pain!
SW: Yeah, I know… eye candy’s eye candy though. Scatman grosses me out sometimes, and St. Christian is a self sucking faggot, but Jerri is a fun, hot and VIOLENT wrestler… even against the big boys.
[“Skeletons Of Society” by Slayer plays.]
NH: And their opponents, the number one stable in BOB history… Trey Vincent, Steve Studnuts & Seth Harker… THE INCURABLE APATHY DISORDER!
SW: No fucking way!
[Steve Studnuts walks ahead of his teammates with a mocking smile on his face. He adjusts his gray sweat pants and muscles his way into the ring.]
Styles: Steve Studnuts curls the top of his lip at the Freaks and climbs to the top rope, the fans giving him a huge pop as he raises his arms in the air.
SW: This match is weird, both teams are faces for being heels.
Styles: I’m not entirely sure the Fetish Freaks could ever be described as face.
[The bell rings.]
Styles: Here we go folks! Studnuts and the much smaller Scatman starting this match out. Studnuts blows snot out both of his nostrils and flexes his muscles.
Studnuts: I don’t want you, I want HIM!
[He points at St. Christian.]
CSC: Yeah?
[Studnuts makes a mock jerking off motion and laughs.]
Studnuts: Yeah you, you fucking bitch.
Styles: Scatman tags out to St. Christian. Here we go folks! Studnuts and St. Christian locks horn with a collar and elbow tie up. Studnuts knees him in the crotch and slams him down HARD with a spinebuster. He stands over him and waves his hands in front of his eyes.
Studnuts: You can’t be me!
Styles: Fuck Knuckle Shuffle! 1, 2, and no! St. Christian rolls the shoulder up in time.
TV: Tag me in, I want a piece of this fag too!
[Studnuts snickers.]
Styles: Studnuts roughs St. Christian up and lifts him by the legs. Runs and drives him into the turnbuckles. He follows up with a series of powerful shoulders to the midsection.
Scatman: Come on Christian, suck it up buddy!
Styles: Studnuts lifts him again and throws him over his shoulder into the mat with a mountain bomb.
TV: Tag me in already!
Studnuts: Fine… you wanna beat on this homo too?
Styles: Studnuts makes the tag to Trey Vincent.
SW: I can’t believe this match is happening.
Styles: Trey Vincent copies St. Christian’s arsenal and double stomps him in the stomach. He then runs up and elbows both Jerri and Scatman out onto the floor.
[The fans boo.]
Styles: Trey hooks St. Christian up and lands a spinning neckbreaker. He starts ascending the ropes and looks back over his shoulder… diving elbow drop to the heart! 1, 2, no! He almost had him, but St. Christian kicked out before three!
[Trey shrugs his shoulders at the easy competition and tags Seth Harker into the match.]
Styles: St. Christian is getting manhandled!
SW: The Fetish Freaks are a strong team, but nowhere near as strong as the iAd. Christian St. Christian is one of the reasons why.
Styles: Seth Harker with a slow motion standing shooting star press on the crush fetishist! 1, 2, and thre… NO! St. Christian has his foot on the rope!
[Seth Harker brushes off his leather coat.]
Styles: St. Christian is clawing his way towards his tag partners. Seth Harker turns a blind eye and chats with his teammates.
[St. Christian tags out to Jerri Li. Seth Harker looks over his shoulder and smiles.]
SH: Oh, ok.
Styles: Seth and Jerri lock horns with a collar and elbow. Seth turns it into a top wristlock, quickly grabs the wrist and turns it into a hammerlock. Seth dodges a back elbow from Jerri and wrenches on the hold tighter. Jerri reaches her free arm up and over, clasping around Seth’s neck, and takes him over with a headlock takedown. She tries to keep the hold locked in, but Seth kips up out of it and spins on his heels, diving at Jerri and trapping her in a scarf hold. Jerri tries to struggle out of it, but the hold is locked in too tight.
SW: Seth Harker has no ring rust whatsoever.
Styles: Jerri hops her back up and down towards the ropes and holds on tight when she gets there. Seth breaks the hold immediately and stands. Soccer kick delivered to the spine sharply, Seth then lifts Jerri up into a reverse waistlock. German suplex attempt countered by Jerri into a rollup, but they are too close to the ropes. Jerri dives away to her corner and makes the tag to Scatman.
SW: This wont be good, Scatman doesn’t have a technical bone in his body.
Styles: Seth Harker is up and we have a staredown! Seth slaps the taste out of Scatman’s mouth and rolls him up with a small package. 1, 2, and Scatman manages to kick out!
[Seth pinches his nose from the smell and makes the tag to Trey Vincent.]
Styles: Trey is in and stomps away at Scatman. He hauls him up by the waist, Scatman’s legs wrapped around his, and takes him up and over with a wheelbarrow suplex. 1, 2, and no!
SW: I still can’t believe this match is happening.
Styles: Trey drops a leg and covers again. Gets a two count only.
TV: Come on ref; 1, 2, 3!
Styles: As Trey roughs the referee up, Scatman defecates into his own hand. He goes to slap it across the back of Trey’s head, but Trey anticipates the attack and hooks around his thighs backfirst and lifts him up. Scatman slaps the shit into the side of Trey’s head repeatedly as he is driven back first into the turnbuckles.
[Trey wipes the feces away.]
TV: You’re gonna pay for that big time!
Styles: Trey with a lariat nearly crushes the windpipe of Scatman. He hooks around his neck and hauls him up onto the second rope. Trey follows after him and punches Scatman so hard he breaks his frickin nose. Trey hooks up again aaand… superplex from the top rope! Trey claws at the side of his face, desperately trying to cleanse himself, as he tags Studnuts back into the match.
TV: Fuck him up Studnuts, I’ve had it up to here with these douchebags.
Styles: Studnuts does a Flair strut and drops a huge elbow to the chest of Scatman. He turns him over and sets him up for a powerbomb, but St. Christian and Jerri storm into the ring and kick him right out of the ring.
SW: Studnuts is fucking pissed.
Styles: Seth Harker is up on the top rope and takes Jerri down with a plancha!
SW: That was picture perfect!
Styles: Trey comes in but gets taken down by a big boot by St. Christian. The self proclaimed ninja-gimp jumps into the air and brings his knees up high before delivering a VICIOUS double stomp to the chest. He then climbs the ropes and flips the audience the bird… moonsaults off the top rope, Ultimate Crush to the heart of Trey Vincent!
[Steve Studnuts slides a table into the ring.]
SW: Studnuts, like a wild fucking animal, kicks every fucking person including his own teammates out of the ring; except Scatman. He sets up the table before lifting Scatman up onto his shoulders. He spits at the crowd. DEATH VALLEY (OF THE SUN) DRIVER THROUGH THE TABLE! 1, 2, 3!
Studnuts: How do you like that? You’re flavor of the fucking year is a shithead that sucks himself off! Put that in your pipe and smoke it!
[He throws the mic at the canvas with a loud thud.]
NH: The winner of this match… Trey Vincent, Steve Studnuts & Seth Harker; The iAd!!!
[Trey Vincent, Jerri Li, Seth Harker & Christian St. Christian continue to brawl on the outside, oblivious to the outcome of the match.]