Post by hamstergirl on Aug 21, 2009 15:00:11 GMT -5
[Hamster Girl, the only superstar signed by former BOB employee Dave Smiley other than Scatman, is on a date at a coffee shop with a handsome looking guy with a tan and a cowboy hat. He kinda looks like a dorky mix of Ashton Kutcher and Christian Bale. He is devouring a plate of barbecue ribs like a Hyena as Hamster Girl enjoys a piece of Pecan Pie and a glass of lime soda.]
Waitress: Refill?
HG: Thanks!
Greg The Cowboy: You’re supposed to have coffee at a coffee house.
HG: Hey, this is my favorite place! The reason is the choice, beyond coffee.
Greg: Not even a cappuccino?
HG: Don’t judge me!
Greg: Sorry.
HG: You better be sorry mister!
[Greg rips a chunk of flesh from his plate with his teeth.]
HG: Dude, what are you an animal?
Greg: Umm, yeah? Aren’t you a hamster?
[Hamtser Girl frowns like this >:(]
HG: Sorry cowboy, I’m not digging this date anymore. I like attention, but only for the right reasons.
[She coughs cutely to clear her hoarse throat.]
Greg: Sorry, I’m a carnivore. If it’s any consolation I didn’t aim my bad table manners at you… I realize now though I should be more careful.
HG: You hot damn right you should be!
Greg: I don’t want to hurt the feelings of someone I actually like.
[Hamster Girl takes a half hearted bite of pie.]
HG: Ok, ok. You could try a little harder though. I’m not just T&A for you to make eyes at, ya know?
Greg: Will you still go out with me? You’re such a cute, sexy, fiery little lynx. I really want to go steady with you.
HG: You’re scraping by dude, by the skin of your teeth. I wanted to be uplifted by this date, not get down dumps. The company I work for is failing and I can’t work anywhere else… I’ll just get beaten up by a guy called Chris Storm no matter where I go.
Greg: Cute.
HG: You’re paying for this lunch though buster brown!
Greg: Ok. I’ll have to sell off some tins of paint or something to afford it, but I don’t mind. You can twist my arm.
HG: Damn right! Wait, what? You’re an artist?
Greg: Sort of. Maybe an anti-artist.
HG: You mean like the anti-christ?
Greg: Um, maybe not that bad.
HG: Phew. Although, I think either that Jerri girl or Scatman has the market on the anti-christ thing.
Greg: There’s a market for that?
HG: Nope. Not one bit. BOB has always been ahead of the trend though. WWE will have an asian that takes headbumps, a gimp that stomps people and a guy covered in shit in no time though.
Greg: Don’t they already have that?
HG: They have a wrestler that shits and vomits on his opponents?
Greg: No, the other two.
HG: Gail Kim isn’t a masochist dude. Besides, if they were trying to be cool they’d have a super uber cute babe in a pink hamster costume making everybody blueberry pies and rose perfume.
Greg: I can already see it: making her RAW debut; Gerbil Girl!
HG: That’s not funny.
Waitress: Refill?
HG: Thanks!
Greg The Cowboy: You’re supposed to have coffee at a coffee house.
HG: Hey, this is my favorite place! The reason is the choice, beyond coffee.
Greg: Not even a cappuccino?
HG: Don’t judge me!
Greg: Sorry.
HG: You better be sorry mister!
[Greg rips a chunk of flesh from his plate with his teeth.]
HG: Dude, what are you an animal?
Greg: Umm, yeah? Aren’t you a hamster?
[Hamtser Girl frowns like this >:(]
HG: Sorry cowboy, I’m not digging this date anymore. I like attention, but only for the right reasons.
[She coughs cutely to clear her hoarse throat.]
Greg: Sorry, I’m a carnivore. If it’s any consolation I didn’t aim my bad table manners at you… I realize now though I should be more careful.
HG: You hot damn right you should be!
Greg: I don’t want to hurt the feelings of someone I actually like.
[Hamster Girl takes a half hearted bite of pie.]
HG: Ok, ok. You could try a little harder though. I’m not just T&A for you to make eyes at, ya know?
Greg: Will you still go out with me? You’re such a cute, sexy, fiery little lynx. I really want to go steady with you.
HG: You’re scraping by dude, by the skin of your teeth. I wanted to be uplifted by this date, not get down dumps. The company I work for is failing and I can’t work anywhere else… I’ll just get beaten up by a guy called Chris Storm no matter where I go.
Greg: Cute.
HG: You’re paying for this lunch though buster brown!
Greg: Ok. I’ll have to sell off some tins of paint or something to afford it, but I don’t mind. You can twist my arm.
HG: Damn right! Wait, what? You’re an artist?
Greg: Sort of. Maybe an anti-artist.
HG: You mean like the anti-christ?
Greg: Um, maybe not that bad.
HG: Phew. Although, I think either that Jerri girl or Scatman has the market on the anti-christ thing.
Greg: There’s a market for that?
HG: Nope. Not one bit. BOB has always been ahead of the trend though. WWE will have an asian that takes headbumps, a gimp that stomps people and a guy covered in shit in no time though.
Greg: Don’t they already have that?
HG: They have a wrestler that shits and vomits on his opponents?
Greg: No, the other two.
HG: Gail Kim isn’t a masochist dude. Besides, if they were trying to be cool they’d have a super uber cute babe in a pink hamster costume making everybody blueberry pies and rose perfume.
Greg: I can already see it: making her RAW debut; Gerbil Girl!
HG: That’s not funny.