Post by Joe Bananas on Oct 17, 2009 15:59:32 GMT -5
[Joe Bananas is sat in a mid-level pistachio wallpapered hotel room. His girlfriend Arlene is spraying air freshener around like a woman possessed as Joe puts out his joint.]
Arlene: You’ve got no money, the company you ‘work’ for has almost gone completely under, you just lay around getting high all day watching Mystery Science Theatre… is there nothing I can do to give you a swift kick up the ass?
Joe: You can turn that light off and pop me a Godzilla tape in that VCR there.
Arlene: No more Godzilla! I’ve had it with your stoner antics! Why don’t you pay attention to me? ME for Christ’s sake?!
Joe: Honey, why don’t you go piss on a fire hydrant?
Arlene: Ugh, I’ve had it with you! My hair is falling out over you…
[She plucks two strands of hair from her scalp.]
Arlene: And all you can do is eating Cheerios out of the box and watch Becker re-runs all day. You need to fine a company to employ you, at least until BOB can find the money to get back on it’s feet.
Joe: What should I do? Go to Mexico? I’m 35; the only guys down there my age are veterans with reserved spots. I’ve always set out to be a Tiger Mask, not a Perro Aguayo.
Arlene: I don’t have a clue who they are, but YOU need to get job!
[Joe takes the last sip on a can of Red Stripe and sparks another joint, blowing the smoke in Arlene’s face.]
Joe: You’re blowing my mind… you’re actually telling me I have to get a job?
Arlene: Yes!
Joe: Holy shit.
[He flicks channels until he finds a Guns & Roses concert playing. Joe unscrews the lid off a bottle of whiskey and continues to toke on the spliff.]
Arlene: I’d have had more financial security if I had gone out with Scatman.
Arlene: You’ve got no money, the company you ‘work’ for has almost gone completely under, you just lay around getting high all day watching Mystery Science Theatre… is there nothing I can do to give you a swift kick up the ass?
Joe: You can turn that light off and pop me a Godzilla tape in that VCR there.
Arlene: No more Godzilla! I’ve had it with your stoner antics! Why don’t you pay attention to me? ME for Christ’s sake?!
Joe: Honey, why don’t you go piss on a fire hydrant?
Arlene: Ugh, I’ve had it with you! My hair is falling out over you…
[She plucks two strands of hair from her scalp.]
Arlene: And all you can do is eating Cheerios out of the box and watch Becker re-runs all day. You need to fine a company to employ you, at least until BOB can find the money to get back on it’s feet.
Joe: What should I do? Go to Mexico? I’m 35; the only guys down there my age are veterans with reserved spots. I’ve always set out to be a Tiger Mask, not a Perro Aguayo.
Arlene: I don’t have a clue who they are, but YOU need to get job!
[Joe takes the last sip on a can of Red Stripe and sparks another joint, blowing the smoke in Arlene’s face.]
Joe: You’re blowing my mind… you’re actually telling me I have to get a job?
Arlene: Yes!
Joe: Holy shit.
[He flicks channels until he finds a Guns & Roses concert playing. Joe unscrews the lid off a bottle of whiskey and continues to toke on the spliff.]
Arlene: I’d have had more financial security if I had gone out with Scatman.