Post by Time to take it home on Mar 16, 2007 14:58:11 GMT -5
(The camera fades in and douja, RVS, and Kurt Angel sitting in a circle.. Well, I guess it is more of a triangle, but we will save the geometry for another day. They are doing what they do best in the infamous "smokey room", douja's favorite location for promo's. The camera continues to fade in as the blunt makes it's way to douja's hands. The BOB Legend Championship is, of course, strapped tightly around his waist.)
douja: my homies, i appreciate you spending these last few hours wit' ya boy.. i always like to get my mind right before a big match wit' good friends, good pussy, and good chronic.. we got two out of three, and da biddy's are ours for the takin' here in sin city! wit' dis match bein' da most important in bob wrestlin' history, we gonna have to really do it up big tonight.. i mean, c'mon, dis my first time in vegas... it is only right, yo'..
RVS: I dunno, dude, I am so high.
douja: well, i ain't low, my dude.. i damn sure ain't low..
RVS: No doubt, I just don't know if i have the energy to go out tonight. We need another answer, dude.
douja: yo', you know your boy always got a backup.. we callin' up da whores, baby.. douja ain't ever been above payin' for pussy, yo'!!
RVS: ME NEITHER, DUDE!! WHOO!! Wait, I am a little short... You got me, bro?
douja: fo' sho'... only cause you my cracka, tho.. i got dat ispep money, so it is on me...
Kurt: Look, guys. It sounds like a blast, but I really can't be involved with this. I mean, I am blazed up, and this is the fire, but being involved in prostitution, even if it is legal prostitution, is just too much! I am a heavenly angel, for christ sake! Forgive, me J.C. I didn't mean to name drop you there.
Omnious Voice: It's cool, Kurt. Go ahead and take the free pussy! douja is paying!
douja: see, even da big man says it's cool... plus, we gettin' da high dolla' bitches, yo'! I am talkin' shaved pussy's and aids' tests, son..
Kurt: Well, as long as they bring proof of said tests, ORDER ME A BLOND, BABY!!
douja: dat's my, boy.. now, you two motha' fucka's go make da call while i rip smp a new asshole.. order me a china doll, yo..
RVS: Cool.. I found a card on the street that looked like they had some good deals, we will make it happen, dude.
(RVS and Kurt leave the room as the camera fades in on douja.)
douja: now, let me get down to motha' fuckin' bidness.. i have set here and watched as my legacy has been pissed on again and again.. it is like i am NOT da most decorated champion in da history of da STWF.. it is like i was NOT da only 3 time ichdhahhakfhtusdhsja champion in da history of da STWF.. it is like i am NOT da most decorated champion in da history of BOB... it is like i am NOT da first ever OWCTM.. it is like i DIDN'T promise to take a big shit inside of unit 5, then walk right down to da ring, kick da shit out of dat peice of junk metal, then drop da biggest damn deuce of da last 10 years of my life inside of dat motha' fucka'.. now, granted, dat last one wasn't dat great of an accomplishment, but i really enjoyed it, so fuck it.. so, to da punk motha' fucka's who have da never to call me a motha' fuckin' jobber, just know dat you can and will get yours...
smp, on da otha' hand... you have been around da block, and you have done your thang, i will give you that... but, one thing i will never understand is how you are able to sit with a straight face and claim to be more successful den' me.. you claim to be a bigger star den me, but da proof is in da puddin', bitch... like i said, DOUJA, not SMP, is da most decorated champion in da history of da STWF.. DOUJA, not SMP, is da most decorated champion in da history of BOB.. so, i might just be high as da sky, but i am failin' to see how you are da bigger star.. da only accomplishment you have on me is dat damn IG belt, and after Livin' In Sin, you won't even have dat.. so what are you gonna say den, smp? i love how you say my BOB championships don't mean shit... dat really makes me laugh.. see, it is easy to say dat since you have done, literally, jack and shit in your time in BOB.. da only belt you have EVER won in BOB i carried you to.. and it was you, not me, who showed up out of nowhere and called me out.. see, you need me a lot more den i need you.. i have been a star this whole time, but da only time anyone gives a fuck about yo' cracka' ass is when douja is goin' to be walkin' down da aisle after you.. i will not let my legacy be pissed on like i am some kind of ham and egger... i am da most successful wrestler in da history of da STWF, in da history of BOB, and more successful then you EVER could dream of bein'.. plus, i fucked nurse heidi then dropped a nice doo doo on her chest to keep da bitch warm.. so, how ya like me now, smp?
now, dis brings us to da most important match dis company has seen in a long time.. hell, lets call a spade a motha' fuckin' spade, da most important match dis company has ever seen.. in a moving bus match, a match I MADE FAMOUS, you have me.. douja, da biggest star this company has ever seen.. and you have smp.. now, i will be damned if i ever admit to him being on my level, but he is definately da second biggest star in BOB, and we are goin' to do it like only two legends can.. da first movin' bus match was da only ichfhshahfjcj championship match to main even a major STWF PPV.. it is prolly da greatest match in da history of da STWF... but, you motha fucka's aint seen nothin' yet!! da second movin' bus match, and dis i promise, will be one of da most brutal matches of all time.. i expect to get hurt, i expect to bleed, i expect to take a nipple cutter or two.. shit, with dat bald headed cracka' luke warm in da fold, i will prolly take a stonecutter or two on top of that.. but, it just won't be enough.. this match started as da first part of a three part series to finally determine who was da top dawg.. but, for me at least, it has turned into much more den dat.. dis match will determine how i am remembered, dis match will determine my legacy.. da haters who want to call douja a jobber, a never was, dey will never be able to say dat again after livin' in sin.. there is not a damn thing you can do to stop me smp.. you are in way over your head because you are facin' da bob legend champion in a frame of mind he has never been in before.. it has been a while since i said dis... IF YA SMELLLLLL!!!! WHAT DOUJA!!!!! (douja takes a huge hit of his blunt and slowly exhales the smoke.) is... smokin'... now, if you will excuse me, i have some high priced pussy waitin' on me dat is in dire need of a good teabaggin'...
(douja exits the "smokey room" and the camera fades out.)
douja: my homies, i appreciate you spending these last few hours wit' ya boy.. i always like to get my mind right before a big match wit' good friends, good pussy, and good chronic.. we got two out of three, and da biddy's are ours for the takin' here in sin city! wit' dis match bein' da most important in bob wrestlin' history, we gonna have to really do it up big tonight.. i mean, c'mon, dis my first time in vegas... it is only right, yo'..
RVS: I dunno, dude, I am so high.
douja: well, i ain't low, my dude.. i damn sure ain't low..
RVS: No doubt, I just don't know if i have the energy to go out tonight. We need another answer, dude.
douja: yo', you know your boy always got a backup.. we callin' up da whores, baby.. douja ain't ever been above payin' for pussy, yo'!!
RVS: ME NEITHER, DUDE!! WHOO!! Wait, I am a little short... You got me, bro?
douja: fo' sho'... only cause you my cracka, tho.. i got dat ispep money, so it is on me...
Kurt: Look, guys. It sounds like a blast, but I really can't be involved with this. I mean, I am blazed up, and this is the fire, but being involved in prostitution, even if it is legal prostitution, is just too much! I am a heavenly angel, for christ sake! Forgive, me J.C. I didn't mean to name drop you there.
Omnious Voice: It's cool, Kurt. Go ahead and take the free pussy! douja is paying!
douja: see, even da big man says it's cool... plus, we gettin' da high dolla' bitches, yo'! I am talkin' shaved pussy's and aids' tests, son..
Kurt: Well, as long as they bring proof of said tests, ORDER ME A BLOND, BABY!!
douja: dat's my, boy.. now, you two motha' fucka's go make da call while i rip smp a new asshole.. order me a china doll, yo..
RVS: Cool.. I found a card on the street that looked like they had some good deals, we will make it happen, dude.
(RVS and Kurt leave the room as the camera fades in on douja.)
douja: now, let me get down to motha' fuckin' bidness.. i have set here and watched as my legacy has been pissed on again and again.. it is like i am NOT da most decorated champion in da history of da STWF.. it is like i was NOT da only 3 time ichdhahhakfhtusdhsja champion in da history of da STWF.. it is like i am NOT da most decorated champion in da history of BOB... it is like i am NOT da first ever OWCTM.. it is like i DIDN'T promise to take a big shit inside of unit 5, then walk right down to da ring, kick da shit out of dat peice of junk metal, then drop da biggest damn deuce of da last 10 years of my life inside of dat motha' fucka'.. now, granted, dat last one wasn't dat great of an accomplishment, but i really enjoyed it, so fuck it.. so, to da punk motha' fucka's who have da never to call me a motha' fuckin' jobber, just know dat you can and will get yours...
smp, on da otha' hand... you have been around da block, and you have done your thang, i will give you that... but, one thing i will never understand is how you are able to sit with a straight face and claim to be more successful den' me.. you claim to be a bigger star den me, but da proof is in da puddin', bitch... like i said, DOUJA, not SMP, is da most decorated champion in da history of da STWF.. DOUJA, not SMP, is da most decorated champion in da history of BOB.. so, i might just be high as da sky, but i am failin' to see how you are da bigger star.. da only accomplishment you have on me is dat damn IG belt, and after Livin' In Sin, you won't even have dat.. so what are you gonna say den, smp? i love how you say my BOB championships don't mean shit... dat really makes me laugh.. see, it is easy to say dat since you have done, literally, jack and shit in your time in BOB.. da only belt you have EVER won in BOB i carried you to.. and it was you, not me, who showed up out of nowhere and called me out.. see, you need me a lot more den i need you.. i have been a star this whole time, but da only time anyone gives a fuck about yo' cracka' ass is when douja is goin' to be walkin' down da aisle after you.. i will not let my legacy be pissed on like i am some kind of ham and egger... i am da most successful wrestler in da history of da STWF, in da history of BOB, and more successful then you EVER could dream of bein'.. plus, i fucked nurse heidi then dropped a nice doo doo on her chest to keep da bitch warm.. so, how ya like me now, smp?
now, dis brings us to da most important match dis company has seen in a long time.. hell, lets call a spade a motha' fuckin' spade, da most important match dis company has ever seen.. in a moving bus match, a match I MADE FAMOUS, you have me.. douja, da biggest star this company has ever seen.. and you have smp.. now, i will be damned if i ever admit to him being on my level, but he is definately da second biggest star in BOB, and we are goin' to do it like only two legends can.. da first movin' bus match was da only ichfhshahfjcj championship match to main even a major STWF PPV.. it is prolly da greatest match in da history of da STWF... but, you motha fucka's aint seen nothin' yet!! da second movin' bus match, and dis i promise, will be one of da most brutal matches of all time.. i expect to get hurt, i expect to bleed, i expect to take a nipple cutter or two.. shit, with dat bald headed cracka' luke warm in da fold, i will prolly take a stonecutter or two on top of that.. but, it just won't be enough.. this match started as da first part of a three part series to finally determine who was da top dawg.. but, for me at least, it has turned into much more den dat.. dis match will determine how i am remembered, dis match will determine my legacy.. da haters who want to call douja a jobber, a never was, dey will never be able to say dat again after livin' in sin.. there is not a damn thing you can do to stop me smp.. you are in way over your head because you are facin' da bob legend champion in a frame of mind he has never been in before.. it has been a while since i said dis... IF YA SMELLLLLL!!!! WHAT DOUJA!!!!! (douja takes a huge hit of his blunt and slowly exhales the smoke.) is... smokin'... now, if you will excuse me, i have some high priced pussy waitin' on me dat is in dire need of a good teabaggin'...
(douja exits the "smokey room" and the camera fades out.)
