Post by Pigeon on May 18, 2009 19:39:19 GMT -5
[The camera opens to a bar in Sinister City... where Axl is seated, drinking a glass of grape juice (on the rocks). Pigeon is next to him, eating a bowl of bird seed (on the rocks).]
Axl: Hey... what does (on the rocks) mean?
Pigeon: Hell if I know.
Axl: Anyway, thanks for doing that rant against Sam for me. You know, ever since you hooked me up with Scotty as my agent, not only has Scot done a STELLAR job as a manager, but you and I... we've been able to patch things up and start talking. And when it comes right down to it, you're not a bad guy.
Pigeon: I'm not? ... Since when did I turn face?
Axl: I dunno... I never really could tell if you were a face, a heel, neutral -
Pigeon: Hey man, I have BOTH of my balls!
Axl: Not "neutered", neutral.
Pigeon: What the heck does THAT mean?
Axl: Well, to put it simply, someone who's neutral isn't hated enough to be a heel... but isn't liked enough to be a face.
Pigeon: So... a jobber?
Axl: Pretty much, yeah.
Pigeon: I guess that's what I've been for a while... [looks down at his bowl of seed] I'm starting to hate my life.
Axl: I thought you ALWAYS hated your life?
Pigeon: No, I just loathed it.
Axl: And the difference is... ?
Pigeon: Michelle.
Axl: Oh... huh?
Pigeon: I always had Michelle to look forward to. The beatings. The constant beatings. They're what drove me. They're what inspired me to continue breathing...
Axl: You're sick, man. And that's why I like ya.
Pigeon: Well, I'm serious... I need someone to inspire me again.
...
Pigeon: Jerri.
Axl: Lawler or Springer?
Pigeon: Neither... [looks at Axl] Can you do something for me?
Axl: Anything dude, just ask.
Pigeon: ... [turns his head back to the seed] Can you ask someone a question?
Axl: Certainly... unless it's asking Sam the Yam to face me for the Swiss Army title. Because dude... that guy's a NUT with a capital N-U-T. Because I capitalized all three letters. ... Uhm, so what's the 'q' you want me to 'a'?
Pigeon: [still looking at the seed] Last year, I shed blood... I wept blood... I even PISSED blood... all in the name of aquiring the most beautiful, gorgeous, drop dead sexy vixxen on BOB's green earth.
Axl: Daffney Unger?
Pigeon: No... who?
Axl: This AWESOME chick from TNA, who I used to have a crush on when she was in WCW. I was SOOO jealous of David Flair. I think her real name is "Eliza", but I'm kinda hazy on that one...
Pigeon: ... No. Jerri Li.
Axl: You mean pierce faced, freak befriending Jerri Li?
Pigeon: Is there any other?
Axl: Jerry Lee Lewis?
Pigeon: ... I want you to ask her something very important. I can't, because currently I'm no longer a BOBster. Axl... I want to be her partner.
Axl: [turns to Pigeon, shocked expression on his face] Are you SERIOUS?! Pigeon... you want to marry that psycho bitch?!
Pigeon: No, no, not marry... I don't mean THAT sort of "partner". I mean I want to be her TAG partner, as one half of the tag champions!
Axl: Oh...
Pigeon: Marriage... that's a different story. It's something one doesn't just walk into... something sacred. Like bird seed.
[Pigeon begins smashing his face into the bird seed... with Axl staring at him like he's crazy.]
Axl: Uhm... are you crazy?
Pigeon: No! I'm eating! Birds peck at bird seed. I'm a pigeon, so that's what I'm doing!
Axl: You're not A pigeon... you ARE Pigeon. That's your NAME, not your species!
Pigeon: [stops "pecking" for a second, his face near the seed] But I...
[Pigeon lifts his head up, and looks at Axl... a seed falls from Pigeon's lip.]
Pigeon: You're kidding... right?
Axl: Well...
Pigeon: My whole LIFE... it's all been a sham! This... this can't be true! You mean I'm not really a pigeon?!
Axl: ... Uh... no, of COURSE you're a pigeon... I was just fooling with ya, man! Heheh... You must be a bird! You've got a bird brain, atleast...
Pigeon: I'll peck to that!
[Pigeon returns to smashing his face into the bird seed... Axl stares on with a smile.]
Axl: Pigeon and Jerri Li... tag team champions. I'll drink to that.
[Axl tilts his head back and gulps downs the glass of grape juice... as "Come Out and Play" blares on the jukebox...]
|axl, axl the dancing queen|
Axl: [spits out some grape juice] HEY!!!
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Axl: Hey... what does (on the rocks) mean?
Pigeon: Hell if I know.
Axl: Anyway, thanks for doing that rant against Sam for me. You know, ever since you hooked me up with Scotty as my agent, not only has Scot done a STELLAR job as a manager, but you and I... we've been able to patch things up and start talking. And when it comes right down to it, you're not a bad guy.
Pigeon: I'm not? ... Since when did I turn face?
Axl: I dunno... I never really could tell if you were a face, a heel, neutral -
Pigeon: Hey man, I have BOTH of my balls!
Axl: Not "neutered", neutral.
Pigeon: What the heck does THAT mean?
Axl: Well, to put it simply, someone who's neutral isn't hated enough to be a heel... but isn't liked enough to be a face.
Pigeon: So... a jobber?
Axl: Pretty much, yeah.
Pigeon: I guess that's what I've been for a while... [looks down at his bowl of seed] I'm starting to hate my life.
Axl: I thought you ALWAYS hated your life?
Pigeon: No, I just loathed it.
Axl: And the difference is... ?
Pigeon: Michelle.
Axl: Oh... huh?
Pigeon: I always had Michelle to look forward to. The beatings. The constant beatings. They're what drove me. They're what inspired me to continue breathing...
Axl: You're sick, man. And that's why I like ya.
Pigeon: Well, I'm serious... I need someone to inspire me again.
...
Pigeon: Jerri.
Axl: Lawler or Springer?
Pigeon: Neither... [looks at Axl] Can you do something for me?
Axl: Anything dude, just ask.
Pigeon: ... [turns his head back to the seed] Can you ask someone a question?
Axl: Certainly... unless it's asking Sam the Yam to face me for the Swiss Army title. Because dude... that guy's a NUT with a capital N-U-T. Because I capitalized all three letters. ... Uhm, so what's the 'q' you want me to 'a'?
Pigeon: [still looking at the seed] Last year, I shed blood... I wept blood... I even PISSED blood... all in the name of aquiring the most beautiful, gorgeous, drop dead sexy vixxen on BOB's green earth.
Axl: Daffney Unger?
Pigeon: No... who?
Axl: This AWESOME chick from TNA, who I used to have a crush on when she was in WCW. I was SOOO jealous of David Flair. I think her real name is "Eliza", but I'm kinda hazy on that one...
Pigeon: ... No. Jerri Li.
Axl: You mean pierce faced, freak befriending Jerri Li?
Pigeon: Is there any other?
Axl: Jerry Lee Lewis?
Pigeon: ... I want you to ask her something very important. I can't, because currently I'm no longer a BOBster. Axl... I want to be her partner.
Axl: [turns to Pigeon, shocked expression on his face] Are you SERIOUS?! Pigeon... you want to marry that psycho bitch?!
Pigeon: No, no, not marry... I don't mean THAT sort of "partner". I mean I want to be her TAG partner, as one half of the tag champions!
Axl: Oh...
Pigeon: Marriage... that's a different story. It's something one doesn't just walk into... something sacred. Like bird seed.
[Pigeon begins smashing his face into the bird seed... with Axl staring at him like he's crazy.]
Axl: Uhm... are you crazy?
Pigeon: No! I'm eating! Birds peck at bird seed. I'm a pigeon, so that's what I'm doing!
Axl: You're not A pigeon... you ARE Pigeon. That's your NAME, not your species!
Pigeon: [stops "pecking" for a second, his face near the seed] But I...
[Pigeon lifts his head up, and looks at Axl... a seed falls from Pigeon's lip.]
Pigeon: You're kidding... right?
Axl: Well...
Pigeon: My whole LIFE... it's all been a sham! This... this can't be true! You mean I'm not really a pigeon?!
Axl: ... Uh... no, of COURSE you're a pigeon... I was just fooling with ya, man! Heheh... You must be a bird! You've got a bird brain, atleast...
Pigeon: I'll peck to that!
[Pigeon returns to smashing his face into the bird seed... Axl stares on with a smile.]
Axl: Pigeon and Jerri Li... tag team champions. I'll drink to that.
[Axl tilts his head back and gulps downs the glass of grape juice... as "Come Out and Play" blares on the jukebox...]
|axl, axl the dancing queen|
Axl: [spits out some grape juice] HEY!!!
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