Post by @xL on Sept 12, 2007 0:40:03 GMT -5
:: Tuesday, September 11th, 2007 - 9:11 p.m. ::
~ Location: The Twin Towers of Pizza - Nowhere, Oklahoma ~
[It is the 6th anniversary of the New York attacks on the World Trade Center. We open to a pizza parlor in north east Nowhere, where customers are enjoying a nice slice of pie. Suddenly, the door barges open, and a brown skinned man in a tan robe, white turban, and scruffy beard, walks in, and throws his hands in the air, screaming obscenities in a foreign language. He walks toward the cashier's register, and slams a fist to the counter.]
Yomama Bin Jobbin: Blahddy blah de joo joo bean lalee flibbidy greeneggsandham!!!
Cashier: Er... could you repeat that order?
Yomama: Jingle bingle gingerbreadman pitter patter foo foo poo poo ding dong doodlewop!!!
Cashier: ... Huh?
[Suddenly, the door swings open once more, and in comes... Hacksaw Jim Duggan? Wait, no, it's - Axl Dim Lightbulb!!! The 2x4 swinging patriot wears a pair of blue shorts, black boots, no shirt, a fake beard, and his hair is dyed dark brown. ADL lifts up a thumb as he carries an American flag over his shoulder with great pride. ADL lets out a mighty "HOOO!", as the pizza stuffing customers let out... a few burps. While others just simply leave the pizza place for fear of what craziness may be about to go down.]
Axl: LISTEN UP, TOUGH GUY!!! I dunno what kindsa sick little things you may-ah done back in your Afghanimastanny or whatever, but right here, we don't go around screwin' camels in the backside! No siree bob, not here in the good ol'... U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-AAA!!! Nope, just ask any good, honest, American farmer! They'll tell ya, that's why God invented sheep! Bucko, if you think you're just gonna walk into this land and take home a few virgins for your harem or whatever, well THINK AGAIN, TOUGH GUYYY!!! Because here in the good ol' U S of A, there ain't no such THING as a virgin! That is, unless they're fond of Star Trek or Star Wars or Star Gate or Star... whatever! ... TOUGH GUYYYYY!!!
Yomama: Oo Ee Oo Ah Ah Ing Ang Wallah Wallah Bing Bang!!!
[Yomama begins jabbing Axl in the chest with his forefinger, hollering in his language, as Axl simply looks down at the finger poking him... before looking up into Yomama's eyes... and sending a fist flying toward the turban-wearing pizza place intruder. BUT... as soon as the fist is about to come in contact with Yomama, the guy grabs Axl's fist. Axl tries a punch with the other fist... but fails once again. With both fists captured by Yomama, Bin Jobbin kicks Axl square in the nuts... and Axl lets out a loud "HOOOOOOOOO!!!", as he grabs his testicles and falls to the floor.]
[Yomama reaches into his robe, and pulls out... a 2x4. He drops it at Axl's feet.]
Yomama: Now DAS'... Da Bomb. ... Get it? Bomb? 9-11? HAHAHAHA, I crack me up...
[Yomama Bin Jobbin walks out of the parlor, as the camera fades out on Axl holding his wood tightly in his fist...]
~ rock on ~
\oo/_ OvO _\oo/
~ rock on