This... is Xtrmkor.

[@xL]

[The camera opens... to the Hell Hole. Sinister City's very own crappy, run-down, poorly lit, small fit arena. Almost like the original ECW's Hammerstein Ballroom... only far, FAR trashier.]

[Two men stand in the center of the ring, set up in the center of the arena. Two men... one, Wes Rivers, the other, Rex Winters. Both with microphones.]

Wes: Hello sports fans! Welcome to World Sports Entertainment's brand NEW home arena, the one and only "Hell Hole" in wonderful, beautiful, Sinister City, Utah!

Rex: Are you BLIND man?! This place is a DUMP! The only thing wonderful and beautiful around here is my gorgeous face... and ass!

Wes: I do NOT need to hear about your posterior, Rex...

Rex: I know, but all the lovely ladies around the world can't get enough of it! ... Too bad none of them are watching. ... Of course, none of the dudes are watching either. Friggin' Weather Channel cancelling Nitro, and forcing us to do all of our material via GeoCities. ... Wes, you do know about Yahoo closing GeoCities, right?

Wes: ... What? What do you mean? Of course they're not! GeoCities has been around for TEN YEARS! There's no chance in HELL they'd do something that foolish! Nothing that lasts for ten years could possibly...

Rex: Well, just because BOB's still around...

Wes: Who's Bob?

Rex: Not "Bob", BOB!

Wes: ... Huh?

Rex: Brawler's on a Budget! WSE's only competition! Wes, five of our own roster members competed on one of their OnDemand events only a few days ago, I'm sure you've heard of them?

Wes: Well... to tell the truth, I don't exist outside of "WSE 24/7" and our PaperViews. So, you know, the whole "Outside World" is kinda foreign to me.

Rex: Is your name Wes or Shane?

Wes: Who the hell's Shane?

Rex: Oh, nevermind...

Wes: And nevermind I will sports fans, because tonight, in THIS very ring -

Rex: Which looks about as pretty as dog vomit and smells just as good...

Wes: - our two champions will go head to head, title for title! Xtrmkor Champion, Drunk Ass Austin Stevens, will take on WSE Heavyweight Champion, HollyRock, in a no dq, no count-outs, extreme, hardcore, falls-cout-anywhere, anything goes Sinister City STREETFIGHT!

Rex: So, basically... a hardcore match.

Wes: Well, if you wanna dumb it down, I suppose.

Rex: Yeah, I know, right? Logic in the new millenium is SOOO boring...

Wes: BUT ANYWAY, this match will also be contested in an empty arena, to add to the hardcore element.

Rex: Which is kayfabe for "Chairman Jack Hoff didn't feel like paying a bunch of people to pack the seats like he usually does".

Wes: AHEM... Anyway, the Xtrmkor Champ, Drunk Ass, is standing outside the ring, at the bottom of the ramp, awaiting the arrival of the WSE Champion, HollyRock...

[The Not-The-Titan-Tron comes to life, showing the image of a helicopter flying over Hollywood... the 'copters searchlight targets in on the Hollywood sign... When suddenly, the "Wood" part of the sign is set ablaze! The fire rages, until all that's left is the word "Holly". Someone in a black tanktop and track pants uses his strength to shove up off the ground another sign... this sign is pushed into place, right next to "Holly"... and the entire sign now reads ; "HOLLYROCK". The figure in the track pants walks over to the side of the sign, pulls out a championship belt, and slings it over his shoulder. The chopper's searchlight steadies over the figure... and our camera zooms in... revealing it to be the WSE Champion, none other than HollyRock! HollyRocky arches his eyebrow, and a voiceover whispers over the speaker system in an ominous tone... ]

Speakers: ... just pooted.

[HollyRock bends over in front of the camera in the middle of the helicopter's light, and rips a juicy fart!]

Rex: ... BWAHAHAHA! I LOVE Rock's new video! It even shows the gas emitting from the back of those 50,000 dollar trackpants! HollyRock is SO much better now than when he went under "Rocky Joe-Kishi-Maga"!

Wes: Yeah, well, all I know is he stabbed each and every one of the fans in the back when he turned on "Those Guys" and became the new co-leader of The Glass Ceiling Gang. He should be ASHAMED!

Rex: You should be ashamed off that cheesy suit...

Wes: Hey! My mom always tells me I'm a sharp dresser!

Rex: Phff, heheh! Your MOM?! What, do you still live in your mom's house or something?!

Wes: No... just her basement...

Rex: HA! You are SUCH a loser, Wes! Seriously, lemme tell ya, I just moved into an apartment here in Sinister City, and while it's pretty much a fire hazard, a rat trap, and a roach motel all balled up into one nasty mess, atleast I can say I live on my own! Why, if I had to tell one of my buds I lived with my MOM... Honestly, I'm sorry Wes, but that's just...

[BAMMO!]

[Wes falls to the canvas, a victim of a shot from a black baseball bat... Rex looks at the assailant, who is dressed in black track pants, and a black t-shirt with "HollyRock" printed across the front... but the man wears a wide-brimmed, black cowboy hat, black, dark sunglasses, and a black bandanna around his mouth... so it's hard to tell if this is really Rocky...]

Rex: ... HollyRock?

[Drunk Ass rolls into the ring, and crouches into position, ready to hit the Drunk Ass Drop as soon as "Rocky" turns around... but is suddenly spun around himself.]

Rex: BLOCKBUSTER!!! And THAT'S HollyRocky! So, who in the heck is...

[The man in the hat, bandanna, and glasses rips these off and tosses them aside...]

Rex: Holy CRAP! It's BOB's Swiss Army champion, AXL!!! Brawlers on a Budget... have they just invaded WSE?!

[Axl smiles at Rex, before looking at HollyRocky. Axl and Rock bump knuckles, before Axl... Axl's going for the pin on Stevens! AND HE GETS IT! Axl has just won the Xtrmkor Title!]

Rex: Oh, dude! Axl, can I be the first member of the WSE staff to officially welcome you to the company! And may I congratulate you on your victory over Drunk Ass, and becoming the Xtrmkor champion! You're now the holder of TWO titles! Do you have any words for those at home? ... Well, whoever's bored enough to log onto GeoCities and check this garbage out?

[Axl stands up from pinning Drunk Ass, grabs the Xtrmkor title from the ref, and slings the Xtrmkor title over one shoulder, the Swiss Army over the other. Wes Rivers is STILL ko'ed, and Drunk Ass Austin Stevens has vanished because this was his last match and I decided to delete him from the roster page. Hey, like Scotty Whatbody said at Gluttons for Punishment, the world's already had enough Stone Cold parodies. It's time for the John Cena and Edge and Y2J parodies to have their time in the sun! ... Oh, and parodies of the Rock. Cuz we all know there haven't been much of THOSE!]

Rex: Uh... "The Crock" ring any bells?

[You mean the XAW version?]

Rex: No, the WWE one.

[Oh... you're sure it's not the GNA one?]

Rex: No, you know, the one that Triple H did when Rock was in the Nation of Domination?

[Hm... what about the WWECWCWWF parody?]

Rex: No, no... well, actually, come to think of it, alot of e-feds did that EXACT same gimmick...

[Yeah, you're right... well, Stone Cold is old. The Rock's STILL relevant!]

Rex: You call Return to Witch Mountain "relevant"?

[... YOU HAVE AN INTERVIEW TO DO! So DO it! Raza frackin'...]

Rex: Ahem... Axl -

[Axl grabs the microphone away from Rex, and HollyRock grins. He places a palm on the head of the mic, and whispers something to Axl. Axl grins...]

Axl: [tilts his head back] FINALLY...

[Axl lowers his head, looking into the camera]

Axl: ... The Axe Man... has COME... to World Sports Entertainment. [looks over to HollyRock] Did I nail it, or did I NAIL it?

HollyRock: Nailed it.

Axl: Awesome. [looks back at camera] Fans... if there ARE any fans, that is... I just want to let all of you ugly, disgusting, pig feet gobbling REDNECKS out there, that the champ... [lifts both belts into the air] ... IS HERE!

HollyRock: Whoa, whoa, whoa, WHOA... Ixnay on the ripping off Cena. That's John Semen's schtick.

Axl: Oh... whoopsie. Anyway, I just want to set the record straight. I'm not joining WSE. And BOB isn't invading WSE. I don't know WHAT gave you that idea, Rex.

Rex: Oh... I just thought -

Axl: IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOU THOUGHT!!!

[Axl smiles over at HollyRock, who gives the thumbs up. Axl then returns his glare to the camera.]

Axl: You see, the fact of the matter is this... I came here to WSE, not simply to take this belt from Drunk Ass, but to do something revolutionary... something ground shaking... something foundation ALTERING...

Rex: No! You don't mean -

Axl: Yes, indeed I do!

Rex: You're getting Pat Benatar to sing "Love is a Battlefield" at our next Paper View, The Great American BackLash at the Beach?! YOU SOOO ROCK!!!

Axl: ... No.

Rex:

Axl: I'm merging the Xtrmkor title... with the Swiss Army title... to create the very FIRST cross-promotional title between Brawlers on a Budget and World Sports Entertainment : The Swiss Army 24/7 Title!!!

Rex: ... I'd still prefer Benatar.

[Axl hands the Xtrmkor title over to HollyRock, who folds it up and places it inside a suitcase... before pulling out a large, face-plate sized sticker from the case. HollyRock gives Axl the sticker, and Axl peels the sticker from its paper... Axl then slaps the sticker over the face-plate of the Swiss Army strap. He holds the belt HIGH into the air... The title now reads, across the sticker, "24/7", with the word "Swiss" above, and "Army" below, both in smaller lettering.]

Axl: BEHOLD... the Swiss Army 24/7 CHAMPIONSHIP!!!

[HollyRock gives a small round of applause, while Rex returns the microphone to his own mouth.]

Rex: Well, there you have it folks! Tonight, on this night, at night, under a night sky, not tomorrow night, not last night, but TOnight... Axl has become the very first EVER... BOB/WSE Swiss Army 24/7 Champion!!!

[Suddenly, Axl is creamed from behind -

Rex: HAHAHA *snort* Sorry... HA! Creamed from behind, whoo boy!

[... Axl is attacked from the back -

Rex: For Axl, that's the ONLY way to be attacked!!! HAHA, I'll be here all night folks!

[Oh brother... Someone strikes Axl... and it's WES! Wes drops Axl with the black bat Axl brought in when he was disguised under the cowboy hat and shades... Wes goes for the cover!!! He gets a two count, but HollyRock pulls Wes off Axl, and Axl rolls to the outside, clutching the 24/7 title to his chest. HollyRock sends fist after fist toward Wes' face, backing him up to the ropes... When Wes is cornered against the ropes, Rock pulls back his hand in an outstretched palm, looks at it, and licks it... before rocketing the full force of his punch at Wes' mush, sending him tumbling over the top and to the outside. Axl rushes for the exit as fast as his feet can take him, and HollyRock climbs to the top turnbuckle. As "Epic" by Faith No More hits [the theme of The Glass Ceiling Gang], HollyRock raises a fist to the sky... giving the camera the "Critic's Eyebrow"... as cameras fade to black.]

|the|

[Dr. Silaconne M. Plants]

No, no, no, no, no! Not again....

[Steve Dustin]

Steve Dustin: Are you serious? Are you? When will the time come that you're not apologizing for something? You come out here, run your little grill all over the place, make everybody feel greasy every time you talk, and then apologize for it. Have you not seen a pattern? Does Steve Dustin 4:20 need to open up a can of waffle mixture?

[He walks to all four corners of the ring and does a thumbs up.]

Steve Dustin: You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna take this leather belt here around my waist, staple a piece of paper to it and rename it the WSE Texas Cook Off Title. The title is defended 24/7, but you can only pin the champion if he is in a kitchen or near a barbecue.

[He walks to all four corners of the ring and does a thumbs up. He then looks into the camera.]

Steve Dustin: And that's the bottom line... cuz Steve Dustin snorted it!

[@xL]

I'm sorry because, as I told John twice now, I need to stop worrying about what everyone else thinks. I only need to worry about if I, myself, am having fun with WSE, and as far as BOB, I need to just focus on winning the matches John books me into and defending the Swiss Army belt against the people John books me against. If you think I'm just apologizing to gain attention, then that's your opinion. Peace.

[@xL]

A mere day after BOB Substar Axl defeated former WSE Stupid Star "Drunk Ass" Austin Stevens for the WSE Xtrmkor title, WSE's "Rated G Stupid Star" Nicky Mowse "won" the title back for World Sports Entertainment. Oddly enough, all he had to do was ask. Here is a transcript from the events that occured only a few moments ago on the WSE Geocities live streaming video feed ;

===================================

[Axl is walking, Swiss Army title over one shoulder, the Xtrmkor title over the other... He is walking through Sinister City Mall, showing off his worthless WSE title, and his not-so-worthless BOB title.]

Voice: HEY! You with those two belts over there! I hear that that Xtrmkor belt is defended 24/7!

Axl: (without turning toward the guy who's talking to him) Uhm... yeah. I WAS trying to do this "Swiss Army 24/7" thing, but that didn't work out so hot, so now I'm left with two belts. It's hard to lug them around everywhere I go, 24 hours a day, seven days a week, especially since this belt from WSE isn't worth shit.

Voice: Well, for some reason or another, I WANT!!! So... HAND IT OVER!

[Axl spins around, and finds WSE Stupid Star, Nicky Mowse... the Rated G Stupid Star, in fact.]

Nicky: Heehee! Hidey ho, kiddo! Golly gee willickers, you must be the by gosh MOST ANNOYING, MIDGET ASS, PASTY FACED BASTARD I'VE EVER SEEN!!!

Axl: ... So, you want this Xtrmwhor belt, right?

Nicky: YES! NOW HAND IT OVER BEFORE I HAFTA... HAFTA... Aw shoot, I dunno boys and girls, gumballs and pepper wheels, I might just hafta CLAW YOUR FUCKING EYES OUT!!!

Axl: Here ya go.

[Axl hands the belt over, and Nicky takes it. He looks befuddled at how easily Axl complied...]

Nicky: Uh...

Axl: Peace.

Nicky: ...

[Axl pats the Swiss Army belt on his shoulder, and smiles... turning... and whistling to himself as he mosies off. Nicky is left holding the belt, and beginning to scratch his mouse costume covered head.]

Nicky: Well isn't that a bitch...

===================================

And indeed it WAS a bitch, as but a few seconds after Nicky "won" the title, former WSE Stupid Star, "Drunk Ass" Austin Stevens, RAN NICKY OVER WITH A TRUCK~!!! And then he dropped a bunch of cement on him! And then he hit him with a bedpan! Then he sprayed him down with a water hose! But it didn't shoot out water, it shot out BEER!!! And then he ran him over with a monster truck! And then he took out a gun and fired at him! But it didn't shoot him, it just popped out this little flag that said "BANG"! But I'm sure it had a loud noise, and that might leave a ringing in Nicky's ear! And then Drunk Ass pinned Nicky Mowse and took the Xtrmkor title! And it was the best Xtrmkor title victory filled with lots of random references to WWE Hall of Famer Steve Austin ever!!!

...

EVER~!!!1a

And so, at The Great American BackLash at the Beach, it will be Drunk Ass, FORMER WSE employee, vs Nicky Mowse, FORMER WSE Xtrmkor champion, to determine the undisputed WSE Xtrmkor champ. If Drunk Ass is able to retain the title, then he returns to the active WSE roster. If he loses, then he may not compete for WSE again, even as a bystander to take the 24/7 championship. This is Drunk Ass' last stand! Will he manage to walk away, not only as a champ, but once again as an active member of the roster? Find out, live [on tape], at WSE's "Great American BackLash at the Beach"!

BE THEEERRREEE!!!

Oh, and in a totally unrelated note, WSE Chairman Jack Hoff has decided to return WSE to Nowhere, Oklahoma, renaming the Middle of Nowhere as WSE's official arena. This is due entirely to Jack being pissed at Axl for giving up WSE's most prestigous secondary title [not to mention it's ONLY secondary title]. Jack had this to say ;

"Sinister City is Axl's home. I don't want it to be WSE's home. So we're moving back to his old home. Axl's old home, that is. See, Axl used to live in Nowhere. So now we're living there. Because Axl doesn't live there anymore. So... so THERE."

- TG