Post by @xL on Aug 28, 2007 0:08:42 GMT -5
:: Saturday, July 21st, 2006 ::
It was the best of days... It was the worst of days.
It was the beginning... and the end.
Where one door had closed... another was just opening.
And his day... was fast approaching.
On this day, our Savior looked upon the land of BoB...
And he saw it was bland, and... kinda boring.
It was time... for a new leader.
>>> <<<
"I'M the future of this business, baby! And now, there ain't nothin' holdin' me down. I've split up with Rose. I've dropped my agent, What's-his-face. I've sold WCWF, and as for this New Age CRAP?! The only music that's truly in my blood... the music that's been there all along... is the beat of Metal. Rock n' Roll Forever, b!tches!!! The Swiss Army belt... it's coming to me. The other 15 men in Sunday's Battle Royale? May as well take a rain check. The Rock-O-Lution has begun."
"Are you ready?"
- The Book of GwarTellicus, Chapter Eleventeen...
:: January - 2007 ::
He walked into the Battle of Royale.
He charged through many... and lasted till there were few.
In the end, he lost the battle...
But twas only the beginning... of the war.
>>> <<<
"Some days... you wake up. You take a shower... and you think you're ready for the day. Today... I got up, took a shower... and now? I know. I know I'm ready for today... tomorrow... the next day... Hell. 2007 is going to be the year. THE year. The year... of the Rock-O-Lution."
"Are you ready?"
- The Book of GwarTellicus, Chapter Zero-hundred...
:: April - 2007 ::
His ascension truly began.
His power began to take hold.
The doubters... Some continued to doubt. Others...
Others began to Believe.
Taking firm grasp of the gold of the Swiss Army, our savior moved onward...
>>> <<<
:: July - 2007 ::
For he knew no dying... Death being nothing more than a sheep in wolf's clothing.
The Lord of All Lords freely gave of his Swiss Army gold...
Only to begin taking the final step in the journey of the Rock-O-Lution.
Noone can step in the way of a God on a mission.
Especially when that God...
Is named Axl VanHalen.
>>> <<<
One year. Spent fighting for, winning, and losing, the Swiss Army Belt... spent creating, and ending, his own wrestling promotions, for no more reason than to boost his own ego... spent writing and performing his own music, bringing back the hard edged sound of the hardest rock around - Hair Metal. One year. Spent devising the master plan to take down BoB's best talent: Trey Vincent... Seth Harker... Steve Studnuts... the Snapmare Kid. And in the end, after all the jobber feds, hair metal, Swiss Army Belt hoopla, and waffle laden shenanigans, Axl VanHalen's journey cullminated with his goal accomplished... In quite possibly THE greatest swerve... ever.
MM: Look at this. Mano is trying to use Generic Ref to help him get up. Zeno looks to be ready to finally finish off the challenger.
Styles: What is SHE doing out here? Anne O'Rexic has just come in the ring to come face to face with her alleged baby daddy!
MM: Look out from behind.
[Nikki Mantle winds up and delivers an underhanded...]
Styles: Testicular claw to Zeno. OH my GOD!
MM: Zeno with a wicked elbow to the side of Mantle's head. Mano's up.
Styles: HOODANCANRANA. MANO HOLDS ON! ONE! TWO! THREE! HE GOT 'IM!
MM: He did?
Styles: Insano Mano won. He WON! History has been made here tonight! Insano Mano has done the impossible! He has won the ONLY WORLD TITLE THAT MATTERS. A young man who put his body on the line for little to no pay in Suicida Mexico, now has made it all the way to the top while making little to no money for Brawlers On a Budget in Sin City!
MM: Zeno is chasing off Generic Ref. He can't believe it. And frankly, neither can I.
Styles: The odds were stacked against him. Beaten earlier, and drunk on tequila, he somehow STILL managed to beat Sir Zeno!
NH: Here is the winner of the match....and....NEW BOB ONLY WORLD CHAMPION THAT MATTERS....Insano Mano!
Crowd: BOOOOOOO!
[The ring is being bombed with trash and drinks.]
Styles: Where's the riot squad when you need them.
MM: Mano is asking for the microphone...
IM: Qué puede yo dice pero....
Styles: Wait a second...
[Mano rips off the mask.]
Axl Van Halen: FUCK. YOU. ALL! GOOD NIGHT SIN CITY!
[Cut to Sir Zeno's shocked face. Fade to black with DEAFENING boos.]
>>> <<<
:: Monday, August 27th, 2007 - 6:13 p.m. ::
~ Location: The BoB BallRoom... Sin City ~
[It is a couple of days after Mano e Zeno. The fans are gone... the BoB'sters are gone... except for one. The former leader of the Rock-O-Lution... and now? Simply... Your Savior.]
[Axl sits on a corner post, holding the big gold belt in his lap... as he looks down at it in his hands. He breaths in, before letting out a big sigh. The camera zooms in a bit, and we find that the letters "GNA" have been wiped clean from beneath the BoB logo...]
Axl: My dream... to be on top of the world... looking down at all those below me... It's finally been realized. So why... why do I feel so empty...
[The camera slowly pans around... where the focus had at first been on the back of Axl's head, we close in to a closer shot of Axl's face... He continues to look dow at the belt... before lifting his head... revealing the most sinister, ugly, vicous smirk ever presented by a human being. Axl smiles... but a smile devoid of joy... happiness... yet not a fake smile. A smile simply dripping with evil intentions... Axl's eyes... glinting terrifyingly in the dim light of the empty arena. Axl's hair, seemingly flowing in the wind... but the question is - what wind?]
Axl: Emptiness... a feeling that many have... for many reasons. For me? It's quite simple... I haven't had a bite to eat since those damn burritos! *rim shot* But seriously folks... Yes, after one whole year of clawing my way up the ranks... I've reached the top. But in all truthfulness, I do have a bit of... uneasiness. Because after the long, sordid travel to claim this title as my own, I am left with one question... [Axl tosses the title over his shoulder] Now that the journey to the top is over... where do I go from here?
Axl: I tried doing what I've done for so long, putting together a tiny fed here in Nowhere, OK, so that I have some easy competitio to plow through. But the truth is, that never worked... and probably never will. It doesn't draw the fans to me. I know what does though. It's not the matches against crappy wrestlers not associated with BoB. It's the CHARISMA!!! MY charisma! The charisma that simply drips from my hot bod like maple syrup on a Belgian waffle! And babe, in the end, that's all I need. All I need is to be myself. So, I've taken out the 12 poles from my backyard, tossed away all the props for "GNA", and have released all of the "legends" I had planned to defeat in poker matches and video games. Because it's time... time that the Metal God began acting like the Only World Champion that Matters I am...
[Axl drops from the turnbuckle, still holding the title over his shoulder. He walks toward the middle of the ring, and turns an eye to the camera's lens.]
Axl: I am the BoB Only World Champion that Matters...
I Am the Metal God, and leader of Gunzzz and YoYozzz...
I AM...
[Suddenly, the camera goes black... with two words in the center of the screen, in blood red...]
yOuR sAvIoR...
~ rock on ~
\oo/_ OvO _\oo/
~ rock on