Post by @xL on Jan 23, 2007 8:32:45 GMT -5
:: Tuesday, January 23rd, 2007 - 7:20 a.m. ::
~ Location: Club Gay - San Francisco, CA ~
Axl: Are you guys ready to ROCK?! [cheers from the club-goers] Well then, San Francisco, let's... get... ready... to... ROCK! As always, the excellent Tifa Bon Jovi is on drums, and I, your most radical Metal God, and LEADER of the Rock-O-Lution, am on guitar, and together, we are - Gwar... TELLICAAA!!!
Club-goer A: We love you David Bowie!
Club-goer B: Marry me David!!!
Club-goer C: I wanna hold co-guardianship of an adopted child with you, David!!!
Axl: ... The song I'd like to play for you today, is something I wrote... well, thought up, in my head, while I was smashing Dusbuster Boy's dustbuster into a million pieces. It's called "Suckz 4 U", and it will be very appropriate for my match this Sunday. DB... this one's for you.
Axl: *launches into an extended opening guitar riff... before heading into his lyrics*
You can run, but you can't hide
You can run, but not for long
You can run, but that is all
You can run, I'll sing this song.
Just take the loss, and move along... there's nothing that you can do.
Just take the loss, and move along... SMC is the end for you.
Just take the loss, and move along... I'll pin you, then we'll be through.
Just take the loss, and move along... sorry babe, but it Suckz 4 U
You like to suck, that's what you do
You like to suck, well just as well
You like to suck, it's what your for
You like to suck, I'll be your hell.
You'll do your best, but you'll still fall... there's nothing that you can do.
You'll do your best, but you'll still fall... nobody Sucks more than you.
You'll do your best, but you'll still fall... it's the end of the road for you.
You'll do your best, but you'll still fall... sorry babe, but it Suckz... 4 U...
*Tifa then launches into a drum solo, without much of a rythm or pattern, ending with a few bangs at the cymbal, before Axl continues*
Axl: I walked to the edge... and then I stood and looked down. Ya see, I lost alot of friends there, baby. I ain't got no time to mess around... Whoops, wrong song. Uhm... oh yeah.
Axl: Uhm... THANK YOU NEW YORK!!!
Club-goer D: This is California, dummy! And HEY, you're not David Bowie! David wouldn't be caught DEAD in such a passe' outfit! You POSER!!!
Everyone in the club: PO-SER! PO-SER!! PO-SER!!!
Axl: Aw crap, not this again... Alright Tifa, time to evacuate. You guys are GAY anyway! Yeah, that's right, I said it. GAY!!!
Club-goer E: Uh... yeah? Duh? Maybe THAT'S why the Club is CALLED Club Gay?
Axl: Oh... well... you have a redundant sounding club name!!! That's right, I said it. REDUNDANT!!! ... Doesn't seem to have the same ring to it. Tifa, go out and start the limo. Let's split this chicken joint.
[Tifa heads out, and after he makes it through the scowling club-goers, Axl makes it out as well. But when the two arrive at their limousine, their met with a surprise. The image of the new logo of the sWo X, spray-painted across their vehicle...]
[Suddenly, the sound of an engine can be heard from off camera... before a huuuge Monster Truck, with the sWo X logo over the hood, rams into the side of the limo. Axl and Tifa bound out of the way. The truck door swings open... and out step The Fat Guy, Big Daddy Drool, Reeve Gordon, and his girlfriend, Krystal Dawn. Reeve stares across the heap of metal, over at his former friend, Axl VanHalen.]
Reeve: And so... we meet again. How long has it been?
Axl: Not long enough, apparantly. Reeve, what is WITH you? Last time we met, we were both a part of XCW. We were tag team partners for crying out loud, and tag team CHAMPS to boot. Next thing I know, the fed's shut down, you're gone without a trace, and I'm left looking for a job. Reeve... what's happened with you?
Reeve: Well, dude, I've had a revelation, THAT's what's happened to me. I looked into the mirror, saw that I didn't like what I saw... so I changed it. You see, ever since my run with BoB, everything's been downhill. I came into BoB with Vince Russo. Vince RUSSO... along with 5 other guys, and the greatest "flaming homosexual" gimmick EVER. But what happens? I get sent packing. And then, when I end up in XCW, all they have for me is a tag-team with your jack @ss. Yeah, sure, we won the tag titles. But seriously, what the fvck do tag titles mean in this business anymore? Jack squat, that's what. So, the fed closes shop, you want to know where I went? I went back to my hometown, Tulsa, Oklahoma, and I find a girl. This girl over here, Krystal Dawn. We decide that it's time people FINALLY recognize us as superiority. We're superior to everyone else at absolutely EVERYTHING we do, and the ONLY reason Big Boss never realized that is because I was gay, I was better than every last guy on the roster and thus unbeatable, and he hates Russo for being the man that came up with every idea Big Boss STOLE, and hated ME for bringing him into BoB.
Axl: Oh come on Reeve-
Reeve: And Axl... Axl, the reason Big B is giving you this chance at the Swiss Army Belt? It's obvious. He wants a champion he can bend to his will. A mindless DRONE that will do whatever he's TOLD to do. Just like you. Hell, maybe if you suck his d!ck a few times he'll give you a shot at the OWTTM!!!
Axl: Oh you stop it right there! Reeve, you KNOW we've always been friends. If you were upset about me "stealing your thunder" as it were, you could have just come to me, stood toe to toe to me like a man, and told me face to face. But no, you have to wreck my ride, and now you're threatening me. And dude... your face paint. Why are you trying to rip off Sting?
Reeve: I'M NOT RIPPING OFF STING! This paint is to show the inner darkness of my heart!
Axl: Hm. Looks alot like Sting paint to me.
Reeve: THAT'S IT!!! Axl, from this moment on, I will not rest until I've brought you down. Down to your KNEES!!!
Axl: You want me on my knees? What? So I can su-
Reeve: Don't EVEN go there! Axl... every SMC... I'll be there. Me... and the s... W... o... X. We'll make d@mn sure you don't walk out of this tournament as the number one contender. You don't deserve to be a champion, and if I can't have it, neither shall you. Axl... your nightmare has only just begun. Welcome to a new era... of the sWo.
[Reeve, Krys, TFG and BDD all head back into the monster truck, before speeding off in a cloud of dust.]
Axl: Well. That settles it. Tifa... you're paying for this limo.
Tifa: WHAT?!
- rock on -
