Post by MMR1 "Re-Generation-X" on Aug 12, 2007 18:16:10 GMT -5
(Livin’ Large at the ReGeneration-X apartment, we find both the massively massive Josh Massive Man Rendition First not to mention the totally packaged Big Daddy TP Jim. Together they are WILD STALLIONS…I begin playing monster air guitar while making wicked awesome electric guitar sound effects…)
Jim: Hey disembodied narrator, can we get on with this? I mean Josh and I have lives here.
MMR1: Yeah, Jim even has a date early tomorrow morning…with a girl.
Jim: Actually dude that was this morning.
MMR1: Are you sure dude? I could have sworn I wrote tomorrow down in my daily planner.
Jim: Nah, it was today.
MMR1: My bad, how was the date?
Jim: Strange that you should ask. She totally stood me up. It was completely messed up.
MMR1: Man, that sucks. Sorry to hear about that.
Jim: It’s alright. She was pretty fat anyways. And you know what we say about fat chicks.
(Josh and Jim speak at the same time, while I rip out an amazing air guitar solo.)
MMR1/Jim: Fat chicks aren’t real people because they don’t have souls.
Jim: Totally dude, so what have you been up to?
MMR1: Nothing much just waiting to see if we’re gonna get a match or two at the next BOB’s show.
Jim: So what’s the news?
MMR1: Well, no news on the match but I did come across a promo shot by SMP who said and I quote, “I was watching a recent episode of “The Bronx is Burning” on ESPN”.
Jim: Fascinating, a well-respected cosmetic surgeon like him wasting his time watching a miniseries produced by ESPN, this is truly shocking.
MMR1: I know, but SMP goes on to say, and I quote again, “I’d team with Massive Man and his gang, to get rid of you. Although I probably won’t hear from those guys again until another wrestler kills his family and himself to give them some promo material”.
Jim: Dude, that is outlandish. How dare he be such a jerk?
MMR1: Jim do you even know what you should be anger about?
Jim: Not really, but I figured you would fill everyone in with one of your long-winded rants.
MMR1: Good idea. Where does SMP get off saying we need other wrestlers to go nuts for us to have good promo material. I mean, sure, Jim had to die for a sweet promo. And JJ had to shave his head in order for us to get some sweet promo love. In fact, we have been cutting freakin' sweet promos since back in our Kent State Kr….
Jim: Don’t say it dude.
MMR1: Yah, sorry man I know it brings up bad memories for me too.
Jim: No. I meant don’t say it because we don’t have the rights to say it anymore.
MMR1: What do you mean? It’s freakin' America. I have the right to say whatever I want.
Jim: Not the right the RIGHTS!!! We lost the rights to use that name to Brandon in a game of poker.
MMR1: That’s right I totally forgot. But you can't blame me, I could’ve sworn Brandon was bluffing. I mean for the love of God, he bet Tigress. And you cant tell me that you wouldn’t go all in when playing with a hairless pussy.
Jim: Very true my friend.
MMR1: I know, hey what were we talking about?
Jim: I have no idea. Hey are you losing weight?
MMR1: No why?
Jim: Because those pants look really loose on you. Maybe you should look into getting a belt.
MMR1: I was actually thinking of doing that at the next show. And I was gonna suggest that you do the same.
Jim: Yeah, that might be a good idea. Hey, did you wanna come with me? I am heading over to the old Owen Hart house to see if there is any shit to steal?
MMR1: Nah, I am in a heated bidding war on ebay over a piece of Curt Hennings ABC gum. They say it is in PERFECT condition.
Jim: Alright, but we’re still on for tomorrow?
MMR1: You know it.
(MMR1 holds up an urn.)
Jim: Awesome, I can’t wait to snort Miss Elizabeth’s ashes. That chick was coked out of her mind. Alright man, I’m out.
MMR1: Hey dude just remember…
Jim: I know, I know “We’re back, and were still better than them y'all”
(Ladies and gentlemen WILD STALLIONS would like to play you out of this promo with one of our greatest and only hits….FADE…TO…BLACK…I begin playing air guitar as the screen goes dark.)
Jim: Hey disembodied narrator, can we get on with this? I mean Josh and I have lives here.
MMR1: Yeah, Jim even has a date early tomorrow morning…with a girl.
Jim: Actually dude that was this morning.
MMR1: Are you sure dude? I could have sworn I wrote tomorrow down in my daily planner.
Jim: Nah, it was today.
MMR1: My bad, how was the date?
Jim: Strange that you should ask. She totally stood me up. It was completely messed up.
MMR1: Man, that sucks. Sorry to hear about that.
Jim: It’s alright. She was pretty fat anyways. And you know what we say about fat chicks.
(Josh and Jim speak at the same time, while I rip out an amazing air guitar solo.)
MMR1/Jim: Fat chicks aren’t real people because they don’t have souls.
Jim: Totally dude, so what have you been up to?
MMR1: Nothing much just waiting to see if we’re gonna get a match or two at the next BOB’s show.
Jim: So what’s the news?
MMR1: Well, no news on the match but I did come across a promo shot by SMP who said and I quote, “I was watching a recent episode of “The Bronx is Burning” on ESPN”.
Jim: Fascinating, a well-respected cosmetic surgeon like him wasting his time watching a miniseries produced by ESPN, this is truly shocking.
MMR1: I know, but SMP goes on to say, and I quote again, “I’d team with Massive Man and his gang, to get rid of you. Although I probably won’t hear from those guys again until another wrestler kills his family and himself to give them some promo material”.
Jim: Dude, that is outlandish. How dare he be such a jerk?
MMR1: Jim do you even know what you should be anger about?
Jim: Not really, but I figured you would fill everyone in with one of your long-winded rants.
MMR1: Good idea. Where does SMP get off saying we need other wrestlers to go nuts for us to have good promo material. I mean, sure, Jim had to die for a sweet promo. And JJ had to shave his head in order for us to get some sweet promo love. In fact, we have been cutting freakin' sweet promos since back in our Kent State Kr….
Jim: Don’t say it dude.
MMR1: Yah, sorry man I know it brings up bad memories for me too.
Jim: No. I meant don’t say it because we don’t have the rights to say it anymore.
MMR1: What do you mean? It’s freakin' America. I have the right to say whatever I want.
Jim: Not the right the RIGHTS!!! We lost the rights to use that name to Brandon in a game of poker.
MMR1: That’s right I totally forgot. But you can't blame me, I could’ve sworn Brandon was bluffing. I mean for the love of God, he bet Tigress. And you cant tell me that you wouldn’t go all in when playing with a hairless pussy.
Jim: Very true my friend.
MMR1: I know, hey what were we talking about?
Jim: I have no idea. Hey are you losing weight?
MMR1: No why?
Jim: Because those pants look really loose on you. Maybe you should look into getting a belt.
MMR1: I was actually thinking of doing that at the next show. And I was gonna suggest that you do the same.
Jim: Yeah, that might be a good idea. Hey, did you wanna come with me? I am heading over to the old Owen Hart house to see if there is any shit to steal?
MMR1: Nah, I am in a heated bidding war on ebay over a piece of Curt Hennings ABC gum. They say it is in PERFECT condition.
Jim: Alright, but we’re still on for tomorrow?
MMR1: You know it.
(MMR1 holds up an urn.)
Jim: Awesome, I can’t wait to snort Miss Elizabeth’s ashes. That chick was coked out of her mind. Alright man, I’m out.
MMR1: Hey dude just remember…
Jim: I know, I know “We’re back, and were still better than them y'all”
(Ladies and gentlemen WILD STALLIONS would like to play you out of this promo with one of our greatest and only hits….FADE…TO…BLACK…I begin playing air guitar as the screen goes dark.)