Post by @xL on Jun 15, 2009 0:42:27 GMT -5
[The sun is setting upon the city of Sinister... City. The rays of the falling sphere of fire bathe the buildings, streets, and parked cars in a warm glow. The scene is beautiful... but not too far away is a scene of violence... one of chaos and uncontrolled mayhem. The camera switches from the evening horizon... to the inside of the Hell Hole Arena, where Pigeon and Axl are chatting amongst eachother...]
Pigeon: Alright Axe, after catching Jerri Li and Ching Chang Chong preparing for our tag match at the next 'In Your Gym', I got a great idea.
Axl: DON'T SAY THAT WORD!
Pigeon: Which one?
Axl: GREAT! It gives me flashbacks...
Pigeon: But you defeated Great, Axl! You came away with the victory! So what's the big deal?
Axl: Trust me. I may have won, but I have my share of scars from that battle. I don't need any further reminding...
Pigeon: Fine, how about this ; I had a GROOVY idea.
Axl: Oh come on, what kind of spaz still uses the word "groovy"?
Pigeon: The kind that writes your rants...
Axl: ... Point taken.
Pigeon: Anyhell, after seeing Jerri blast through those wooden men, I knew I had to prepare something far more daunting to challenge you.
Axl: How about you force me to watch a marathon of Sam, Sam the Random Yam promos? Seriously, that guy seems to just gather up a bunch of phrases, toss them into a blender, and then pour whatever comes out into what he considers a "rant".
Pigeon: Atleast his don't make War and Peace seem like Green Eggs and Ham...
Axl:
Pigeon: Kidding, of course.
But here's my plan ; To prepare you for our war against the Gooks, I knew I had to get something better than a bunch of wooden dummies. I had to get THE wooden dummy - Al Gore!
["Lord of the LockBox" by Flash in the Pan Rock Band hits. 'Al Gore', who is obviously Scotty Whatbody in a cheap get-up, walks down to the ring, and enters through the ropes... He carries a lock box in one hand, a microphone in the other... 'Al' lifts the microphone to his mouth, carrying the box under his arm.]
'Al Gore' : ... Line?
[Pigeon walks over to Scotty... Al... whatever, and whispers something into his ear. Pigeon returns to a corner... and Scotty Gore returns to the microphone.]
'Al Gore' : ... Lockbox. ... That's it?
Pigeon: Perfect, Scotty. Ok, Axl, imagine the bell just sounded... and Al Whatbody over here is Jerri Li, coming after you with a steel chair. You're not going to let her get that eleventh shot in are ya?!
Axl: Hell no!
'Al Gore' : What?! Hey, you didn't mention this part! Come on Axl, I'm your agent!
Axl: You're Jerri Li!
'Al Gore' : No... ok, I'm "Al Gore", alright? You wouldn't hurt the most respectable ex-vice president of our time would you? Think of the trees, Axl! THINK OF THE TREES!!!
Axl: YOU'RE JERRI LI!!! And your ass is NEXT!
'Al Gore' : ... Looks like somebody's been watching too many old Goldberg promos...
Axl: RARRR!!!
[As Axl rushes forward, Scotty screams into the microphone.]
Scotty: Dammit Axl! Think man, THINK! I'm fragile! I have a weak bladder! And if you hit me too hard I think I might have an accident! You don't want to get Urine all over you do you?!
[Axl spears Scotty, sending him rolling to the outside under the bottom rope.]
Urine: Somebody call for me, sister?
Pigeon: Quoth the Pigeon... Axl just GORE, GORE, GORE'd Gore.
Urine: Drink your piss, little dudes!
[Axl stands up, turns to the camera with a fierce growl, and speaks in a hushed tone... gripping the top rope.]
Axl: Jerri Li... Ding Dong? The Eve of Revolution is upon us... and soon? Evil-Lution is going to pass you by. Prepare for the worst... for even that... will not prepare you...
... for US.
[Pigeon is seen flapping his arms wildly in the background, like a chicken with his head chopped off. On the outside, Scotty finally, slowly, makes it to his feet, grabbing onto the apron... He looks up at Axl.]
Axl: You ok, Scott?
[Scotty gives the thumbs up... before instantly dropping back to the floor in a heap. Axl smiles... as the camera fades to a black screen, with a few blood red words.]
|The Axe Falls Down Upon Thee... HARD|
Pigeon: Alright Axe, after catching Jerri Li and Ching Chang Chong preparing for our tag match at the next 'In Your Gym', I got a great idea.
Axl: DON'T SAY THAT WORD!
Pigeon: Which one?
Axl: GREAT! It gives me flashbacks...
Pigeon: But you defeated Great, Axl! You came away with the victory! So what's the big deal?
Axl: Trust me. I may have won, but I have my share of scars from that battle. I don't need any further reminding...
Pigeon: Fine, how about this ; I had a GROOVY idea.
Axl: Oh come on, what kind of spaz still uses the word "groovy"?
Pigeon: The kind that writes your rants...
Axl: ... Point taken.
Pigeon: Anyhell, after seeing Jerri blast through those wooden men, I knew I had to prepare something far more daunting to challenge you.
Axl: How about you force me to watch a marathon of Sam, Sam the Random Yam promos? Seriously, that guy seems to just gather up a bunch of phrases, toss them into a blender, and then pour whatever comes out into what he considers a "rant".
Pigeon: Atleast his don't make War and Peace seem like Green Eggs and Ham...
Axl:
Pigeon: Kidding, of course.
But here's my plan ; To prepare you for our war against the Gooks, I knew I had to get something better than a bunch of wooden dummies. I had to get THE wooden dummy - Al Gore!["Lord of the LockBox" by Flash in the Pan Rock Band hits. 'Al Gore', who is obviously Scotty Whatbody in a cheap get-up, walks down to the ring, and enters through the ropes... He carries a lock box in one hand, a microphone in the other... 'Al' lifts the microphone to his mouth, carrying the box under his arm.]
'Al Gore' : ... Line?
[Pigeon walks over to Scotty... Al... whatever, and whispers something into his ear. Pigeon returns to a corner... and Scotty Gore returns to the microphone.]
'Al Gore' : ... Lockbox. ... That's it?
Pigeon: Perfect, Scotty. Ok, Axl, imagine the bell just sounded... and Al Whatbody over here is Jerri Li, coming after you with a steel chair. You're not going to let her get that eleventh shot in are ya?!
Axl: Hell no!
'Al Gore' : What?! Hey, you didn't mention this part! Come on Axl, I'm your agent!
Axl: You're Jerri Li!
'Al Gore' : No... ok, I'm "Al Gore", alright? You wouldn't hurt the most respectable ex-vice president of our time would you? Think of the trees, Axl! THINK OF THE TREES!!!
Axl: YOU'RE JERRI LI!!! And your ass is NEXT!
'Al Gore' : ... Looks like somebody's been watching too many old Goldberg promos...
Axl: RARRR!!!
[As Axl rushes forward, Scotty screams into the microphone.]
Scotty: Dammit Axl! Think man, THINK! I'm fragile! I have a weak bladder! And if you hit me too hard I think I might have an accident! You don't want to get Urine all over you do you?!
[Axl spears Scotty, sending him rolling to the outside under the bottom rope.]
Urine: Somebody call for me, sister?
Pigeon: Quoth the Pigeon... Axl just GORE, GORE, GORE'd Gore.
Urine: Drink your piss, little dudes!
[Axl stands up, turns to the camera with a fierce growl, and speaks in a hushed tone... gripping the top rope.]
Axl: Jerri Li... Ding Dong? The Eve of Revolution is upon us... and soon? Evil-Lution is going to pass you by. Prepare for the worst... for even that... will not prepare you...
... for US.
[Pigeon is seen flapping his arms wildly in the background, like a chicken with his head chopped off. On the outside, Scotty finally, slowly, makes it to his feet, grabbing onto the apron... He looks up at Axl.]
Axl: You ok, Scott?
[Scotty gives the thumbs up... before instantly dropping back to the floor in a heap. Axl smiles... as the camera fades to a black screen, with a few blood red words.]
|The Axe Falls Down Upon Thee... HARD|